“Agree. Me getting black coffee doesn’t entitle my kids to a milk shake and chocolate croissant.”

So you’re doing a coffee run or first drink of the morning run, then that’s the parameter of the experience or expenditure that you as the adult is setting. So then it’s okay to say we’re not getting breakfast or food or treats or sweeten drinks. It’s not okay to say that I get a coffee and you don’t (if the kids drink coffee, which mine did as early teens).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never go to an establishment and buy something for myself and not allow my kids to get something, too. It works for us and if your way works for you, that's cool.

+1

We had a nanny who would do this regularly. Once we found out about it, we fired her on the spot - and it wasn't even Starbucks.

I think it is selfish (Starbucks or not) OP. Since you asked.

Your poor nanny. “Fired her on the spot” for not buying your child and unnecessary treat every time she tries to make her day infinitesimally better by getting herself something. I’m guessing you also taught your child that respecting their nanny is optional.

NP. Regularly purchasing something to eat or drink, and not offering the person with you some is really rude. And yes, it’s rude even if it’s your child. Or the child you nanny for.

If I stop at Starbucks for a drink (or anywhere else), and my kids are with me, I absolutely ask them if they want something. And yes, if I am at the grocery store, and my kids happen to be with me, I ask if they want to pick something out.

For the people saying no, if your spouse or friend was in the car, would you offer them something?

If you happened to be out with your kids and their nanny, would you treat the nanny to something?

DP here, but of course. This doesn't even seem like a question. I mean, I can sort of understand the debate for the kids, but for a nanny? Yes, without hesitation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never go to an establishment and buy something for myself and not allow my kids to get something, too. It works for us and if your way works for you, that's cool.

+1

We had a nanny who would do this regularly. Once we found out about it, we fired her on the spot - and it wasn't even Starbucks.

I think it is selfish (Starbucks or not) OP. Since you asked.

Your poor nanny. “Fired her on the spot” for not buying your child and unnecessary treat every time she tries to make her day infinitesimally better by getting herself something. I’m guessing you also taught your child that respecting their nanny is optional.

NP. Regularly purchasing something to eat or drink, and not offering the person with you some is really rude. And yes, it’s rude even if it’s your child. Or the child you nanny for.

If I stop at Starbucks for a drink (or anywhere else), and my kids are with me, I absolutely ask them if they want something. And yes, if I am at the grocery store, and my kids happen to be with me, I ask if they want to pick something out.

For the people saying no, if your spouse or friend was in the car, would you offer them something?

If you happened to be out with your kids and their nanny, would you treat the nanny to something?

If I was getting something utilitarian like a drip coffee to start the day, I wouldn't necessarily get my kids something because coffee is for adults.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never go to an establishment and buy something for myself and not allow my kids to get something, too. It works for us and if your way works for you, that's cool.

+1

We had a nanny who would do this regularly. Once we found out about it, we fired her on the spot - and it wasn't even Starbucks.

I think it is selfish (Starbucks or not) OP. Since you asked.

Your poor nanny. “Fired her on the spot” for not buying your child and unnecessary treat every time she tries to make her day infinitesimally better by getting herself something. I’m guessing you also taught your child that respecting their nanny is optional.

My nanny used to walk my kids to Subway where she liked to get lunch sandwiches. I am very glad she didn't treat them to sandwiches, too! Same if she went to Starbucks. Some things are for adults.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never go to an establishment and buy something for myself and not allow my kids to get something, too. It works for us and if your way works for you, that's cool.

+1

We had a nanny who would do this regularly. Once we found out about it, we fired her on the spot - and it wasn't even Starbucks.

I think it is selfish (Starbucks or not) OP. Since you asked.

Your poor nanny. “Fired her on the spot” for not buying your child and unnecessary treat every time she tries to make her day infinitesimally better by getting herself something. I’m guessing you also taught your child that respecting their nanny is optional.

NP. Regularly purchasing something to eat or drink, and not offering the person with you some is really rude. And yes, it’s rude even if it’s your child. Or the child you nanny for.

If I stop at Starbucks for a drink (or anywhere else), and my kids are with me, I absolutely ask them if they want something. And yes, if I am at the grocery store, and my kids happen to be with me, I ask if they want to pick something out.

For the people saying no, if your spouse or friend was in the car, would you offer them something?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I would never order food or drink for myself without ordering something for my kids. That's horrifyingly rude.

This.

And unloving

Unloving!!!! No Starbucks for you is unloving now. No wonder you all can’t afford college and your homes on your 500k salaries. Your children run the show!

It is unloving. You can make coffee at home if you’re in a tight budget.

It’s a very American thing unfortunately to treat yourself in front of your kids and don’t treat them. Look at kids menus, always loaded with garbage offerings. Parents eating crabs, kids eating frozen chicken strips.

I think you're criticizing the wrong thing. Most American kids WANT stuff off the kids' menu, because their palates are atrocious and their parents haven't really tried to expand their tastes beyond chicken nuggets and pizza. They don't want crab and wouldn't eat it if offered to them. It's not that the parents are cheap about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never go to an establishment and buy something for myself and not allow my kids to get something, too. It works for us and if your way works for you, that's cool.

+1

We had a nanny who would do this regularly. Once we found out about it, we fired her on the spot - and it wasn't even Starbucks.

I think it is selfish (Starbucks or not) OP. Since you asked.

Your poor nanny. “Fired her on the spot” for not buying your child and unnecessary treat every time she tries to make her day infinitesimally better by getting herself something. I’m guessing you also taught your child that respecting their nanny is optional.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Starbucks is a treat because it's not a necessity (like groceries, or meals at mealtime). I would get my kid something at Starbucks but I might put parameters on it. Like maybe they can get a small tea but not a XXL milkshake.

It’s a necessity if I’m out and didn’t have time to make coffee this am.

I’m getting coffee. No your not getting anything.

Agree. Me getting black coffee doesn’t entitle my kids to a milk shake and chocolate croissant

Anonymous wrote:So for all the “omg it’s so rude” people, if you need to shop for an item of clothing, and need to bring your kid along, do you automatically purchase them an item of clothing as well?

That’s totally different though. Let’s not use the Starbucks example. Let’s use ice cream. If I’m going to the ice cream shop and getting myself an ice cream, I will get some for my kids. I think it is weird not to get them something. If I go to any food shop, I will get my kids some thing.

To me, those are treats. I’m the pumpkin spice latte poster from a couple of pages ago so to me, Starbucks is a treat for everyone.

If I’m going to target to buy myself a pack of underwear, I don’t feel like I will need to buy my kids some too. They’re just not the same thing.

But if I was a daily Starbucks customer buying myself a regular cup of coffee and my kids came along with me, then I don’t think that would be rude or weird not to buy them something. In my opinion, and in my life, it’s a treat versus not a treat situation.

Telling your kid you are an addict isn’t a good message.

Anonymous wrote:There seems to be a divide between parents who think getting themselves coffee at Starbucks is not a treat and those who think it is a treat, and therefore kids should be treated as well.

If we go to the grocery store, I don't get my kids anything special on a regular basis, because that's not a treat, it's just groceries.

If we go to Chik fila, I get the kids what they want; that is a treat meal. Some people are treating Starbucks as the grocery store and others are treating it like CFA.

To me, the difference isn't so much about what's necessary, as it is about where you're eating it. If I go out to eat or drink, and I bring someone with me, they eat or drink too.

If I'm buying something, whether it's a treat or not, and bringing it home, and I already have something for my kids to have at home, then that's fine. I just don't ask them not to eat or drink when I'm eating or drinking.

So, to answer the liquor store question above. If you are going to the liquor store and opening the bottle and guzzling it right there? You have a problem, whether or not you buy something for your kids. But if you buy it and take it home, and when you servie it for dinner you let your kids get a nonalcoholic drink of some kind that you already have at home? Totally fine.

If I went to Starbucks and bought coffee beans? I wouldn't feel the need to buy something for them.

Anonymous wrote:Starbucks is a treat because it's not a necessity (like groceries, or meals at mealtime). I would get my kid something at Starbucks but I might put parameters on it. Like maybe they can get a small tea but not a XXL milkshake.

It’s a necessity if I’m out and didn’t have time to make coffee this am.

I’m getting coffee. No your not getting anything.

Starbucks is a treat because it's not a necessity (like groceries, or meals at mealtime). I would get my kid something at Starbucks but I might put parameters on it. Like maybe they can get a small tea but not a XXL milkshake.

There seems to be a divide between parents who think getting themselves coffee at Starbucks is not a treat and those who think it is a treat, and therefore kids should be treated as well.

If we go to the grocery store, I don't get my kids anything special on a regular basis, because that's not a treat, it's just groceries.

If we go to Chik fila, I get the kids what they want; that is a treat meal. Some people are treating Starbucks as the grocery store and others are treating it like CFA.