Anonymous wrote:We had to quit swim over this. There was logistically no way for me to be present at meets.

I’m sorry that happened for you. There are families on our team who have similar situations - like an infant/newly walking toddler + a husband who has a medical / first responder job that often requires weekend and Monday night absences. On our team, parents would give you a pass for 1-2 years, with the assumption that you would step in and volunteer once your hands were not so full or that you’d find a way to do what you could, even if that is working 1-2 meets all season.

It took us a few years of swim team to learn that not all jobs are posted for sign-up and not all jobs are jobs you can see. My first clue was when my husband started getting direct texts from the team rep the morning before signups opened asking if he would do specific table worker / data entry jobs. My second clue was when I was able to sign up for volunteer check-in, a job that is rarely available, and I am guessing is usually filled in advance of public sign-up. On the printed list from the system were all kinds of jobs I’ve never seen on the public sign-up - setting up the pool the night before a home A meet, going to Costco to get things for concessions, cleaning up after the meet. I’m not saying there are zero freeloaders, just that some people I thought were not volunteering are doing things out of sight that I didn’t know about.

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Anonymous wrote:We had to quit swim over this. There was logistically no way for me to be present at meets.

It’s too bad but the meets can’t run without volunteers. There were probably other things you could have done, but it’s too late now. Why was there no way for you to volunteer on Monday nights?

No backup childcare.

Why couldn't you bring your other kids to the meets?

Because someone would need to watch them closely/physically carry them etc while I volunteer.

But if you went to the meets, and met the other parents, they'd join you in problem solving that. There are jobs that work fine with younger kids. They might not be jobs at the pool during a meet, although there are some that do, but there are solutions.

Our team only needs physical volunteers during the meets. It just doesn’t work with very young kids in the mix and no extra childcare.

I am a person in charge. I don’t believe if you asked that they wouldn’t work it out.

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Anonymous wrote:We had to quit swim over this. There was logistically no way for me to be present at meets.

It’s too bad but the meets can’t run without volunteers. There were probably other things you could have done, but it’s too late now. Why was there no way for you to volunteer on Monday nights?

No backup childcare.

Why couldn't you bring your other kids to the meets?

Because someone would need to watch them closely/physically carry them etc while I volunteer.

But if you went to the meets, and met the other parents, they'd join you in problem solving that. There are jobs that work fine with younger kids. They might not be jobs at the pool during a meet, although there are some that do, but there are solutions.

Our team only needs physical volunteers during the meets. It just doesn’t work with very young kids in the mix and no extra childcare.

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Anonymous wrote:We had to quit swim over this. There was logistically no way for me to be present at meets.

It’s too bad but the meets can’t run without volunteers. There were probably other things you could have done, but it’s too late now. Why was there no way for you to volunteer on Monday nights?

No backup childcare.

Why couldn't you bring your other kids to the meets?

Because someone would need to watch them closely/physically carry them etc while I volunteer.

But if you went to the meets, and met the other parents, they'd join you in problem solving that. There are jobs that work fine with younger kids. They might not be jobs at the pool during a meet, although there are some that do, but there are solutions.

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Anonymous wrote:How do you know they aren't? I do things that no one knows I do.

What kinds of things? I know some jobs are not necessarily visible (ie bringing snacks for the timers/officials), but most really are obvious to the rest of the team.

DP, here. I did the shopping for the concession stand each week. It was a lot of stuff, mostly bought at Costco, but I sometimes had to hit one or two other stores. I took it to the pool house, put everything away and got the food, drinks and supplies staged and ready for the meets.

It was a few hours each week, but since I was mostly alone while doing this job, another parent may never have known I was doing it. But they all enjoyed their sodas and hamburgers fresh off the grill.

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Anonymous wrote:We had to quit swim over this. There was logistically no way for me to be present at meets.

It’s too bad but the meets can’t run without volunteers. There were probably other things you could have done, but it’s too late now. Why was there no way for you to volunteer on Monday nights?

No backup childcare.

Why couldn't you bring your other kids to the meets?

Because someone would need to watch them closely/physically carry them etc while I volunteer.

Just be a problem solver. “I don’t have childcare but I can do my volunteer work from home or with my young child. Do you need help with data? Ribbons? Planning pep rallies? Planning restaurant nights? Helping with sponsorships? Anything else behind the scenes that I don’t know about that?”

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Anonymous wrote:We had to quit swim over this. There was logistically no way for me to be present at meets.

It’s too bad but the meets can’t run without volunteers. There were probably other things you could have done, but it’s too late now. Why was there no way for you to volunteer on Monday nights?

No backup childcare.

Why couldn't you bring your other kids to the meets?

Because someone would need to watch them closely/physically carry them etc while I volunteer.

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Anonymous wrote:We had to quit swim over this. There was logistically no way for me to be present at meets.

It’s too bad but the meets can’t run without volunteers. There were probably other things you could have done, but it’s too late now. Why was there no way for you to volunteer on Monday nights?

No backup childcare.

Why couldn't you bring your other kids to the meets?

Anonymous wrote:We had to quit swim over this. There was logistically no way for me to be present at meets.

How would your kid have gotten to meets?

Our team has lots of ways to support a family so they can participate if their schedule is complicated. We can problem solve, but we need families to reach out from a place of "we know this is responsibility, how can we meet it?"

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Anonymous wrote:We had to quit swim over this. There was logistically no way for me to be present at meets.

It’s too bad but the meets can’t run without volunteers. There were probably other things you could have done, but it’s too late now. Why was there no way for you to volunteer on Monday nights?

No backup childcare.

Anonymous wrote:We had to quit swim over this. There was logistically no way for me to be present at meets.

You could contact people and find out what else you do. Next time.

Anonymous wrote:We had to quit swim over this. There was logistically no way for me to be present at meets.

It’s too bad but the meets can’t run without volunteers. There were probably other things you could have done, but it’s too late now. Why was there no way for you to volunteer on Monday nights?

We had to quit swim over this. There was logistically no way for me to be present at meets.

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Anonymous wrote:Swimming comes across as so elitist. The expensive pay-to-play model is bad enough but then you have forced volunteering or an expensive payout? I can't see how my mom would have been able to handle that. I'm now married to a successful college swimmer and it is funny that she is the one who isn't interested in being involved in the toxic competitive swim culture.

Most summer swim families are middle class. If you think the middle class is elitist, OK.

Middle class do not belong to private pools.

It’s 2023 not 1960. It’s not elitist to join a community pool. It’s more elitist to have your own pool.

Yes, but real middle class cannot afford $700-1K or living in an HOA community. Be real. They go swim at the county pools.

Are you from the DMV area?

Median household income is around $130,000 for Fairfax county which has most of the pools in the NVSL. They can afford $600-700 membership fee.

Yes and $130k is not exactly middle class.

So most people are not middle classes here?

The bottom line is we live in Fairfax County and join a community pool that is the closest pool to our house. There’s no waitlist. I guess one can consider the entire county elitist if they want but as it stands this is where I live and I’m not planning to move.

Just because you don’t want to spend $600-700 to join a pool with summer swim team doesn’t make others who want their kids to experience summer swim team elitists