Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 2 years out. She makes a good salary in an expensive city but lived with DH’s family for free for 18 mos. She had banked enough by then to get started in an apt. without crushing her savings. We bought her a bed and mattress but she and her roommates cobbled together other secondhand furniture. We’ll give gifts but mostly she’s own her own to manage her spending against her salary and learn to live within her means. Life lessons - it’s much better that she learns them now rather than later when the stakes are much higher.

Your child lives with family while in college?????!!!????

Not a great reader huh?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming no college loans to pay and kid is working a low-paying/entry level job in a high rent city like New York or San Francisco, how much do you cover financially? Rent, extras? Thinking ahead and would like to plan.

Why did your kid choose to work a low-paying job in a high rent city?

You mean like working on the hill?

Exactly, my DS would like a Hill job, and knows he'd probably have to live home for a while, but the expereince is worth it. We'll see, he's only a junior.

PSA mom… if he is blessed enough to get job on the hill, he will NOT live at home and you well obviously helping him with rent. Working on the hill is all about connections and they are not made from 9 to 5. They are made after hours and if your child is at home having dinner with mommy and daddy instead of colleagues he might as well Just not have a job on the hill.

Huh? Living with mom and a dad doesn’t mean having dinner with mom and dad every night. In fact if they are saving on rent money they can better afford dinners out and happy hour. When I was in my early twenties it was extremely common for recent grads working on the hill to live with parents or extended family.

This was my experience too. It’s a gift to have family in or close to a big urban center where you can get a job. If you are not making a lot of money after college living at home for six months to two years to save is an amazing gift. You don’t need to eat dinner with your parents every night. They probably want some space too.

$1000 graduations gift and allow them to stay on cell phone plan. Healthcare plan until they get it through their own job. Help out with grad school tuition if there is a clear path to financial independence after grad school. That’s what my parents did and now we are all home owners in high COL area with good jobs.

I’ve seen too many examples of young adults unable to live within their own means after parents financed them. My cousins who went to excellent universities but chased impractical careers in their 20s while parents were financing. Now one is a SAHM but seems resentful about it, the other is in grad school in her late 30s. My SIL who has a prestigious job but can’t cover her expenses in an expensive city so parents are helping out even though she’s married with kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming no college loans to pay and kid is working a low-paying/entry level job in a high rent city like New York or San Francisco, how much do you cover financially? Rent, extras? Thinking ahead and would like to plan.

Why did your kid choose to work a low-paying job in a high rent city?

You mean like working on the hill?

Exactly, my DS would like a Hill job, and knows he'd probably have to live home for a while, but the expereince is worth it. We'll see, he's only a junior.

PSA mom… if he is blessed enough to get job on the hill, he will NOT live at home and you well obviously helping him with rent. Working on the hill is all about connections and they are not made from 9 to 5. They are made after hours and if your child is at home having dinner with mommy and daddy instead of colleagues he might as well Just not have a job on the hill.

Huh? Living with mom and a dad doesn’t mean having dinner with mom and dad every night. In fact if they are saving on rent money they can better afford dinners out and happy hour. When I was in my early twenties it was extremely common for recent grads working on the hill to live with parents or extended family.

$0, but be available to help with a security deposit or other large up front expense for the first year or two.

Zero - it is time for them to be an adult.

Anonymous wrote:How many of the “zero support/generational wealth” people here also finance the kids first house down payment and the grandkids private schools?

Once your YOUNG ADULT (not kid) demonstrates fiscal responsibility and has the ability to generate their own wealth, the game changes again. I'm a "zero" support parent who will help my grandkids, but not until my kids have demonstrated responsibility. The studies show if your adult children are in their mid-late 30s extra money won't significantly change their lifestyle, because by then it's been established. Coincidentally this is also when the grandkids will start school. So, yes, I'll help get them to a good neighborhood and help support private school. These things are aligned with my core values. I would also help with tutoring, medical care, or therapy if my grandkids needed it. Providing some lifestyle crutch for a grown adult starting their life is not high on my list of priorities. Their trust funds kick in at 37 for a reason.

Anonymous wrote:Just had a convo about this last night as our rising college senior accepted a job offer in another city. He worked for same firm in a different city this summer and saved about $8k. We decided to tell him to save that as he will need it for rent deposits when relocating. He’ll also need to pay personal expenses out of his summer earnings. He also has use of a car as he is living off campus now, but we get that back in June before he relocates.

So you bankrolled him so he could save money so I could appear like he’s supporting himself after college.

You get that’s no different than just supporting him after college.

Anonymous wrote:DD is 2 years out. She makes a good salary in an expensive city but lived with DH’s family for free for 18 mos. She had banked enough by then to get started in an apt. without crushing her savings. We bought her a bed and mattress but she and her roommates cobbled together other secondhand furniture. We’ll give gifts but mostly she’s own her own to manage her spending against her salary and learn to live within her means. Life lessons - it’s much better that she learns them now rather than later when the stakes are much higher.

Your child lives with family while in college?????!!!????

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming no college loans to pay and kid is working a low-paying/entry level job in a high rent city like New York or San Francisco, how much do you cover financially? Rent, extras? Thinking ahead and would like to plan.

Why did your kid choose to work a low-paying job in a high rent city?

You mean like working on the hill?

Exactly, my DS would like a Hill job, and knows he'd probably have to live home for a while, but the expereince is worth it. We'll see, he's only a junior.

PSA mom… if he is blessed enough to get job on the hill, he will NOT live at home and you well obviously helping him with rent. Working on the hill is all about connections and they are not made from 9 to 5. They are made after hours and if your child is at home having dinner with mommy and daddy instead of colleagues he might as well Just not have a job on the hill.

DD is 2 years out. She makes a good salary in an expensive city but lived with DH’s family for free for 18 mos. She had banked enough by then to get started in an apt. without crushing her savings. We bought her a bed and mattress but she and her roommates cobbled together other secondhand furniture. We’ll give gifts but mostly she’s own her own to manage her spending against her salary and learn to live within her means. Life lessons - it’s much better that she learns them now rather than later when the stakes are much higher.

Just had a convo about this last night as our rising college senior accepted a job offer in another city. He worked for same firm in a different city this summer and saved about $8k. We decided to tell him to save that as he will need it for rent deposits when relocating. He’ll also need to pay personal expenses out of his summer earnings. He also has use of a car as he is living off campus now, but we get that back in June before he relocates.

How many of the “zero support/generational wealth” people here also finance the kids first house down payment and the grandkids private schools?

Anonymous wrote:Assuming no college loans to pay and kid is working a low-paying/entry level job in a high rent city like New York or San Francisco, how much do you cover financially? Rent, extras? Thinking ahead and would like to plan.

NOTHING!! He has no student loans and chose his field of study. Are you going to join the large number of retirees who are in debt? Don’t do it!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming no college loans to pay and kid is working a low-paying/entry level job in a high rent city like New York or San Francisco, how much do you cover financially? Rent, extras? Thinking ahead and would like to plan.

Why did your kid choose to work a low-paying job in a high rent city?

“Assuming” implies it’s a hypothetical.