Anonymous wrote:
My 12th grader had an IEP from K to 11th grade. Now he has a 504.

He was born a micro-preemie, had to endure hundreds of hours of physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy, to learn to chew and swallow, hold items in his hands, walk and talk. He has severe ADHD, high-functioning autism, OCD, abysmally low processing speed, and has terrible fine and gross motor skills. He cannot drive safely, despite many hours of lessons, because he has little spatial awareness and a slow reaction time. And on top of that, he has anaphylactic allergies, asthma, sleep apnea and other medical issues.

And he is graduating high school next month! He is going to college! None of this would have been possible without 18 years of therapeutical interventions, medical treatments, school services and accommodations! His slow processing speed, autism and severe ADHD will handicap him for life. He will have a hard time finding and keeping jobs.

THIS is the sort of kid who gets an IEP. You wouldn't diagnose my son with all of these issues if you met him casually: he can look you in the eye briefly and say hi. Do you really think that your child, who has successfully gone through several years of school without failing and without services and accommodations, is functionally comparable to mine?

The mind boggles at the depth of your ignorance. Do you understand how your lack of knowledge makes you criticize a system that is actually fair?

I hope you learn from my post and never impugn students with IEPs again.

Anonymous wrote:Just so you know, OP, most of us with children who have IEPs have spent hours and hours and hours of every year since preschool driving our children to therapies (which we paid $$$$ for) 2-3 times a week, also paid for tutors, also arranged social skills classes. our kids work 3 times as long to finish the same assignment, do all of the above therapies and tutoring AND these kids somehow find it within themselves to also participate in ECs if they want to have a strong college admissions application.

You should really just try to be grateful that your child didn't end up with this massive burden to carry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk of how your special needs child overcame

This is a horrible idea. My senior kid with a physical disability from a top stem high school has very high stats, EC, ect…Should have easily had top schools during college admissions. Didn’t write any essays about the disability, but her recommendations did thinking it showed perseverance.
Biggest mistake ever.

Anonymous wrote:Right, and let's say my kid needs extra support to build his resume and pursue college-worthy extra-curriculars. Who pays for that? There are no MCPS funds or aides for that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk of how your special needs child overcame

This is a horrible idea. My senior kid with a physical disability from a top stem high school has very high stats, EC, ect…Should have easily had top schools during college admissions. Didn’t write any essays about the disability, but her recommendations did thinking it showed perseverance.
Biggest mistake ever.

Anonymous wrote:OP, my junior is similar to yours. A solid student, good grades in rigorous classes, and plays soccer (a LOT). And that’s it. No jobs, no clubs, no volunteering. We’ve discussed how this will limit DC’s college options. And it may not really sink in until DC has some rejections in hand, but it’s been their decision. I can’t make this child be like their sibling who played sports and got great grades but also worked, volunteered and started a club and is now at a T50 college. I’m parenting the child I have, with accordant expectations about college prospects. And neither of us is pointing fingers or looking for scapegoats among their peers.

Anonymous wrote:My junior son is smart, does his homework, cares about school, and has a 4.0+ GPA. However, he refuses to do any extra-curricular activities aside from soccer. I think it's a mental block, he is afraid of change and unpredictability. It's been an issue his whole life, and I've tried to push him but he refuses. Now that we're applying for colleges, I realize what a detriment this lack of extra-curriculars is to his applications. Meanwhile, he has friends who don't have the same mental block about ECs, but they do have exemptions at school because of various mild academic mental issues. They get extra time on tests, they get extensions on assignments, they get extra help paid for by MCPS. They have the same GPA as he does, but they also have the ECs. I don't think this is fair. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, but some types of weakness receive extra school funding and institutional exemptions, while others don't. Can someone explain this to me how this is fair?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Several people who are attacking my son and me are missing the point of the post. Don't you see the irony that you feel it's ok to call my son lazy, but then you attack me for being insensitive to the kids with mild IEPs? How is my son's 'laziness' any different from their 'laziness'? It is all just different types of inability to do different types of things. But some types of inability are given exemptions and institutional supports, while others aren't. And I totally understand if some kids need an IEP to function and feel they have a place in society. I totally, 100% support that, and to say otherwise would be cruel and ignorant. But some kids' IEPs give them a boost to get A+ GPAs, participate in a ton of EC's and attend very selective colleges, things they would not have been able to do without IEPs and other institutional intervention. Meanwhile, kids who do not have IEPs but have other challenges in life do not get that boost. That's the discrepancy I am pointing out.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think this changes OP’s essential churlishness, but IDEA actually does cover school-sponsored extracurriculars to some extent: https://www.understood.org/en/articles/do-ieps-cover-extracurricular-activities#

In Maryland, there is an additional state law that mandates the creation of accessible school sports teams.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my junior is similar to yours. A solid student, good grades in rigorous classes, and plays soccer (a LOT). And that’s it. No jobs, no clubs, no volunteering. We’ve discussed how this will limit DC’s college options. And it may not really sink in until DC has some rejections in hand, but it’s been their decision. I can’t make this child be like their sibling who played sports and got great grades but also worked, volunteered and started a club and is now at a T50 college. I’m parenting the child I have, with accordant expectations about college prospects. And neither of us is pointing fingers or looking for scapegoats among their peers.

It’s great that your other kid was more active but your “lazy” kid may do better in life. I just had drinks with a friend who is a professor at a state flagship, and whose life philosophy is to be lazy (or “build in slack” as he says). Nice house, nice family, nice neighborhood, nice kids, nice hobbies … it’s to be aspired to actually!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is part of the S.W.E.A.T. pledge from the DD going into the Trades post. It may be helpful for you and DC to read this carefully and reflect upon it:

10. I believe that I am a product of my choices – not my circumstances. I will never blame anyone for my shortcomings or the challenges I face. And I will never accept the credit for something I didn’t do.

11. I understand the world is not fair, and I’m OK with that. I do not resent the success of others.

12. I believe that all people are created equal. I also believe that all people make choices. Some choose to be lazy. Some choose to sleep in. I choose to work my butt off.

This is some clueless dim bulb Mike Rowe “Dirty Jobs” BS.