Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry, OP. This is impossibly hard.

I’ll share what we did, though when I posted about it once I got severely flamed.

We have a full time nanny who acts like a co-parent to our child. He spends 2-3 nights per week at her house. He’s included in her extended family events. This arrangement has evolved over time and it is expensive but it’s worth it for us.

I know it may not be realistic for your family, OP, but I’m sharing so you know that there’s nothing wrong with you for needing more support.

I feel sad for your child. Why not just have him at her house full-time so he can be fully with a family.

I don’t know why you are getting attitude for this. We have a a PT aide for our 17 year old son who has profound disabilities and he does something similar with her. He loves it and he’s included in BOTH our family functions and hers. I think it’s a wonderful experience for him. She’s been with us for 8 years and she’s totally a part of our family as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry, OP. This is impossibly hard.

I’ll share what we did, though when I posted about it once I got severely flamed.

We have a full time nanny who acts like a co-parent to our child. He spends 2-3 nights per week at her house. He’s included in her extended family events. This arrangement has evolved over time and it is expensive but it’s worth it for us.

I know it may not be realistic for your family, OP, but I’m sharing so you know that there’s nothing wrong with you for needing more support.

I feel sad for your child. Why not just have him at her house full-time so he can be fully with a family.

I don’t know why you are getting attitude for this. We have a a PT aide for our 17 year old son who has profound disabilities and he does something similar with her. He loves it and he’s included in BOTH our family functions and hers. I think it’s a wonderful experience for him. She’s been with us for 8 years and she’s totally a part of our family as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry, OP. This is impossibly hard.

I’ll share what we did, though when I posted about it once I got severely flamed.

We have a full time nanny who acts like a co-parent to our child. He spends 2-3 nights per week at her house. He’s included in her extended family events. This arrangement has evolved over time and it is expensive but it’s worth it for us.

I know it may not be realistic for your family, OP, but I’m sharing so you know that there’s nothing wrong with you for needing more support.

I feel sad for your child. Why not just have him at her house full-time so he can be fully with a family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another idea- a special needs trained au pair. If you have the space, that would be very inexpensive on a per-hour basis vs any other help you could hire.

We did this and it was a disaster - we paid a huge up front fee and then a large monthly fee to the agency. The agency did do a care plan and seemed organized, but the au pair was AWFUL. Zero special needs experience when tons had been claimed. It was like having an incompetent teenager (even though she was late 20s) in the house and she created more work than she helped with. Proceed carefully b/c this agency gets good reviews. I don't trust the reviews at all after our experience

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in Kentucky. I know someone whose sister went to go live with foster parents without terminating rights. This means that when the foster parent can’t or doesn’t want to do it anymore they have to find someone else. However, this means she cones home on weekends or whatever arrangement they have agreed upon. So the child still stayed connected to the family. I wish I could remember what this was called.

I agree you should find an attorney. You might be surprised and they waive or reduce the fees. My brother was adopted and he always does adoptions pro bono for example.

There’s also many boarding schools and alternative education options in the Philadelphia area. Special needs education tuition is tax deductible under medical expenses.



Wishing your whole family help and peace. I’m so sorry

It sounds like they cannot or will not pay for a private placement and it's not serious enough for the school system to pay and the child is very young so that's another issue. Parents of kids in foster care get visitation depending on the court recommendation but imagine being a child whose parents gave you up, kept your siblings, clearly don't want you and being forced to visit in that home environment. That may not be in the child's best interests. Also, there is no guarantee the child would go into a residential placement. They could go in a full range from a regular foster home, therapeutic foster home, group home to residential care.

The court will assign them an attorney if they cannot find one. That's a non-issue. The child will have to be placed in foster care by the courts. If the parents want the child back they will have to follow the court orders to get them back or their rights can be terminated if they don't voluntarily sign. Hopefully CPS can find this child a loving home with parents who want them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, voluntary placement is very much a thing in Maryland, and no you don't need to retain a lawyer to access it. Here is a link to the actual state law-
https://www.law.cornell.edu/regulations/maryland/COMAR-07-02-11-06

OP, you can call the MD Department of Health and Human Services for more information on how to start the process. They will help you.

OP, do not call a mandated reporter and tell them you want to terminate parental rights on one of your children before talking to a family lawyer who has experience with MD's child welfare system. You are inviting a lot of scrutiny into your home and parenting and could wind up losing custody of all your kids.

Anonymous wrote:Another idea- a special needs trained au pair. If you have the space, that would be very inexpensive on a per-hour basis vs any other help you could hire.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in Kentucky. I know someone whose sister went to go live with foster parents without terminating rights. This means that when the foster parent can’t or doesn’t want to do it anymore they have to find someone else. However, this means she cones home on weekends or whatever arrangement they have agreed upon. So the child still stayed connected to the family. I wish I could remember what this was called.

I agree you should find an attorney. You might be surprised and they waive or reduce the fees. My brother was adopted and he always does adoptions pro bono for example.

There’s also many boarding schools and alternative education options in the Philadelphia area. Special needs education tuition is tax deductible under medical expenses.



Wishing your whole family help and peace. I’m so sorry

It sounds like they cannot or will not pay for a private placement and it's not serious enough for the school system to pay and the child is very young so that's another issue. Parents of kids in foster care get visitation depending on the court recommendation but imagine being a child whose parents gave you up, kept your siblings, clearly don't want you and being forced to visit in that home environment. That may not be in the child's best interests. Also, there is no guarantee the child would go into a residential placement. They could go in a full range from a regular foster home, therapeutic foster home, group home to residential care.

The court will assign them an attorney if they cannot find one. That's a non-issue. The child will have to be placed in foster care by the courts. If the parents want the child back they will have to follow the court orders to get them back or their rights can be terminated if they don't voluntarily sign. Hopefully CPS can find this child a loving home with parents who want them.

You aren’t really in the discussion.

Yes, I am. There is no guarantee your child would get residential.

There’s never any guarantee. But there are residential schools for this. So WHAT is your point?

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry, OP. This is impossibly hard.

I’ll share what we did, though when I posted about it once I got severely flamed.

We have a full time nanny who acts like a co-parent to our child. He spends 2-3 nights per week at her house. He’s included in her extended family events. This arrangement has evolved over time and it is expensive but it’s worth it for us.

I know it may not be realistic for your family, OP, but I’m sharing so you know that there’s nothing wrong with you for needing more support.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in Kentucky. I know someone whose sister went to go live with foster parents without terminating rights. This means that when the foster parent can’t or doesn’t want to do it anymore they have to find someone else. However, this means she cones home on weekends or whatever arrangement they have agreed upon. So the child still stayed connected to the family. I wish I could remember what this was called.

I agree you should find an attorney. You might be surprised and they waive or reduce the fees. My brother was adopted and he always does adoptions pro bono for example.

There’s also many boarding schools and alternative education options in the Philadelphia area. Special needs education tuition is tax deductible under medical expenses.



Wishing your whole family help and peace. I’m so sorry

It sounds like they cannot or will not pay for a private placement and it's not serious enough for the school system to pay and the child is very young so that's another issue. Parents of kids in foster care get visitation depending on the court recommendation but imagine being a child whose parents gave you up, kept your siblings, clearly don't want you and being forced to visit in that home environment. That may not be in the child's best interests. Also, there is no guarantee the child would go into a residential placement. They could go in a full range from a regular foster home, therapeutic foster home, group home to residential care.

The court will assign them an attorney if they cannot find one. That's a non-issue. The child will have to be placed in foster care by the courts. If the parents want the child back they will have to follow the court orders to get them back or their rights can be terminated if they don't voluntarily sign. Hopefully CPS can find this child a loving home with parents who want them.

You aren’t really in the discussion.

Yes, I am. There is no guarantee your child would get residential.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in Kentucky. I know someone whose sister went to go live with foster parents without terminating rights. This means that when the foster parent can’t or doesn’t want to do it anymore they have to find someone else. However, this means she cones home on weekends or whatever arrangement they have agreed upon. So the child still stayed connected to the family. I wish I could remember what this was called.

I agree you should find an attorney. You might be surprised and they waive or reduce the fees. My brother was adopted and he always does adoptions pro bono for example.

There’s also many boarding schools and alternative education options in the Philadelphia area. Special needs education tuition is tax deductible under medical expenses.



Wishing your whole family help and peace. I’m so sorry

It sounds like they cannot or will not pay for a private placement and it's not serious enough for the school system to pay and the child is very young so that's another issue. Parents of kids in foster care get visitation depending on the court recommendation but imagine being a child whose parents gave you up, kept your siblings, clearly don't want you and being forced to visit in that home environment. That may not be in the child's best interests. Also, there is no guarantee the child would go into a residential placement. They could go in a full range from a regular foster home, therapeutic foster home, group home to residential care.

The court will assign them an attorney if they cannot find one. That's a non-issue. The child will have to be placed in foster care by the courts. If the parents want the child back they will have to follow the court orders to get them back or their rights can be terminated if they don't voluntarily sign. Hopefully CPS can find this child a loving home with parents who want them.

You aren’t really in the discussion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, voluntary placement is very much a thing in Maryland, and no you don't need to retain a lawyer to access it. Here is a link to the actual state law-
https://www.law.cornell.edu/regulations/maryland/COMAR-07-02-11-06

OP, you can call the MD Department of Health and Human Services for more information on how to start the process. They will help you.

OP, do not call a mandated reporter and tell them you want to terminate parental rights on one of your children before talking to a family lawyer who has experience with MD's child welfare system. You are inviting a lot of scrutiny into your home and parenting and could wind up losing custody of all your kids.

God yes this IS fear mongering. You don't tell them you want to give up your rights, you tell them you want help finding residential treatment. I HAVE DONE THIS and did NOT LOSE MY OTHER CHILDREN>

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, voluntary placement is very much a thing in Maryland, and no you don't need to retain a lawyer to access it. Here is a link to the actual state law-
https://www.law.cornell.edu/regulations/maryland/COMAR-07-02-11-06

OP, you can call the MD Department of Health and Human Services for more information on how to start the process. They will help you.

OP, do not call a mandated reporter and tell them you want to terminate parental rights on one of your children before talking to a family lawyer who has experience with MD's child welfare system. You are inviting a lot of scrutiny into your home and parenting and could wind up losing custody of all your kids.

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry, OP. This is impossibly hard.

I’ll share what we did, though when I posted about it once I got severely flamed.

We have a full time nanny who acts like a co-parent to our child. He spends 2-3 nights per week at her house. He’s included in her extended family events. This arrangement has evolved over time and it is expensive but it’s worth it for us.

I know it may not be realistic for your family, OP, but I’m sharing so you know that there’s nothing wrong with you for needing more support.