Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My self described “fashionista” 11yo rising 6th grader who attends a private school in NYC is currently very into crocs (as are all her friends), lululemon (but only the jackets and belt bag, no point in spending $$$$ on the other stuff), athleta and has recently gotten into “thrifting” thanks to her older sister. Just visited her at camp and every single kid there was wearing crocs. She also has Nikes (AF1 and Blazers) and Stan smiths for school. Sneakers are pretty much the only shoes tween girls wear now other than crocs and maybe flip flops in summer.

Dd is (to my dismay because I was the other end of the spectrum and I always worry about the mean girls aspect of the popular crew) quite popular and apparently known for her style among her friends who often ask to borrow her clothes.

Much more important than the clothes I think is the attitude. My kid (just this one, the older and younger are not at all like this) oozes self confidence and I think that makes others think she is cooler than she is. She’s also really kind and friendly and generally takes a more the merrier stance with friends so I’m not too worried about her being mean. We talk a lot about kindness and inclusion and how clothing and appearance are not actually important even though they seem to be. It can definitely be tough being a “new kid” but it sounds like lots of kids are coming from different schools and meeting up in a new school so your dd isn’t the only new person.

Help build up her confidence - model conversations, discuss how to handle particular situations, answer her questions about how to navigate middle school etc. Help her choose and outfit she feels great in to wear on the first day. If she’s due for a haircut or other regular grooming needs make sure those are taken care of right before school because as much as we’d all like to think otherwise, appearance makes the biggest first impression.

Fashionistas in NYC don’t wear crocs, if she’s wearing crocs she’s following the crowd. Lululemon is also following the crowd especially now that the 10 year olds wear it. It is ubiquitous and once something is ubiquitous fashionistas donate it. Same with Nikes. They are mainstream basic. Nothing wrong with that but it sounds like your daughter is one of the crowd. Again, nothing wrong with that.

Anonymous wrote:My self described “fashionista” 11yo rising 6th grader who attends a private school in NYC is currently very into crocs (as are all her friends), lululemon (but only the jackets and belt bag, no point in spending $$$$ on the other stuff), athleta and has recently gotten into “thrifting” thanks to her older sister. Just visited her at camp and every single kid there was wearing crocs. She also has Nikes (AF1 and Blazers) and Stan smiths for school. Sneakers are pretty much the only shoes tween girls wear now other than crocs and maybe flip flops in summer.

Dd is (to my dismay because I was the other end of the spectrum and I always worry about the mean girls aspect of the popular crew) quite popular and apparently known for her style among her friends who often ask to borrow her clothes.

Much more important than the clothes I think is the attitude. My kid (just this one, the older and younger are not at all like this) oozes self confidence and I think that makes others think she is cooler than she is. She’s also really kind and friendly and generally takes a more the merrier stance with friends so I’m not too worried about her being mean. We talk a lot about kindness and inclusion and how clothing and appearance are not actually important even though they seem to be. It can definitely be tough being a “new kid” but it sounds like lots of kids are coming from different schools and meeting up in a new school so your dd isn’t the only new person.

Help build up her confidence - model conversations, discuss how to handle particular situations, answer her questions about how to navigate middle school etc. Help her choose and outfit she feels great in to wear on the first day. If she’s due for a haircut or other regular grooming needs make sure those are taken care of right before school because as much as we’d all like to think otherwise, appearance makes the biggest first impression.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My private school girls wear uniforms to school, so it's mostly athletic clothes outside school. She likes lululemon, fat pants, aviators nation, etc. For cotillion she likes Loveshack Fancy - she only has a few pieces of this because it's expensive. I get her other clothes at Neiman Marcus or Nordstrom. Some girls have Golden Goose shoes (also too expensive); my daughter has Air Jordan's, Converse, and Havanas.

As PP said it depends on the school. These brands are one end of a spectrum.

Google isn’t helping - what are fat pants (in the middle school context haha)?

Anonymous wrote:My self described “fashionista” 11yo rising 6th grader who attends a private school in NYC is currently very into crocs (as are all her friends), lululemon (but only the jackets and belt bag, no point in spending $$$$ on the other stuff), athleta and has recently gotten into “thrifting” thanks to her older sister. Just visited her at camp and every single kid there was wearing crocs. She also has Nikes (AF1 and Blazers) and Stan smiths for school. Sneakers are pretty much the only shoes tween girls wear now other than crocs and maybe flip flops in summer.

Dd is (to my dismay because I was the other end of the spectrum and I always worry about the mean girls aspect of the popular crew) quite popular and apparently known for her style among her friends who often ask to borrow her clothes.

Much more important than the clothes I think is the attitude. My kid (just this one, the older and younger are not at all like this) oozes self confidence and I think that makes others think she is cooler than she is. She’s also really kind and friendly and generally takes a more the merrier stance with friends so I’m not too worried about her being mean. We talk a lot about kindness and inclusion and how clothing and appearance are not actually important even though they seem to be. It can definitely be tough being a “new kid” but it sounds like lots of kids are coming from different schools and meeting up in a new school so your dd isn’t the only new person.

Help build up her confidence - model conversations, discuss how to handle particular situations, answer her questions about how to navigate middle school etc. Help her choose and outfit she feels great in to wear on the first day. If she’s due for a haircut or other regular grooming needs make sure those are taken care of right before school because as much as we’d all like to think otherwise, appearance makes the biggest first impression.

Anonymous wrote:Agree that depending on area kids don't care as much about brands as when we were kids (this is less true of kids I know in wealthier private schools).

FYI Brandy Melville has a "one size" approach. They claim to fit a range of folks, but go in their stores and you'll see a bunch of cute little tops that wouldn't fit a girl who is a size 12. It seems so outdated to embrace a "you have to be a certain size to wear our clothes" mentality. Yuck. So we don't buy that brand.

Anonymous wrote:Agree that depending on area kids don't care as much about brands as when we were kids (this is less true of kids I know in wealthier private schools).

FYI Brandy Melville has a "one size" approach. They claim to fit a range of folks, but go in their stores and you'll see a bunch of cute little tops that wouldn't fit a girl who is a size 12. It seems so outdated to embrace a "you have to be a certain size to wear our clothes" mentality. Yuck. So we don't buy that brand.

Anonymous wrote:Agree that depending on area kids don't care as much about brands as when we were kids (this is less true of kids I know in wealthier private schools).

FYI Brandy Melville has a "one size" approach. They claim to fit a range of folks, but go in their stores and you'll see a bunch of cute little tops that wouldn't fit a girl who is a size 12. It seems so outdated to embrace a "you have to be a certain size to wear our clothes" mentality. Yuck. So we don't buy that brand.

Anonymous wrote:Golden goose are ridiculously trashed out and pretentious. $700 on worn tennis shoes. No.