Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Typical DCUM.

They are not creative, only robots. That’s why they are successful.

They are not charitable, only selfish. That’s why they have money.

The bias and stereotyping from the “hate has no home here yard sign” DCUM cried when it comes to Indians and Asians as a whole never fails.

+1. Liberal tw*ts! (*=a).

Sure, conservatives have no problem with Indians.
As long as they shut up and vote the right way, they are acceptable as the model minority

Indians obviously ignorant of US immigration policy history. If not for the dems, they as$$ would still be living in mud homes with grass roofs and using out houses. Today rich Indians call themselves "conservatives" because that equals more $$ in the pocket.

This crap keeps popping up a lot.. as though we 'owe' something to the dems. We don't. Let me flip the argument on you. The US owes Indian immigrants a lot for its current state of tech innovation. Without us Silicon valley would have stalled and the money and innovation would have happened elsewhere. Indians would have just gone there. See how that works?

It's not about being a conservative or a liberal. Most of us generally support common sense policies. Is the federal govt. bloated, yes? Should we shut down the dept. of education? No. There's always room in the middle and just because that's not liberal enough for your tastes doesn't make us conservatives. Not that we care what you think..

Anyways.. we don't owe you or the conservatives anything. If you don't like Asians coming into the country, my country, change the laws.. if you can.

Do you know what “innovation” is? Indians, much like Chinese, Japanese and most otters can mass produce…think writing code all day long. Do yourself a favor and look up innovation and whet mar nations are masters at it. Indians not in the pic

My boss is a GS-15 so makes at least 145k, he is white
My team lead is black American, a GS-14
Another team leas is white, a GS-14

We can list the salaries of millions of Americans so millions of dcum posts

46. $170k GS-15.
DH 47. $220k. Non FAANG tech.

Read about Mayor LaGuardia, a man of immigrant heritage, dedicated to public service and improving the lives of all people of his city, those who looked like him and those who did not. He was characterized by his compassion. Isn't that a great legacy?

The Little Flower: Fiorello LaGuardia
Here’s a story about Fiorello LaGuardia who was mayor of New York City during the worst days of the Great Depression and all of WWII. Many New Yorkers adored him. They took to calling him the “Little Flower”. All because he was so short and always wore a carnation in his lapel. Mayor LaGuardia was a colorful character.

Where is Arthur MacArthur IV? (Little Known Secrets about Him)

He rode the New York City fire trucks, raided city “speakeasies” with the police department, and took entire orphanages to baseball games. When the New York newspapers went on strike, he got on the radio and read the Sunday funnies to the kids.

A Fine Must Be Payed
One bitterly cold night in January of 1935, the mayor turned up at a night court. The court served the poorest ward of the city. Mayor LaGuardia dismissed the judge for the evening and took over the bench himself.

Within a few minutes, a tattered old woman was brought before him, charged with stealing a loaf of bread. She told Mayor LaGuardia that her daughter’s husband had deserted her. Her daughter was sick and her two grandchildren were starving.

But the shopkeeper, from whom the bread was stolen, refused to drop the charges. “It’s a really bad neighborhood, your Honor,” the man told the mayor. “She’s got to be punished to teach other people around here a lesson.”

Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia sighed. He turned to the woman and said, “I’ve got to punish you. The law makes no exceptions. Ten dollars or ten days in jail.”

Even as he pronounced the sentence, the mayor was already reaching into his pocket. He extracted a bill and tossed it into his famous hat.

He proclaimed, “Here is the ten dollar fine which I now remit; and furthermore I am going to fine everyone in this courtroom fifty cents for living in a town where a person has to steal bread so that her grandchildren can eat. Mr. Bailiff, collect the fines and give them to the defendant.”

Famous Compassion: Mayor LaGuardia
The following day, New York City newspapers reported the incident. A bewildered woman who had stolen a loaf of bread to feed her starving grandchildren received $47.50. The grocery store owner himself contributed fifty cents of that amount.

Furthermore, some seventy petty criminals, people with traffic violations, and New York City policemen participated. Each of whom had just paid fifty cents for the privilege of doing so, gave the mayor a standing ovation.

Someone beautifully said, “Sympathy sees and says, ‘I’m sorry.’ Compassion sees and says, ‘I’ll help.’ When we learn the difference, we can make a difference.”

Just like Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia…

A Timeline of Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia Before He Became Mayor
Fiorello LaGuardia was born in New York City on December 11, 1882.
Italian Catholic father and an observant Jewish mother
Fiorello’s first job was with the U.S. Embassy in Budapest in 1900.
He later worked for the U.S. Immigration Service in New York City while he studied law at New York University.
LaGuardia was admitted to the bar in 1910.
In 1916, he became the first Italian-American elected to the U.S. House of Representatives.
A Vocal Opponent Of The Nazis
Fiorello LaGuardia belonged to the progressive wing of the Republican Party. He opposed prohibition, supported women’s suffrage, and passionately campaigned against child labor. In 1932, he co-sponsored the Norris-LaGuardia Act, which restricted the power of courts to ban strikes. LaGuardia also became known as an early and vocal opponent of the Nazis.

Also in 1932, Franklin D. Roosevelt’s landslide victory swept away many Republican members of Congress, including LaGuardia. LaGuardia felt undeterred by this and finally won the mayoral election of New York City in 1933. He became affectionately known as ‘The Little Flower’ due to his 5 foot 2 stature. His compassionate attitude towards the people of New York is undeniable.

Over the next twelve years, he developed a reputation as an efficient and honest administrator. A supporter of the New Deal, LaGuardia expanded the city’s social welfare services. Furthermore, he initiated a program of low-cost housing. One of his best-known remarks was, “There is no Democratic or Republican way to clean the streets.”

The First man Elected Mayor Of New York For Three Consecutive Terms
Fiorello H. LaGuardia was the first man to win the election of Mayor of New York for three consecutive terms. Many people agreed that he was like New York’s most colorful Mayor since Peter Stuyvesant.

Dynamite and aggressive, he was a fighter by nature and constantly flew all over the country by airplane. He would take on anybody, no matter their size, including Hitler. He even went as far as to make brave public remarks that caused a stir.

When he took office as Mayor on January 1, 1934, Fiorello LaGuardia had climbed higher on the political ladder than any other American of Italian descent.

LaGuardia came to office in January 1934 with five main goals:

Restore the financial health and break free from the bankers’ control.
Expand the federally-funded work relief program for the unemployed.
Ending corruption in government and racketeering in key sectors of the economy
Replace patronage with a merit-based civil service, with high prestige
Modernize the infrastructure, especially transportation and parks
He achieved the majority of the first four goals in his first hundred days. FDR gave him 20% of the entire national CWA budget for work relief. LaGuardia then collaborated closely with Robert Moses, with support from the governor Democrat Herbert Lehman, to upgrade the decaying infrastructure.

Fiorello LaGuardia’s Childhood And Start in Politics
Fiorello LaGuardia’s parents came to the United States from Foggia, Italy. Although he was born on the East Side of Manhattan on Dec. 11, 1882, Fiorello LaGuardia was by no means a product of the city streets.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Underachiever here - age 43 - 225k as a lawyer at a financial regulator. Did the biglaw thing for 8 years so I guess I made money there, but not the type of money that associates make now and I had no prayer of making partner. Yes I'm plenty Americanized with ivy degrees and all but coming up for partner in 2008 in NYC didn't help - no one was going to stick their neck out for me and my career never recovered. So here I am stuck in government.

you are not an underachiever....

Objectively I get that but it doesn't feel that way when every uncle in town - and to an extent my own parents - are constantly like partner partner partner, you didn't make partner, after all that money your parents spent sending you to the ivys blah blah. They act like the 2008 recession was a personal failing. Sure I guess it was a personal failing to not want to jump to another firm and slog it out for another 5 years to try to make it, but I just didn't have it in me to work the 80-90 hr NYC weeks for that much longer with no guarantees; another thing these uncles - most of whom never worked more than 40.0 hours a day in their lives in engineering do not understand. (I do understand that many many Indian immigrants slogged out much much longer hours, but the ones judging me were all in engineering and all had the 40 hours and I'm checked out by 5 pm lives.)

You need to live your life per what pleases you. Tell your uncles, parents they are no longer in the “old country” where you’re never good enough as a person if you don’t excel professionally. Life really is very temporary, a game of sorts and sadly the legacy Indian culture is blind to this fact. Refreshingly with newer generations, I’m seeing Indian kids become teachers, journalists, firemen, cops, chefs, etc. The fear factor decreases with each generation.

+1000. I frankly wouldn't even tell them anything bc you can't teach a 70 or 80 year old who isn't willing to learn. Just ignore, live your life, enjoy your great salary and benefits while NOT working 90 hours/week.

But listen sometimes about how unhappy some of these 70-80+ year olds in our community really are. They never lived their own lives - it was all about what THEIR mommies and daddies wanted them to do and then they turned around and hovered over their own kids for the next 30 years. I mean it's sad that an entire generation of elders lived life out of obligation, to impress the Patels or the Khans or whomever, and really don't even know themselves, their own likes/dislikes, don't have any hobbies besides counting money - their own and everyone else's. And now all they can do is sit around and gossip about you - because the only way to feel better is to put someone else down.

I'm super proud of our younger generations - the kids who are currently in their 20s. Their 50 year old parents have backed off to an extent - and if they haven't - these 21 year olds have no problem telling mom and dad to shove it, as they get jobs in urban planning, speech therapy, and whatever else they want to do. Sorry auntie and uncle, not everyone dreams of being an engineer, dr, or lawyer.

I completely agree. I have a lot of sympathy because they had to sacrifice everything and never got to live out their own personal dreams, especially the women. So they transport their unfulfilled ambitions on their children and grandchildren. Moreover they are guilty of wanting to impress friends and neighbors with their kids’ accomplishments. Unfortunately, our parents information about work, college and everything else is so outdated and completely wrong. So it just leads to debates IMO.

I have sympathy in a way and then I don't. I get it - tons of sacrifice, providing for the kids, the women were never allowed to have dreams, frankly the men weren't either bc they were living out whatever lives their parents wanted for them. But some of these people are in their 70s-80s now, meaning their own Indian-American kids launched some 20+ years ago. If they could back off of hovering over their kids' and grandkids' lives and still being soooo concerned with what auntie so and so will think of where their grandson is going to college, they could LIVE NOW. Sure no one can turn back the hands of time and pursue a dream profession that you would have pursued at age 25. But you can have hobbies, travel, write, hike, whatever you want; lots of these people have serious money too - so it's not like financially strapped retirees.

But nope instead they'd rather sit in judgment of everyone and debate issues of work, school, which are COMPLETELY different now than they were in 1985. If I have to debate ONE more time with my parents that hybrid work is not going to last and everyone is going back to the office just like they were in 1998, I will scream. First off they've been retired for decades so they don't get what work is like now. Second off - uh hybrid has lasted on the east coast for 3.5 years + the millennials/Zs have NO fears walking away from a job - even a prestige job if it doesn't give them the LIFE they want. My parents want to debate over and over and over again that absolutely NO ONE would ever leave Goldman Sachs or Skadden ever so of course they'll go back to the office and jump on the employer's command. Sure some % would never leave Goldman or Skadden, but there's another % that HAS left because they've decided they want to do other things, live a different way that they'll enjoy more. Unthinkable.

I’m laughing because my husband and I can completely relate!

Totally -- PP was spot-on.

I suppose by most East Asian standards, I'm a failure. I graduated from an HYPS majoring in "useless liberal arts subjects" (English and Psych), and immediately matriculated to another Ivy for law school.

I was instantly horrified when I got to law school and dropped out after 1L. My parents were horrified, disgusted, frustrated, angry, and beyond disappointed -- we didn't talk to each other for about a year and a half after that. And when we did start talking again, it was for very brief, shallow conversations for most of my 20s.

They were horrified and disappointed that they couldn't brag to their friends and family from our East Asian country anymore that I was no longer an Ivy-educated law student. I spent a few years in my 20s after that as an outdoor educator (similar to being an Outward Bound instructor), which is basically unheard of for East Asians. I was the only Asian woman in most of these outdoorsy workplaces.

It all worked out though -- the soft skills I gained from that job led me to gain admission to a fully-funded PhD program, and I'm currently a clinical psychologist making around ~$300k/year. Ironically, many of my patients are 2nd-gen Asian Americans who sought me out specifically because there's a shortage of Asian psychologists.

There is a lot of pain, grief, and dysfunction underneath the seemingly functional and wealthy facades. Many high-achieving 2nd-gen Asian-Americans have a very poor sense of self, and PP is accurate that they have very little clue about their own likes/dislikes and own preferences. Marriages and interpersonal relationships are often strained because lots of tiger cubs aren't able to generously offer intimacy in relationships (although rarely do they divorce -- that's a big no no in the culture).

You are insufferable. Get over yourself.

I disagree. I thought it was a great post. There is a massive need for what this person does. There are too many families using abusive tactics to force their kids onto paths that don't suit them. I come from another ethnic group where this is common and it can cause a lot of damage. Another huge issue that comes up is how some of these systems reject those with special needs and how alienating it can be for families raising a child with sn. The parents did everything their parents wanted and then having the nerve to raise an innocent child with delays makes them all be rejected-no bragging rights.

This hasn't been true in my experience. Remember, in the Tiger Mom book, Amy Chua talks about how proud her own mother was with her younger sister with autism. They were so proud of her for holding down a job at Walmart. This resonates with my experience in the Asian American community as well.

Also, there is not a "massive need" for Asian psychologists. Asian-American culture looks down on the narcissistic navel-gazing inherent in therapy. I'm glad that we are mentally strong enough as a community to not be like the self-absorbed White Americans who rely on therapy as a crutch for even when the smallest things in their life go wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Underachiever here - age 43 - 225k as a lawyer at a financial regulator. Did the biglaw thing for 8 years so I guess I made money there, but not the type of money that associates make now and I had no prayer of making partner. Yes I'm plenty Americanized with ivy degrees and all but coming up for partner in 2008 in NYC didn't help - no one was going to stick their neck out for me and my career never recovered. So here I am stuck in government.

you are not an underachiever....

Objectively I get that but it doesn't feel that way when every uncle in town - and to an extent my own parents - are constantly like partner partner partner, you didn't make partner, after all that money your parents spent sending you to the ivys blah blah. They act like the 2008 recession was a personal failing. Sure I guess it was a personal failing to not want to jump to another firm and slog it out for another 5 years to try to make it, but I just didn't have it in me to work the 80-90 hr NYC weeks for that much longer with no guarantees; another thing these uncles - most of whom never worked more than 40.0 hours a day in their lives in engineering do not understand. (I do understand that many many Indian immigrants slogged out much much longer hours, but the ones judging me were all in engineering and all had the 40 hours and I'm checked out by 5 pm lives.)

You need to live your life per what pleases you. Tell your uncles, parents they are no longer in the “old country” where you’re never good enough as a person if you don’t excel professionally. Life really is very temporary, a game of sorts and sadly the legacy Indian culture is blind to this fact. Refreshingly with newer generations, I’m seeing Indian kids become teachers, journalists, firemen, cops, chefs, etc. The fear factor decreases with each generation.

+1000. I frankly wouldn't even tell them anything bc you can't teach a 70 or 80 year old who isn't willing to learn. Just ignore, live your life, enjoy your great salary and benefits while NOT working 90 hours/week.

But listen sometimes about how unhappy some of these 70-80+ year olds in our community really are. They never lived their own lives - it was all about what THEIR mommies and daddies wanted them to do and then they turned around and hovered over their own kids for the next 30 years. I mean it's sad that an entire generation of elders lived life out of obligation, to impress the Patels or the Khans or whomever, and really don't even know themselves, their own likes/dislikes, don't have any hobbies besides counting money - their own and everyone else's. And now all they can do is sit around and gossip about you - because the only way to feel better is to put someone else down.

I'm super proud of our younger generations - the kids who are currently in their 20s. Their 50 year old parents have backed off to an extent - and if they haven't - these 21 year olds have no problem telling mom and dad to shove it, as they get jobs in urban planning, speech therapy, and whatever else they want to do. Sorry auntie and uncle, not everyone dreams of being an engineer, dr, or lawyer.

I completely agree. I have a lot of sympathy because they had to sacrifice everything and never got to live out their own personal dreams, especially the women. So they transport their unfulfilled ambitions on their children and grandchildren. Moreover they are guilty of wanting to impress friends and neighbors with their kids’ accomplishments. Unfortunately, our parents information about work, college and everything else is so outdated and completely wrong. So it just leads to debates IMO.

I have sympathy in a way and then I don't. I get it - tons of sacrifice, providing for the kids, the women were never allowed to have dreams, frankly the men weren't either bc they were living out whatever lives their parents wanted for them. But some of these people are in their 70s-80s now, meaning their own Indian-American kids launched some 20+ years ago. If they could back off of hovering over their kids' and grandkids' lives and still being soooo concerned with what auntie so and so will think of where their grandson is going to college, they could LIVE NOW. Sure no one can turn back the hands of time and pursue a dream profession that you would have pursued at age 25. But you can have hobbies, travel, write, hike, whatever you want; lots of these people have serious money too - so it's not like financially strapped retirees.

But nope instead they'd rather sit in judgment of everyone and debate issues of work, school, which are COMPLETELY different now than they were in 1985. If I have to debate ONE more time with my parents that hybrid work is not going to last and everyone is going back to the office just like they were in 1998, I will scream. First off they've been retired for decades so they don't get what work is like now. Second off - uh hybrid has lasted on the east coast for 3.5 years + the millennials/Zs have NO fears walking away from a job - even a prestige job if it doesn't give them the LIFE they want. My parents want to debate over and over and over again that absolutely NO ONE would ever leave Goldman Sachs or Skadden ever so of course they'll go back to the office and jump on the employer's command. Sure some % would never leave Goldman or Skadden, but there's another % that HAS left because they've decided they want to do other things, live a different way that they'll enjoy more. Unthinkable.

I’m laughing because my husband and I can completely relate!

Totally -- PP was spot-on.

I suppose by most East Asian standards, I'm a failure. I graduated from an HYPS majoring in "useless liberal arts subjects" (English and Psych), and immediately matriculated to another Ivy for law school.

I was instantly horrified when I got to law school and dropped out after 1L. My parents were horrified, disgusted, frustrated, angry, and beyond disappointed -- we didn't talk to each other for about a year and a half after that. And when we did start talking again, it was for very brief, shallow conversations for most of my 20s.

They were horrified and disappointed that they couldn't brag to their friends and family from our East Asian country anymore that I was no longer an Ivy-educated law student. I spent a few years in my 20s after that as an outdoor educator (similar to being an Outward Bound instructor), which is basically unheard of for East Asians. I was the only Asian woman in most of these outdoorsy workplaces.

It all worked out though -- the soft skills I gained from that job led me to gain admission to a fully-funded PhD program, and I'm currently a clinical psychologist making around ~$300k/year. Ironically, many of my patients are 2nd-gen Asian Americans who sought me out specifically because there's a shortage of Asian psychologists.

There is a lot of pain, grief, and dysfunction underneath the seemingly functional and wealthy facades. Many high-achieving 2nd-gen Asian-Americans have a very poor sense of self, and PP is accurate that they have very little clue about their own likes/dislikes and own preferences. Marriages and interpersonal relationships are often strained because lots of tiger cubs aren't able to generously offer intimacy in relationships (although rarely do they divorce -- that's a big no no in the culture).

You are insufferable. Get over yourself.

I disagree. I thought it was a great post. There is a massive need for what this person does. There are too many families using abusive tactics to force their kids onto paths that don't suit them. I come from another ethnic group where this is common and it can cause a lot of damage. Another huge issue that comes up is how some of these systems reject those with special needs and how alienating it can be for families raising a child with sn. The parents did everything their parents wanted and then having the nerve to raise an innocent child with delays makes them all be rejected-no bragging rights.

I am African American. No immigrants ever in family, we have been here since before the nation's founding. But no one cares that I am African American really. I don't even like all other African American people, some I know get on my last nerves! No people group is special. People care if I am kind, humble, a good coworker, and a friend of man. I make $120k.

Here's a great example of a "friend of man".
https://www.lipstickalley.com/threads/maude-e-callen-1898-1990-the-nurse-midwife-who-brought-healthcare-to-thousands-in-the-rural-south.5388235/
Maude E. Callen
Maude E. Callen was born in Quincy, Florida in 1898. She had many siblings and was orphaned at age six. Callan was raised by her uncle, a physician in Florida, and became a devoted nurse. She served as a nurse-midwife in the Lowcountry of South Carolina for more than 60 years.

Callen graduated from Florida A&M College and went on to the Tuskegee Institute for nursing coursework. In 1923, she was called as an Episcopal missionary nurse and set up a practice as a nurse-midwife in poverty-stricken Pineville, South Carolina. At the time, there were only nine nurse-midwives in South Carolina, and in her lifetime she delivered more than 600 babies. She also instructed other women on midwifery in the Pineville community and attended to thousands of patients in the area, most of whom were African American and poor.

In 1936, Callen became a public health nurse with the Berkeley County Health Department. She continued training young black women as midwives and taught them about prenatal care, labor support, delivery and newborn babies. Life magazine published a photo essay of Callen’s work in 1951, and as a result, readers donated thousands of dollars to support her work in Pineville. She used the donations to open the Maude E. Callen Clinic in 1953, which she ran until she retired in 1971.

Even after her retirement, Callen continued to volunteer and managed a nutrition program for senior citizens, which she operated out of the Maude E. Callen Clinic. The program offered cooked meals, home delivery of the meals five days a week and also provided transportation for the elderly. Many of the citizens she served were younger than Callen herself. She was reportedly invited to the White House by President Ronald Reagan, but declined the invitation because of her commitment to her volunteer service.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s clear that you all make good money, like your material things and like to brag.

Since you’re so open about your money can you all share your charitable contributions? I would assume you give back to the people in your countries that still suffer from the countries archaic ways .

Yes I give thousands in scholarships to students in my home country and thousands more to American charities. What do you do?

thousands of rupees?

Dollars, dear. Some years, tens of thousands. Remind me what you do?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Underachiever here - age 43 - 225k as a lawyer at a financial regulator. Did the biglaw thing for 8 years so I guess I made money there, but not the type of money that associates make now and I had no prayer of making partner. Yes I'm plenty Americanized with ivy degrees and all but coming up for partner in 2008 in NYC didn't help - no one was going to stick their neck out for me and my career never recovered. So here I am stuck in government.

you are not an underachiever....

Objectively I get that but it doesn't feel that way when every uncle in town - and to an extent my own parents - are constantly like partner partner partner, you didn't make partner, after all that money your parents spent sending you to the ivys blah blah. They act like the 2008 recession was a personal failing. Sure I guess it was a personal failing to not want to jump to another firm and slog it out for another 5 years to try to make it, but I just didn't have it in me to work the 80-90 hr NYC weeks for that much longer with no guarantees; another thing these uncles - most of whom never worked more than 40.0 hours a day in their lives in engineering do not understand. (I do understand that many many Indian immigrants slogged out much much longer hours, but the ones judging me were all in engineering and all had the 40 hours and I'm checked out by 5 pm lives.)

You need to live your life per what pleases you. Tell your uncles, parents they are no longer in the “old country” where you’re never good enough as a person if you don’t excel professionally. Life really is very temporary, a game of sorts and sadly the legacy Indian culture is blind to this fact. Refreshingly with newer generations, I’m seeing Indian kids become teachers, journalists, firemen, cops, chefs, etc. The fear factor decreases with each generation.

+1000. I frankly wouldn't even tell them anything bc you can't teach a 70 or 80 year old who isn't willing to learn. Just ignore, live your life, enjoy your great salary and benefits while NOT working 90 hours/week.

But listen sometimes about how unhappy some of these 70-80+ year olds in our community really are. They never lived their own lives - it was all about what THEIR mommies and daddies wanted them to do and then they turned around and hovered over their own kids for the next 30 years. I mean it's sad that an entire generation of elders lived life out of obligation, to impress the Patels or the Khans or whomever, and really don't even know themselves, their own likes/dislikes, don't have any hobbies besides counting money - their own and everyone else's. And now all they can do is sit around and gossip about you - because the only way to feel better is to put someone else down.

I'm super proud of our younger generations - the kids who are currently in their 20s. Their 50 year old parents have backed off to an extent - and if they haven't - these 21 year olds have no problem telling mom and dad to shove it, as they get jobs in urban planning, speech therapy, and whatever else they want to do. Sorry auntie and uncle, not everyone dreams of being an engineer, dr, or lawyer.

I completely agree. I have a lot of sympathy because they had to sacrifice everything and never got to live out their own personal dreams, especially the women. So they transport their unfulfilled ambitions on their children and grandchildren. Moreover they are guilty of wanting to impress friends and neighbors with their kids’ accomplishments. Unfortunately, our parents information about work, college and everything else is so outdated and completely wrong. So it just leads to debates IMO.

I have sympathy in a way and then I don't. I get it - tons of sacrifice, providing for the kids, the women were never allowed to have dreams, frankly the men weren't either bc they were living out whatever lives their parents wanted for them. But some of these people are in their 70s-80s now, meaning their own Indian-American kids launched some 20+ years ago. If they could back off of hovering over their kids' and grandkids' lives and still being soooo concerned with what auntie so and so will think of where their grandson is going to college, they could LIVE NOW. Sure no one can turn back the hands of time and pursue a dream profession that you would have pursued at age 25. But you can have hobbies, travel, write, hike, whatever you want; lots of these people have serious money too - so it's not like financially strapped retirees.

But nope instead they'd rather sit in judgment of everyone and debate issues of work, school, which are COMPLETELY different now than they were in 1985. If I have to debate ONE more time with my parents that hybrid work is not going to last and everyone is going back to the office just like they were in 1998, I will scream. First off they've been retired for decades so they don't get what work is like now. Second off - uh hybrid has lasted on the east coast for 3.5 years + the millennials/Zs have NO fears walking away from a job - even a prestige job if it doesn't give them the LIFE they want. My parents want to debate over and over and over again that absolutely NO ONE would ever leave Goldman Sachs or Skadden ever so of course they'll go back to the office and jump on the employer's command. Sure some % would never leave Goldman or Skadden, but there's another % that HAS left because they've decided they want to do other things, live a different way that they'll enjoy more. Unthinkable.

I’m laughing because my husband and I can completely relate!

Totally -- PP was spot-on.

I suppose by most East Asian standards, I'm a failure. I graduated from an HYPS majoring in "useless liberal arts subjects" (English and Psych), and immediately matriculated to another Ivy for law school.

I was instantly horrified when I got to law school and dropped out after 1L. My parents were horrified, disgusted, frustrated, angry, and beyond disappointed -- we didn't talk to each other for about a year and a half after that. And when we did start talking again, it was for very brief, shallow conversations for most of my 20s.

They were horrified and disappointed that they couldn't brag to their friends and family from our East Asian country anymore that I was no longer an Ivy-educated law student. I spent a few years in my 20s after that as an outdoor educator (similar to being an Outward Bound instructor), which is basically unheard of for East Asians. I was the only Asian woman in most of these outdoorsy workplaces.

It all worked out though -- the soft skills I gained from that job led me to gain admission to a fully-funded PhD program, and I'm currently a clinical psychologist making around ~$300k/year. Ironically, many of my patients are 2nd-gen Asian Americans who sought me out specifically because there's a shortage of Asian psychologists.

There is a lot of pain, grief, and dysfunction underneath the seemingly functional and wealthy facades. Many high-achieving 2nd-gen Asian-Americans have a very poor sense of self, and PP is accurate that they have very little clue about their own likes/dislikes and own preferences. Marriages and interpersonal relationships are often strained because lots of tiger cubs aren't able to generously offer intimacy in relationships (although rarely do they divorce -- that's a big no no in the culture).

You are insufferable. Get over yourself.

+1 Especially the last paragraph. Maybe it makes her feel happy to believe every successful Indian-American is emotionally hollow. Sorry, but many of us have supportive parents who love us through good and bad times.

Not speaking to your kid for a year and a half because they dropped out of law school isn't exactly "loving you through good and bad times"

That’s exactly my point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Typical DCUM.

They are not creative, only robots. That’s why they are successful.

They are not charitable, only selfish. That’s why they have money.

The bias and stereotyping from the “hate has no home here yard sign” DCUM cried when it comes to Indians and Asians as a whole never fails.

+1. Liberal tw*ts! (*=a).

Sure, conservatives have no problem with Indians.
As long as they shut up and vote the right way, they are acceptable as the model minority

This is a dumb take. Indian-Americans are among the most heavily Dem-voting groups.

Anonymous wrote:Most south Asians send a lot of money back home and are some of the biggest donors for political candidates and other disaster relief efforts. I’m in the Pakistani American community in Nova and I can tell you every wealthy Pakistani American is an active citizen and a major donor for various causes locally, nationally and internationally as well. A large percentage of the money is sent back home to help extended family members or community and other disaster relief efforts.

Yes, we like nice things and status and wealth but we also believe in giving back.

+1 Indian-American and my parents did not donate a lot to recognized charities here or in India but have donated a ton to their hometowns through people they knew and local orgs.

I am not as connected to India and my donations are mostly in the US or to international orgs. And political.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not Indian, I am Pakistani-American. I make around $400k. I work twice as hard as mg peers, and missed a lot of fun things in my twenties to get here. I would hope my kids have more fun and have a more chill life. It is fun now, however, to walk into the room and be the one in charge, so I guess it’s not all bad!

It’s hard because my fellow South Asians don’t support me because I’m Pakistani or a woman- not sure which. If they are Indian, unless they are a very nice women, they treat me not so great. If they don’t know I’m pakistani they will go on rants against Pakistan. It sucks.

Were your parents in Pakistan in the army, govt or in politics?

No but extended family yes, yes and yes.

Yup, so make sense that you have money, no? I mean there is a reason that Pakistanis in Pakistan are starving as all the money has been stolen by their leaders in army, govt and politics. And the money has been sent abroad along with all their family members. Now, Pakistan is a failed and bankrupt nation.

It is a different story for Indians. Indians have come here on their own academic merit and skills. America needed them to work for them. No one has given charity to Indians. All the money has been earned by Indians on their own by doing hard work and being frugal, and their remittance back to India from around the world, means that India has foreign exchange of $120B in its coffers.

So many levels of stereotyping in this post. Thanks, Uncle, for your armchair nationalism.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not Indian, I am Pakistani-American. I make around $400k. I work twice as hard as mg peers, and missed a lot of fun things in my twenties to get here. I would hope my kids have more fun and have a more chill life. It is fun now, however, to walk into the room and be the one in charge, so I guess it’s not all bad!

It’s hard because my fellow South Asians don’t support me because I’m Pakistani or a woman- not sure which. If they are Indian, unless they are a very nice women, they treat me not so great. If they don’t know I’m pakistani they will go on rants against Pakistan. It sucks.

Were your parents in Pakistan in the army, govt or in politics?

No but extended family yes, yes and yes.

Yup, so make sense that you have money, no? I mean there is a reason that Pakistanis in Pakistan are starving as all the money has been stolen by their leaders in army, govt and politics. And the money has been sent abroad along with all their family members. Now, Pakistan is a failed and bankrupt nation.

It is a different story for Indians. Indians have come here on their own academic merit and skills. America needed them to work for them. No one has given charity to Indians. All the money has been earned by Indians on their own by doing hard work and being frugal, and their remittance back to India from around the world, means that India has foreign exchange of $120B in its coffers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Typical DCUM.

They are not creative, only robots. That’s why they are successful.

They are not charitable, only selfish. That’s why they have money.

The bias and stereotyping from the “hate has no home here yard sign” DCUM cried when it comes to Indians and Asians as a whole never fails.

+1. Liberal tw*ts! (*=a).

Sure, conservatives have no problem with Indians.
As long as they shut up and vote the right way, they are acceptable as the model minority

Indians obviously ignorant of US immigration policy history. If not for the dems, they as$$ would still be living in mud homes with grass roofs and using out houses. Today rich Indians call themselves "conservatives" because that equals more $$ in the pocket.

This crap keeps popping up a lot.. as though we 'owe' something to the dems. We don't. Let me flip the argument on you. The US owes Indian immigrants a lot for its current state of tech innovation. Without us Silicon valley would have stalled and the money and innovation would have happened elsewhere. Indians would have just gone there. See how that works?

It's not about being a conservative or a liberal. Most of us generally support common sense policies. Is the federal govt. bloated, yes? Should we shut down the dept. of education? No. There's always room in the middle and just because that's not liberal enough for your tastes doesn't make us conservatives. Not that we care what you think..

Anyways.. we don't owe you or the conservatives anything. If you don't like Asians coming into the country, my country, change the laws.. if you can.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Typical DCUM.

They are not creative, only robots. That’s why they are successful.

They are not charitable, only selfish. That’s why they have money.

The bias and stereotyping from the “hate has no home here yard sign” DCUM cried when it comes to Indians and Asians as a whole never fails.

+1. Liberal tw*ts! (*=a).

Sure, conservatives have no problem with Indians.
As long as they shut up and vote the right way, they are acceptable as the model minority

They do, but they don't pretend. Not that I give two sh*ts about either extreme groups.