Anonymous wrote:Don't let your dislike of her cloud your judgment. Just be there to support his decision, not to make his decisions for him.

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Anonymous wrote:My son has a GF of three years and they were ready to take the next step. He called me bc the GF now wants to move from DC back to her hometown 6 hours away to be w[b]ith her family and would like him to come. At the outset of the relationship they had aligned their goals and she agreed she lik[/b]e DC and was going to stay, so this was a surprise to him. We get why she wants to move home, but that is not his home, DC is and he has built relationships and friends and a business network here. Additionally she is tight with her family and when there was some misunderstanding with one of her siblings with him (dumb stuff) the GF immediately aligned with her family which makes him uncomfortable following her back to her hometown, knowing his support system there might be shaky. He loved her and imagined a life with her, just not this one. In addition they have travel plans in the next few months and he is trying to figure out if he should just end the relationship now, or do something that may or may not work for him.
I'm just a Mom, but I see danger ahead if he goes, I had a tight family, not anymore, but his unease with this I feel is well founded. I just let him talk it out but was noncommittal, because I already don't think the GF really likes me for a number of reasons but keep that to myself, if they have a family I would never see my grandchildren and I know it.

I need clarification on the “and would like him to come”. Is this “I think WE should move here for next stage of life” or I’m moving and I hope you join me? Does she have a job there? Is she moving home for lower housing costs and help with eventual children? Or is this “I can work from anywhere and don’t want to be far from my family anymore” ?

That’s all for son to figure out. Not his mommy.

Who can men ask for advice? Daughters ask for advice all the time.

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Anonymous wrote:My son has a GF of three years and they were ready to take the next step. He called me bc the GF now wants to move from DC back to her hometown 6 hours away to be w[b]ith her family and would like him to come. At the outset of the relationship they had aligned their goals and she agreed she lik[/b]e DC and was going to stay, so this was a surprise to him. We get why she wants to move home, but that is not his home, DC is and he has built relationships and friends and a business network here. Additionally she is tight with her family and when there was some misunderstanding with one of her siblings with him (dumb stuff) the GF immediately aligned with her family which makes him uncomfortable following her back to her hometown, knowing his support system there might be shaky. He loved her and imagined a life with her, just not this one. In addition they have travel plans in the next few months and he is trying to figure out if he should just end the relationship now, or do something that may or may not work for him.
I'm just a Mom, but I see danger ahead if he goes, I had a tight family, not anymore, but his unease with this I feel is well founded. I just let him talk it out but was noncommittal, because I already don't think the GF really likes me for a number of reasons but keep that to myself, if they have a family I would never see my grandchildren and I know it.

I need clarification on the “and would like him to come”. Is this “I think WE should move here for next stage of life” or I’m moving and I hope you join me? Does she have a job there? Is she moving home for lower housing costs and help with eventual children? Or is this “I can work from anywhere and don’t want to be far from my family anymore” ?

That’s all for son to figure out. Not his mommy.

Who can men ask for advice? Daughters ask for advice all the time.

Their father? Close friends?

Anyone but their mom? That is insane.

This is unfair and sexist. Moms are as capable to give a sound and fair advice as any other adult.

Moms are fine but fathers can provide a different perspective. Close friends are going through the same life stage and can relate as a peer.

Friends give a lot of bad advice. Tell you want you want to hear and don't give it to you straight.

Maybe your friends do. Mine have always given me unselfish, honest advice.

You just think they do. Nobody wants tough love or honest advice.

Sorry you don’t have real friends

You're being dishonest. Women tell each other crap all the time. "I'm sure he is just busy at work!" when the truth is "he's just not that into you!" Get real.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like he wants you to make the decision for him. As a parent to an adult, being on his side doesn't mean steering him or making the decision for him. It means having his back, whatever he chooses. But as an adult, he has to make the decision because he's the one who has to live with the consequences.

And coddling is typically offered after a tough decision has been made, not before.

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Anonymous wrote:My son has a GF of three years and they were ready to take the next step. He called me bc the GF now wants to move from DC back to her hometown 6 hours away to be w[b]ith her family and would like him to come. At the outset of the relationship they had aligned their goals and she agreed she lik[/b]e DC and was going to stay, so this was a surprise to him. We get why she wants to move home, but that is not his home, DC is and he has built relationships and friends and a business network here. Additionally she is tight with her family and when there was some misunderstanding with one of her siblings with him (dumb stuff) the GF immediately aligned with her family which makes him uncomfortable following her back to her hometown, knowing his support system there might be shaky. He loved her and imagined a life with her, just not this one. In addition they have travel plans in the next few months and he is trying to figure out if he should just end the relationship now, or do something that may or may not work for him.
I'm just a Mom, but I see danger ahead if he goes, I had a tight family, not anymore, but his unease with this I feel is well founded. I just let him talk it out but was noncommittal, because I already don't think the GF really likes me for a number of reasons but keep that to myself, if they have a family I would never see my grandchildren and I know it.

I need clarification on the “and would like him to come”. Is this “I think WE should move here for next stage of life” or I’m moving and I hope you join me? Does she have a job there? Is she moving home for lower housing costs and help with eventual children? Or is this “I can work from anywhere and don’t want to be far from my family anymore” ?

That’s all for son to figure out. Not his mommy.

Who can men ask for advice? Daughters ask for advice all the time.

Their father? Close friends?

Anyone but their mom? That is insane.

This is unfair and sexist. Moms are as capable to give a sound and fair advice as any other adult.

Moms are fine but fathers can provide a different perspective. Close friends are going through the same life stage and can relate as a peer.

Friends give a lot of bad advice. Tell you want you want to hear and don't give it to you straight.

Maybe your friends do. Mine have always given me unselfish, honest advice.

You just think they do. Nobody wants tough love or honest advice.

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Anonymous wrote:My son has a GF of three years and they were ready to take the next step. He called me bc the GF now wants to move from DC back to her hometown 6 hours away to be with her family and would like him to come. At the outset of the relationship they had aligned their goals and she agreed she like DC and was going to stay, so this was a surprise to him. We get why she wants to move home, but that is not his home, DC is and he has built relationships and friends and a business network here. Additionally she is tight with her family and when there was some misunderstanding with one of her siblings with him (dumb stuff) the GF immediately aligned with her family which makes him uncomfortable following her back to her hometown, knowing his support system there might be shaky. He loved her and imagined a life with her, just not this one. In addition they have travel plans in the next few months and he is trying to figure out if he should just end the relationship now, or do something that may or may not work for him.
I'm just a Mom, but I see danger ahead if he goes, I had a tight family, not anymore, but his unease with this I feel is well founded. I just let him talk it out but was noncommittal, because I already don't think the GF really likes me for a number of reasons but keep that to myself, if they have a family I would never see my grandchildren and I know it.

I would run from your son because of your overinvolvement. An adult doesn’t need mommy trying to decide his life for him. Listen but don’t push what you want.


Get therapy because you clearly want to clip your kid’s wings.

What about the GF who needs to move back home to be near mommy, same advice? Going back to the nest is not an encouraging sign of a mature, self sufficient adult.

Who said she’s running back to mommy? You are dishonest and manipulative. We’re telling mom to stay out of it not trying to make the decisions for these two.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. GF is running home to be with her mommy who will likely be overinvolved in her life. OP wants to stay involved too. Why is it only good for mothers of daughters to want to stay involved? Would you advise mom of GF to stay out of it and encourage her daughter to act differently?

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am glad I gave the group so much satisfaction. Keep on hating.

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Anonymous wrote:My son has a GF of three years and they were ready to take the next step. He called me bc the GF now wants to move from DC back to her hometown 6 hours away to be w[b]ith her family and would like him to come. At the outset of the relationship they had aligned their goals and she agreed she lik[/b]e DC and was going to stay, so this was a surprise to him. We get why she wants to move home, but that is not his home, DC is and he has built relationships and friends and a business network here. Additionally she is tight with her family and when there was some misunderstanding with one of her siblings with him (dumb stuff) the GF immediately aligned with her family which makes him uncomfortable following her back to her hometown, knowing his support system there might be shaky. He loved her and imagined a life with her, just not this one. In addition they have travel plans in the next few months and he is trying to figure out if he should just end the relationship now, or do something that may or may not work for him.
I'm just a Mom, but I see danger ahead if he goes, I had a tight family, not anymore, but his unease with this I feel is well founded. I just let him talk it out but was noncommittal, because I already don't think the GF really likes me for a number of reasons but keep that to myself, if they have a family I would never see my grandchildren and I know it.

I need clarification on the “and would like him to come”. Is this “I think WE should move here for next stage of life” or I’m moving and I hope you join me? Does she have a job there? Is she moving home for lower housing costs and help with eventual children? Or is this “I can work from anywhere and don’t want to be far from my family anymore” ?

That’s all for son to figure out. Not his mommy.

Who can men ask for advice? Daughters ask for advice all the time.

I really don’t think DS wants advice. He knows that he doesn’t want to go but wants someone on his side. Don’t we all need a little coddling sometime. He knows mom will give it. Of course his GF can change her mind, he knows that, he just wants someone in his side of breakup. And to all those people mocking “mommy” sorry you didn’t have a family that provided your comfort when needed.

It's not that. Your son never really grew up.

You sound like you have no positive adult relationships… so you grew up but not emotionally.

I love it when OP gets into a pissing match with posters. What a low class.

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Anonymous wrote:My son has a GF of three years and they were ready to take the next step. He called me bc the GF now wants to move from DC back to her hometown 6 hours away to be w[b]ith her family and would like him to come. At the outset of the relationship they had aligned their goals and she agreed she lik[/b]e DC and was going to stay, so this was a surprise to him. We get why she wants to move home, but that is not his home, DC is and he has built relationships and friends and a business network here. Additionally she is tight with her family and when there was some misunderstanding with one of her siblings with him (dumb stuff) the GF immediately aligned with her family which makes him uncomfortable following her back to her hometown, knowing his support system there might be shaky. He loved her and imagined a life with her, just not this one. In addition they have travel plans in the next few months and he is trying to figure out if he should just end the relationship now, or do something that may or may not work for him.
I'm just a Mom, but I see danger ahead if he goes, I had a tight family, not anymore, but his unease with this I feel is well founded. I just let him talk it out but was noncommittal, because I already don't think the GF really likes me for a number of reasons but keep that to myself, if they have a family I would never see my grandchildren and I know it.

I need clarification on the “and would like him to come”. Is this “I think WE should move here for next stage of life” or I’m moving and I hope you join me? Does she have a job there? Is she moving home for lower housing costs and help with eventual children? Or is this “I can work from anywhere and don’t want to be far from my family anymore” ?

That’s all for son to figure out. Not his mommy.

Who can men ask for advice? Daughters ask for advice all the time.

I really don’t think DS wants advice. He knows that he doesn’t want to go but wants someone on his side. Don’t we all need a little coddling sometime. He knows mom will give it. Of course his GF can change her mind, he knows that, he just wants someone in his side of breakup. And to all those people mocking “mommy” sorry you didn’t have a family that provided your comfort when needed.

It's not that. Your son never really grew up.

You sound like you have no positive adult relationships… so you grew up but not emotionally.

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Everyone gets a broken heart. He will be fine.

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Anonymous wrote:My son has a GF of three years and they were ready to take the next step. He called me bc the GF now wants to move from DC back to her hometown 6 hours away to be w[b]ith her family and would like him to come. At the outset of the relationship they had aligned their goals and she agreed she lik[/b]e DC and was going to stay, so this was a surprise to him. We get why she wants to move home, but that is not his home, DC is and he has built relationships and friends and a business network here. Additionally she is tight with her family and when there was some misunderstanding with one of her siblings with him (dumb stuff) the GF immediately aligned with her family which makes him uncomfortable following her back to her hometown, knowing his support system there might be shaky. He loved her and imagined a life with her, just not this one. In addition they have travel plans in the next few months and he is trying to figure out if he should just end the relationship now, or do something that may or may not work for him.
I'm just a Mom, but I see danger ahead if he goes, I had a tight family, not anymore, but his unease with this I feel is well founded. I just let him talk it out but was noncommittal, because I already don't think the GF really likes me for a number of reasons but keep that to myself, if they have a family I would never see my grandchildren and I know it.

I need clarification on the “and would like him to come”. Is this “I think WE should move here for next stage of life” or I’m moving and I hope you join me? Does she have a job there? Is she moving home for lower housing costs and help with eventual children? Or is this “I can work from anywhere and don’t want to be far from my family anymore” ?

That’s all for son to figure out. Not his mommy.

Who can men ask for advice? Daughters ask for advice all the time.

Their father? Close friends?

Anyone but their mom? That is insane.

This is unfair and sexist. Moms are as capable to give a sound and fair advice as any other adult.

Moms are fine but fathers can provide a different perspective. Close friends are going through the same life stage and can relate as a peer.

Friends give a lot of bad advice. Tell you want you want to hear and don't give it to you straight.

Maybe your friends do. Mine have always given me unselfish, honest advice.

You just think they do. Nobody wants tough love or honest advice.

Sorry you don’t have real friends

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:My son has a GF of three years and they were ready to take the next step. He called me bc the GF now wants to move from DC back to her hometown 6 hours away to be w[b]ith her family and would like him to come. At the outset of the relationship they had aligned their goals and she agreed she lik[/b]e DC and was going to stay, so this was a surprise to him. We get why she wants to move home, but that is not his home, DC is and he has built relationships and friends and a business network here. Additionally she is tight with her family and when there was some misunderstanding with one of her siblings with him (dumb stuff) the GF immediately aligned with her family which makes him uncomfortable following her back to her hometown, knowing his support system there might be shaky. He loved her and imagined a life with her, just not this one. In addition they have travel plans in the next few months and he is trying to figure out if he should just end the relationship now, or do something that may or may not work for him.
I'm just a Mom, but I see danger ahead if he goes, I had a tight family, not anymore, but his unease with this I feel is well founded. I just let him talk it out but was noncommittal, because I already don't think the GF really likes me for a number of reasons but keep that to myself, if they have a family I would never see my grandchildren and I know it.

I need clarification on the “and would like him to come”. Is this “I think WE should move here for next stage of life” or I’m moving and I hope you join me? Does she have a job there? Is she moving home for lower housing costs and help with eventual children? Or is this “I can work from anywhere and don’t want to be far from my family anymore” ?

That’s all for son to figure out. Not his mommy.

Who can men ask for advice? Daughters ask for advice all the time.

Their father? Close friends?

Anyone but their mom? That is insane.

This is unfair and sexist. Moms are as capable to give a sound and fair advice as any other adult.

Moms are fine but fathers can provide a different perspective. Close friends are going through the same life stage and can relate as a peer.

Friends give a lot of bad advice. Tell you want you want to hear and don't give it to you straight.