Anonymous
12/05/2023 23:25
Subject: Raising a Jewish kid with one Jewish/one atheist parent
For those whose kids are older - say older elementary+ - and you’ve raised them Jewish even though their other parent doesn’t practice any faith/is some other faith in name only. Have your kids ever expressed that they wish they were atheist/whatever the other parent is bc it involves doing nothing? Or does this never come up bc they love their community whether from synagogue or summer camp or wherever?
One of my “fears” is trying to raise kids Jewish but having them “resent” that there is so much to do - learning Hebrew, Sabbath, high holidays, studying for bar/bat mitzvahs - when they see DH and the Christian side of the family do nothing or maybe go to church once a year. I feel like even if you don’t fully practice, even incorporating some Judaism means taking on some additional work/obligations. I can see kids doing it bc they have to, but then running away from it the minute they’re in college bc they don’t have to. Though maybe this doesn’t happen bc they see it as friends/community more than another religious duty to fulfill?
One of my “fears” is trying to raise kids Jewish but having them “resent” that there is so much to do - learning Hebrew, Sabbath, high holidays, studying for bar/bat mitzvahs - when they see DH and the Christian side of the family do nothing or maybe go to church once a year. I feel like even if you don’t fully practice, even incorporating some Judaism means taking on some additional work/obligations. I can see kids doing it bc they have to, but then running away from it the minute they’re in college bc they don’t have to. Though maybe this doesn’t happen bc they see it as friends/community more than another religious duty to fulfill?
Anonymous
12/05/2023 22:23
Subject: Raising a Jewish kid with one Jewish/one atheist parent
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. My husband is an atheist Jew. I am an agnostic Christian. We (like another PP) celebrate Xmas in a secular way.
We raise our kids Jewish by:
1) teaching them Hebrew (my husband knows it)
2) sending them to Jewish preschool and now Hebrew school (they will have their bar and bat mitzvot)
3) reaffirming they are Jews, not Christians, and focusing on that very strongly as part of their identity
4) visiting Israel several times
5) learning about and celebrating holidays (my husband doesn’t really know about them), including through the Days United subscription box (highly recommend)
6) doing Shabbat with candles, prayers, challah, etc.
7) joining a synagogue and going for major holidays (when they were little, we would do the family Shabbat services)
8) listening to Hebrew music, especially pop music 😂
9) sending them to Jewish day camps
As I said, they do celebrate Xmas (and Easter) but do not seem at all confused about the fact that they’re Jewish. They are super proud of it and are very connected to it, in some ways more than my husband, who grew up in a super secular and nonpracticing household.
Serious question: if you & your spouse are atheist & agnostic, why bother with any religious aspect to the kids’ upbringing?
I’m this PP. I do believe in something so maybe I’m not precisely agnostic; I like that the kids are getting a grounding in faith. Spouse and I both think the Jewish heritage piece is incredibly important and a lot of that happens through religious events and activities.
What a messed up kids you are raising. Hope you earn enough for their therapy.
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