Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 10:12     Subject: Re:Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t have experience with this particular one, but here’s an example of a company that will preserve her wedding bouquet in the form of pressed flowers. It’s artwork that will be personal to her, it’s a wedding memento, and if she likes gardening, presumably she’d like looking at flowers.

https://pressedfloral.com/collections/custom-products



Except what if she does what a lot of brides do, which is to say:
1) Make a presentation of it to the last couple standing in the “how long have you been married” dance
2) Present it to a grandmother
3) Do a bouquet toss
4) (What I did) take it and other flowers to a local nursing home

Honestly, don’t take that choice away from a bride by saddling her with a gift. What is so bad about talking to someone to ask what they would want?

Plus, I love fresh flowers and I detest tacky, old-fashioned dried flower “arrangements.” Miss Havisham vibes.

You’re a real drama queen.


Not more dramatic than overriding someone’s wishes on what to do with their own bouquet.

But no one suggested doing something that absurd. You obviously don’t d this if the bride has other plans for her bouquet or doesn’t want it pressed. This obviously isn’t the kind of thing you do without buy in from the bride. Were you picturing OP snatching the bouquet as soon as the bride set it down?


MIL seems to be allergic to talking to DIL about her preferences. I could see it being like surprise! It’s two months before the wedding but I paid for this service so you will need to give me your bouquet.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 10:12     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
I like the luggage idea too.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 10:08     Subject: Re:Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t have experience with this particular one, but here’s an example of a company that will preserve her wedding bouquet in the form of pressed flowers. It’s artwork that will be personal to her, it’s a wedding memento, and if she likes gardening, presumably she’d like looking at flowers.

https://pressedfloral.com/collections/custom-products



Except what if she does what a lot of brides do, which is to say:
1) Make a presentation of it to the last couple standing in the “how long have you been married” dance
2) Present it to a grandmother
3) Do a bouquet toss
4) (What I did) take it and other flowers to a local nursing home

Honestly, don’t take that choice away from a bride by saddling her with a gift. What is so bad about talking to someone to ask what they would want?

Plus, I love fresh flowers and I detest tacky, old-fashioned dried flower “arrangements.” Miss Havisham vibes.

You’re a real drama queen.


Not more dramatic than overriding someone’s wishes on what to do with their own bouquet.

But no one suggested doing something that absurd. You obviously don’t d this if the bride has other plans for her bouquet or doesn’t want it pressed. This obviously isn’t the kind of thing you do without buy in from the bride. Were you picturing OP snatching the bouquet as soon as the bride set it down?
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 10:05     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
What do you mean she doesn’t wear jewelry? Are her ears pierced? If so, then she wears jewelry. Why not buy diamond studs or pearl studs? Doesn’t every woman need at least one set of nice earrings for dressy occasions?
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 10:04     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
I am Gen x-- between Boomer and Gen y. And I would just say... so much of the boomer crystal, gold, etc. -- it's just not going to land with people in their 20s and early 30s. Iwas about to say also that you could get her a pair of diamond studs, but that's $$, and then maybe a pair of quality pearl studs - and think about my own MIL would would think that a pair of $20 were the same as $200 and expect me to LOVE them. I know i sound like a snob.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 10:01     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Anonymous wrote:I think she would love some beautiful crystal or decorative items for the home. They would be treasured - I always give them as gifts and the recipients love them!

This is super old fashioned, sorry.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 09:59     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Clearly gift giving is tricky and people value different things. Taste in art changes as their home changes, time for hobbies change. Don't stress out about a perfect gift. It could just be an experience like a massage before the wedding. Something not too big but meaningful as their home and family changes, like that Christmas ornament (or a mezuzah etc).

Just be a good human being and treat her well. That's the best gift any MIL can give.

Op I think you are putting too much stress on a gift. For me personally, there is very little physical stuff I value. My generation just doesn’t do china, or jewelry, engraving or heirloom type stuff. Art is terrible because if she doesn’t like it, she’s stuck with it on her wall forever and it will possibly cause resentment. I would prefer a heartfealt card or an experience. Could you offer to pay for the honeymoon or a weekend away together?

I don’t want you to set yourself up for a bad reaction and many of these gift suggestions won’t get the reaction you are going for. My MIL made us a cross stitched thing with our wedding date and framed it. It became a huge source of resentment because I didn’t react big enough and then she would complain we didn’t hang it front and center when she came to visit. Really, it was about her and not anything I would like.


Weird, me too. Finally I got it reframed (it's no longer guilded) so it doesnt look quite as grandmothery.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 09:57     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Anonymous wrote:Vitamix or Blendtec blender
Nice luggage set


+1
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 09:56     Subject: Re:Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Anonymous wrote:a beautiful vase (crystal? or whatever you think suits her style)
a really nice set of wind chimes
a gift certificate for them to pick out something for their yard that will grow for years (tree, rosebush, etc.)

I’d recommend against a painting. I’m sure you have excellent taste, but even so, art is intensely personal. and they may prefer other styles. A painting is designed to be displayed and draws the eye. If they don’t happen to care for it, they’ll still be looking at it for years.


I like this. So many of the other things are so both 1) public (meaning, the if the daughter in law doesn't like it -- for instance, I would NOT have liked a Chanel purse, the mother in law will know -- or the daughter in law will feel obliged to use it) 2) personal.
One thing NOT to do is something with their new, common last name unless you are 10000% sure she is changing her name upon marriage. (Ask me how I know. And it was clear I wasn't.)
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 09:56     Subject: Re:Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The only good answer in this thread is the tree. But don't pick the tree out for this woman, let them pick it out.

I think a tree is great if they are in a forever house. A newly married couple likely isn't in their forever home.


There is no such thing as a forever home. Live in the moment.

then why do you think a tree is such a great gift? MIL wants them to treasure it. Not the next homeowner.


It’s almost as if MIL should talk to DIL or the son to ask what would be a welcome gift.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 09:56     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
I think she would love some beautiful crystal or decorative items for the home. They would be treasured - I always give them as gifts and the recipients love them!
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 09:54     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
I didn't get a gift from my inlaws, but they did write me a very sweet note. However, they wrote in it that they wanted me to call them mom and dad, which was hard for me and I didn't want to. That note made for a lot of awkwardness for a decade until I had kids. Now I just call them grandma and grandpa and can avoid any other name.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 09:54     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Vitamix or Blendtec blender
Nice luggage set
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 09:53     Subject: Re:Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would consider an expensive serving bowl, Tiffany maybe. If they hate it, they can put it away and never look at it.

this is about the least personal gift you can give. people don't do expensive dinnerware anymore.


And this would be the one thing on this thread I would enjoy. I like to cook and entertain, and get joy out of having and using dishes that were given to me by someone special or bought somewhere special. And I don't have to have it on display all the time.if it's not my taste.

That's why this thread is ridiculous. There is no answer.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 09:52     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
I would go with a transitional or contemporary limited-edition-type vase. Something that is sculptural but also functional. Since she likes gardening that reflects the garden theme. But it's also something that lasts and is always useful, plus can be quite expensive if nice and unique enough.