Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 15:58     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I was obsessed with anime when I was a teen. I taught myself how to draw my favorite anime characters. I'm glad my parents didn't take my adolescent interests and assume that they had to be lifelong passions.

At one point, I also said I wanted to be a marine biologist. Today, I have zero interest in anything like working with animals full-time.

You do realize how bad teenagers are at knowing who they are and what they want, right? That's why so many of them change majors multiple times in college. If you treat teens like they are adults, you can enable some pretty poorly thought out decisions that they will regret and then later blame you for.


Please stop minimizing the work and commitment associated with playing an instrument well. It is not the same as spending time as a teenager drawing your favorite anime character on any level. You wouldn't say that if the kid had been playing violin since he was 6. You're just saying it now because you don't think that THIS kind of music is worth investing in.

Teenagers are not actually terrible at knowing what they want. They are learning what they want. They are developing interests. It makes sense that some of those interests would die on the vine, like your love of anime. It also makes sense that some personal interests would never turn into career interests. It is pretty shortsighted to have a blanket assumption that you should not take seriously the interests of teenagers because you don't share them.


My point is treating the adolescent mind and its opinions as gospel is not wise. They are learning what they want, as you yourself said, so they can and will say one thing is their lifelong passion today and completely drop it tomorrow. You can't take everything they say seriously.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 15:56     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I posted a list of 25 notable rock musicians who got degrees. At best, even if college is not necessary, it's not like getting a college degree has stopped anyone from being a rock star. If it's meant to be, it will be.


If it means giving up a spot in a successful band, it can set someone back. Tons of musicians get their start in their late teens/early 20s. That’s a sweet spot.

Why do think so many musicians either didn’t go to college or dropped out?


And so many musicians look back and regret that they didn't educate themselves because they realized they were taken advantage of in the music business because they lacked education.

You guys have to stop selling the myth that dropping out of school or skipping college in pursuit a career in music is peaches and creams. There are risks and tradeoffs to both approaches. You pick your poison and live with the consequences.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 15:55     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I was obsessed with anime when I was a teen. I taught myself how to draw my favorite anime characters. I'm glad my parents didn't take my adolescent interests and assume that they had to be lifelong passions.

At one point, I also said I wanted to be a marine biologist. Today, I have zero interest in anything like working with animals full-time.

You do realize how bad teenagers are at knowing who they are and what they want, right? That's why so many of them change majors multiple times in college. If you treat teens like they are adults, you can enable some pretty poorly thought out decisions that they will regret and then later blame you for.


Please stop minimizing the work and commitment associated with playing an instrument well. It is not the same as spending time as a teenager drawing your favorite anime character on any level. You wouldn't say that if the kid had been playing violin since he was 6. You're just saying it now because you don't think that THIS kind of music is worth investing in.

Teenagers are not actually terrible at knowing what they want. They are learning what they want. They are developing interests. It makes sense that some of those interests would die on the vine, like your love of anime. It also makes sense that some personal interests would never turn into career interests. It is pretty shortsighted to have a blanket assumption that you should not take seriously the interests of teenagers because you don't share them.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 15:54     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I posted a list of 25 notable rock musicians who got degrees. At best, even if college is not necessary, it's not like getting a college degree has stopped anyone from being a rock star. If it's meant to be, it will be.


If you actually read through that list, you’ll see that a good number of those musicians went to college either during or after their bands became successful.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 15:49     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I posted a list of 25 notable rock musicians who got degrees. At best, even if college is not necessary, it's not like getting a college degree has stopped anyone from being a rock star. If it's meant to be, it will be.


If it means giving up a spot in a successful band, it can set someone back. Tons of musicians get their start in their late teens/early 20s. That’s a sweet spot.

Why do think so many musicians either didn’t go to college or dropped out?
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 15:48     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I was obsessed with anime when I was a teen. I taught myself how to draw my favorite anime characters. I'm glad my parents didn't take my adolescent interests and assume that they had to be lifelong passions.

At one point, I also said I wanted to be a marine biologist. Today, I have zero interest in anything like working with animals full-time.

You do realize how bad teenagers are at knowing who they are and what they want, right? That's why so many of them change majors multiple times in college. If you treat teens like they are adults, you can enable some pretty poorly thought out decisions that they will regret and then later blame you for.


Jeez that’s patronizing. Countless musicians and artists knew they wanted to devote their lives to art when they were teenagers.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 15:47     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I posted a list of 25 notable rock musicians who got degrees. At best, even if college is not necessary, it's not like getting a college degree has stopped anyone from being a rock star. If it's meant to be, it will be.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 15:46     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I was obsessed with anime when I was a teen. I taught myself how to draw my favorite anime characters. I'm glad my parents didn't take my adolescent interests and assume that they had to be lifelong passions.

At one point, I also said I wanted to be a marine biologist. Today, I have zero interest in anything like working with animals full-time.

You do realize how bad teenagers are at knowing who they are and what they want, right? That's why so many of them change majors multiple times in college. If you treat teens like they are adults, you can enable some pretty poorly thought out decisions that they will regret and then later blame you for.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 15:44     Subject: My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. He has been taking music lessons at the age of six but he is getting much more serious with music lessons after this summer. He used to practice one hour a day but now it is from 5pm until 11pm everyday and more like 8 hours on Saturday and Sunday. He literally drops homework and sports from the calendar. I am all for supporting him but this is too much. I can threaten to take away his phone and music lessons but he doesn't seem to care.


I would be over the moon if DD discovered that much commitment and passion for something. You've got to support this. That doesn't mean letting everything else slide, but letting him know you understand and appreciate his passion, you're rooting for his success, and establishing the ground rules that ensure he has sufficient balance in his life.


Totally agree.

OP, would he be into something like Bach to Rock or School of Rock? They do lessons and put kids into bands that play covers and originals.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 15:41     Subject: My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He has been taking music lessons at the age of six but he is getting much more serious with music lessons after this summer. He used to practice one hour a day but now it is from 5pm until 11pm everyday and more like 8 hours on Saturday and Sunday. He literally drops homework and sports from the calendar. I am all for supporting him but this is too much. I can threaten to take away his phone and music lessons but he doesn't seem to care.


I would be over the moon if DD discovered that much commitment and passion for something. You've got to support this. That doesn't mean letting everything else slide, but letting him know you understand and appreciate his passion, you're rooting for his success, and establishing the ground rules that ensure he has sufficient balance in his life.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 15:40     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 15:36     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 15:33     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Do you know how much it cost to attend Berklee College of Music? Not everyone has that kind of cash for BCM. Charlie Puth is successful pop musician regardless of BCM. Did you know that John Mayer also attended Berklee and dropped out?


Right. I think that’s what I’ve been trying to say this entire time.

You can point to producers who have training, like George Martin. Then there’s Butch Vig, who has little formal training.

It’s not that it isn’t helpful; it probably is. But it’s so far from necessary.

Also, I wouldn’t give up a spot in a successful touring band, for example, to stay in a degree program. If you do that, then you’re probably hurting your career. The best way for a musician to build their career is to get into a regularly gigging band. That’s how you hone your craft, meet other musicians, and build up your network.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 15:30     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Do you know how much it cost to attend Berklee College of Music? Not everyone has that kind of cash for BCM. Charlie Puth is successful pop musician regardless of BCM. Did you know that John Mayer also attended Berklee and dropped out?
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 15:24     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:OP, here's a helpful list for your DS to counter the narrative in his head that successful musicians don't go to college: https://ultimateclassicrock.com/rock-musicians-college-degrees/


No one said that. We’ve been saying it isn’t necessary, to counter the posters saying he’ll be competing against people with conservatory training.