How would anyone?

The pushback of “why do homework to get a ballpark when you can’t be 100% sure - much better to wing it” confounds me.

OP, still curious how you will handle college options if DC1 goes to Princeton and DC2 gets in to Princeton or something similar, but the expenses are now greater than you anticipated.

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Anonymous wrote:I wish this forum had more people with kids in their 20s and 30s.

Everything is So Important when you're living through it and it's what your circle is talking about 24/7. Preschool seemed awfully important to me at one time - now I look back and shake my head. I know parents who look back on college and feel the same. Plenty of kids graduate from Top Name College and now they work in tutoring, or in non--profit work, or are project managers making 65k. And that's all just great. But unless you're super rich, there's a lot to be said for having some money available for a down payment and that 35k rolled from the 529 to their Roth. Prestige lasts a lifetime but so does that ROTH IRA. I had to get 40k together to put down money on my first place - and real estate is where most of our net worth comes from. So many millennials priced out of home ownership. The math our kids are looking at is a lot different.

Great post.

"Prestige lasts a lifetime" UNLESS the student attends graduate school or a professional school (MD, JD, or MBA).

And even if not, the importance of prestige declines as you get more experience. Until recently, when the topic came up since a couple of us have kids going through the process, I had no idea where my coworkers went to college. Turns out, a range from highly selective to regional publics to never-heard-of-it LACs. We all work for the same "brand name" company. Yes, I know in certain particular fields it matters. But not for the great majority of them.

Also, prestige can grow. I went to U of Chicago. And people think that means something. But back in the Ancient Days, I think the acceptance rate was something like 35%. It was a good school then too. Grinnell will have single digit acceptances within 3 years is my bet, if it doesn't now. It's a rich school. But ITA -- I have no idea where any of my colleagues went to college.

I don't believe that Prestige is important at all, it is where is a good fit for the student. My DH went to U Chicago Law School and is a successful career SES lawyer, no one knows where he went to school. I have a finance degree (BS only) from VT and make 2X's the salary. No one cares where you went to school after your first job and if you get good grades at any decent school with a good major, you will be recruited for a good entry job. Both of our kids are in college now, one at a top SLAC school (needed a smaller environment), one at state flagship school (lives their best life every game day). Both are happy, doing well in classes and have fun activities and friends. Send your kid to best school for them.

But if your husband wanted to transition to biglaw, he likely could. His financial upside, even mid-career, is significantly higher than yours. The prestige of his law school and contacts would likely make that easier too.

LOL, I love it when people just make stuff up without any facts to support it and expect us to believe it.

Yes! Prestige may have worth for some over time, but I know a number of folks and the only currency they seem to have is where they went to college. Their lives are not really that much different than their colleagues who attended what they consider no-name colleges, yet they never seem to make that connection.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish this forum had more people with kids in their 20s and 30s.

Everything is So Important when you're living through it and it's what your circle is talking about 24/7. Preschool seemed awfully important to me at one time - now I look back and shake my head. I know parents who look back on college and feel the same. Plenty of kids graduate from Top Name College and now they work in tutoring, or in non--profit work, or are project managers making 65k. And that's all just great. But unless you're super rich, there's a lot to be said for having some money available for a down payment and that 35k rolled from the 529 to their Roth. Prestige lasts a lifetime but so does that ROTH IRA. I had to get 40k together to put down money on my first place - and real estate is where most of our net worth comes from. So many millennials priced out of home ownership. The math our kids are looking at is a lot different.

Great post.

"Prestige lasts a lifetime" UNLESS the student attends graduate school or a professional school (MD, JD, or MBA).

And even if not, the importance of prestige declines as you get more experience. Until recently, when the topic came up since a couple of us have kids going through the process, I had no idea where my coworkers went to college. Turns out, a range from highly selective to regional publics to never-heard-of-it LACs. We all work for the same "brand name" company. Yes, I know in certain particular fields it matters. But not for the great majority of them.

Also, prestige can grow. I went to U of Chicago. And people think that means something. But back in the Ancient Days, I think the acceptance rate was something like 35%. It was a good school then too. Grinnell will have single digit acceptances within 3 years is my bet, if it doesn't now. It's a rich school. But ITA -- I have no idea where any of my colleagues went to college.

I don't believe that Prestige is important at all, it is where is a good fit for the student. My DH went to U Chicago Law School and is a successful career SES lawyer, no one knows where he went to school. I have a finance degree (BS only) from VT and make 2X's the salary. No one cares where you went to school after your first job and if you get good grades at any decent school with a good major, you will be recruited for a good entry job. Both of our kids are in college now, one at a top SLAC school (needed a smaller environment), one at state flagship school (lives their best life every game day). Both are happy, doing well in classes and have fun activities and friends. Send your kid to best school for them.

But if your husband wanted to transition to biglaw, he likely could. His financial upside, even mid-career, is significantly higher than yours. The prestige of his law school and contacts would likely make that easier too.

LOL, I love it when people just make stuff up without any facts to support it and expect us to believe it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish this forum had more people with kids in their 20s and 30s.

Everything is So Important when you're living through it and it's what your circle is talking about 24/7. Preschool seemed awfully important to me at one time - now I look back and shake my head. I know parents who look back on college and feel the same. Plenty of kids graduate from Top Name College and now they work in tutoring, or in non--profit work, or are project managers making 65k. And that's all just great. But unless you're super rich, there's a lot to be said for having some money available for a down payment and that 35k rolled from the 529 to their Roth. Prestige lasts a lifetime but so does that ROTH IRA. I had to get 40k together to put down money on my first place - and real estate is where most of our net worth comes from. So many millennials priced out of home ownership. The math our kids are looking at is a lot different.

Great post.

"Prestige lasts a lifetime" UNLESS the student attends graduate school or a professional school (MD, JD, or MBA).

And even if not, the importance of prestige declines as you get more experience. Until recently, when the topic came up since a couple of us have kids going through the process, I had no idea where my coworkers went to college. Turns out, a range from highly selective to regional publics to never-heard-of-it LACs. We all work for the same "brand name" company. Yes, I know in certain particular fields it matters. But not for the great majority of them.

Also, prestige can grow. I went to U of Chicago. And people think that means something. But back in the Ancient Days, I think the acceptance rate was something like 35%. It was a good school then too. Grinnell will have single digit acceptances within 3 years is my bet, if it doesn't now. It's a rich school. But ITA -- I have no idea where any of my colleagues went to college.

I don't believe that Prestige is important at all, it is where is a good fit for the student. My DH went to U Chicago Law School and is a successful career SES lawyer, no one knows where he went to school. I have a finance degree (BS only) from VT and make 2X's the salary. No one cares where you went to school after your first job and if you get good grades at any decent school with a good major, you will be recruited for a good entry job. Both of our kids are in college now, one at a top SLAC school (needed a smaller environment), one at state flagship school (lives their best life every game day). Both are happy, doing well in classes and have fun activities and friends. Send your kid to best school for them.

But if your husband wanted to transition to biglaw, he likely could. His financial upside, even mid-career, is significantly higher than yours. The prestige of his law school and contacts would likely make that easier too.

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Anonymous wrote:

OP is off in Lala-Land while his first child is sweating bullets this close to Decision Day.

Not cool, OP. Your cold feet are hurting your kids. Typical of a certain type of bean-counter.

You should have been upfront with your kids about you finances before they applied anywhere.

You're literally making this up. Why I have no idea. We called schools to ask for clarity on what happens next year when she got the acceptances. I'm sorry I didn't alert DC Urban Moms and Dads then, I guess? A lot of kids are still weighing decisions rn. Accepted students day at Princeton as last week ffs. For my child-of-bean-counters, decision-making includes how to allocate a big chunk of money set aside for college. Do she want to keep some powder dry for grad school? Do she want to do a gap year and get more FA next year (suggested by two schools - who also want the best for these kids)? She's a smart kid making smart decisions. I'm super proud.

You guys are talking about this with one week to go? I can understand a teen not having a great sense of timing, but you, the adult? You're cutting it a bit close to be still talking about a gap year in April of senior year!
The allocation of money was something you were supposed to do for the past 18 years, my friend. Calling around frantically now isn't going to change much.

DP. Last year with 1 week to go, my kid was meeting with various dept chairs and waiting for results of FA appeals at 3 T15 schools. "Calling around frantically " saved us 8k. Per year.

What iswrong here that you need to chastise?

People like this poster are honestly a problem. You went all "Karen" frantically appealing FA results sucking up more of the budget while the people who probably really need the money don't end up with it (you didn't mention any actually flawed FA data). I'm guessing you're a homeowner with a fair amount of equity there and in your retirement account they can't touch and would call yourself UMC to a non-FA officer?

What a rush to judgment. We are not UMC. We appealed based on lower income in '21 than '20. The other contacting was to see if the colleges that were more expensive were worth the additional cost so DD was talking to various faculty. So, because we made less money and realized that would be important for the unis to know, that makes me a "Karen?" You sure bandy that term around loosely. And, actually, "Karen" refers to someone who pre-judges others based on their own entitlements, so look in the mirror, babe.

Honestly, why do people feel the need to denigrate others when it's so unnecessary? Our EFC is not high. We need the FA. The week spent comparing schools and talking to FA office was fruitful. You stink.

I would agree that pushing back at the last minute also isn't an amazing thing to do when it isn't based on any merit. When you say "saved us 8k," it also didn't sound like you were not going to be able to afford it otherwise. It looked more like a pat on the back for saving yourself the money at the last minute. The point is that the money had to come from somewhere FA budget wise and maybe your family that goes through multiple appeal processes and escalates isn't the one that needs it most. But you could actually be fairly poor and if that is the case then the strategy was a true positive though trying to do things earlier would have been ideal.
I am also interested if you are a homeowner with decent retirement accounts though. Would you mind answering that bit? A lot of the FA stories on DCUM feel a bit fringe in terms of true need. The same parents trying to game admissions too often turn their attempts to the FA office too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP is off in Lala-Land while his first child is sweating bullets this close to Decision Day.

Not cool, OP. Your cold feet are hurting your kids. Typical of a certain type of bean-counter.

You should have been upfront with your kids about you finances before they applied anywhere.

You're literally making this up. Why I have no idea. We called schools to ask for clarity on what happens next year when she got the acceptances. I'm sorry I didn't alert DC Urban Moms and Dads then, I guess? A lot of kids are still weighing decisions rn. Accepted students day at Princeton as last week ffs. For my child-of-bean-counters, decision-making includes how to allocate a big chunk of money set aside for college. Do she want to keep some powder dry for grad school? Do she want to do a gap year and get more FA next year (suggested by two schools - who also want the best for these kids)? She's a smart kid making smart decisions. I'm super proud.

You guys are talking about this with one week to go? I can understand a teen not having a great sense of timing, but you, the adult? You're cutting it a bit close to be still talking about a gap year in April of senior year!
The allocation of money was something you were supposed to do for the past 18 years, my friend. Calling around frantically now isn't going to change much.

DP. Last year with 1 week to go, my kid was meeting with various dept chairs and waiting for results of FA appeals at 3 T15 schools. "Calling around frantically " saved us 8k. Per year.

What iswrong here that you need to chastise?

People like this poster are honestly a problem. You went all "Karen" frantically appealing FA results sucking up more of the budget while the people who probably really need the money don't end up with it (you didn't mention any actually flawed FA data). I'm guessing you're a homeowner with a fair amount of equity there and in your retirement account they can't touch and would call yourself UMC to a non-FA officer?

What a rush to judgment. We are not UMC. We appealed based on lower income in '21 than '20. The other contacting was to see if the colleges that were more expensive were worth the additional cost so DD was talking to various faculty. So, because we made less money and realized that would be important for the unis to know, that makes me a "Karen?" You sure bandy that term around loosely. And, actually, "Karen" refers to someone who pre-judges others based on their own entitlements, so look in the mirror, babe.

Honestly, why do people feel the need to denigrate others when it's so unnecessary? Our EFC is not high. We need the FA. The week spent comparing schools and talking to FA office was fruitful. You stink.

It is a big misstep to talk to faculty about whether their schools are "worth it," especially after being admitted as an undergrad. Others, please don't do this (it is a bad look).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP is off in Lala-Land while his first child is sweating bullets this close to Decision Day.

Not cool, OP. Your cold feet are hurting your kids. Typical of a certain type of bean-counter.

You should have been upfront with your kids about you finances before they applied anywhere.

You're literally making this up. Why I have no idea. We called schools to ask for clarity on what happens next year when she got the acceptances. I'm sorry I didn't alert DC Urban Moms and Dads then, I guess? A lot of kids are still weighing decisions rn. Accepted students day at Princeton as last week ffs. For my child-of-bean-counters, decision-making includes how to allocate a big chunk of money set aside for college. Do she want to keep some powder dry for grad school? Do she want to do a gap year and get more FA next year (suggested by two schools - who also want the best for these kids)? She's a smart kid making smart decisions. I'm super proud.

You guys are talking about this with one week to go? I can understand a teen not having a great sense of timing, but you, the adult? You're cutting it a bit close to be still talking about a gap year in April of senior year!
The allocation of money was something you were supposed to do for the past 18 years, my friend. Calling around frantically now isn't going to change much.

DP. Last year with 1 week to go, my kid was meeting with various dept chairs and waiting for results of FA appeals at 3 T15 schools. "Calling around frantically " saved us 8k. Per year.

What iswrong here that you need to chastise?

People like this poster are honestly a problem. You went all "Karen" frantically appealing FA results sucking up more of the budget while the people who probably really need the money don't end up with it (you didn't mention any actually flawed FA data). I'm guessing you're a homeowner with a fair amount of equity there and in your retirement account they can't touch and would call yourself UMC to a non-FA officer?

What a rush to judgment. We are not UMC. We appealed based on lower income in '21 than '20. The other contacting was to see if the colleges that were more expensive were worth the additional cost so DD was talking to various faculty. So, because we made less money and realized that would be important for the unis to know, that makes me a "Karen?" You sure bandy that term around loosely. And, actually, "Karen" refers to someone who pre-judges others based on their own entitlements, so look in the mirror, babe.

Honestly, why do people feel the need to denigrate others when it's so unnecessary? Our EFC is not high. We need the FA. The week spent comparing schools and talking to FA office was fruitful. You stink.

Because Grinnell's endowment was in Berkshire Hathaway stock in in the 60s and because it was the principal capital source for Intel. They later put a lot of their money into the Sequoia fund.

Nobody claims Princeton had such generous aid because they can't get kids to apply.

Anonymous wrote:
Humanities major for first, not sure of second. This seems easy to me. Problem is, everyone we talk to is like, "hmm.. Grinnell .. now that seems like a school I've heard of but remind me" and my kids and my husband just get down on the prospect. But they're realists .. they won't sulk if that's the decision. Georgetown is off our list, for sure. Wouldn't pay more for Williams when Princeton is cheaper. Could we pay for Princeton? Yes. But that's it then, kids. No help with grad school, downpayment, anything like that.

Why did you think Grinnell gives out so many discounts?

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Anonymous wrote:Princeton parent here. Kid got also full ride from a very good school. And we are not so rich that money is no issue. The kid wanted to go to Princeton, we let them go. So glad we did. Very happy with Princeton. The school plans everything in its power to make kids happy and learning. And learning not only their subject matters, but also other things.

Thanks for this. I realize Princeton seems to be the obvious choice, but my kid has two very good friends at Princeton and neither very impressed tbh, although one is just a freshman. They're like, "eh, it's fine .. it's good .. it's not super special" and generally not encouraging. And they both have really hefty FA awards. I think kid is leaning Williams right now, and then of course we think, well, if it's Williams why not Grinnell plus money for grad school. There's no bad decision (except Georgetown, that's not happening)

Your kid told them that you're pushing him to go to Grinnell. His friends are playing down Princeton to make him feel better.

Also, as other PP said, what are they comparing Princeton to? Maybe other HYPSM schools or SLACs.

It is tough to admit but most people just can't do everything for their kids. This poster is going to be limited in the future support they can provide regardless of the choice of child 1. It sucks coming to that realization but they are in that 95%+ who just can't fully provide for everything financially.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP is off in Lala-Land while his first child is sweating bullets this close to Decision Day.

Not cool, OP. Your cold feet are hurting your kids. Typical of a certain type of bean-counter.

You should have been upfront with your kids about you finances before they applied anywhere.

You're literally making this up. Why I have no idea. We called schools to ask for clarity on what happens next year when she got the acceptances. I'm sorry I didn't alert DC Urban Moms and Dads then, I guess? A lot of kids are still weighing decisions rn. Accepted students day at Princeton as last week ffs. For my child-of-bean-counters, decision-making includes how to allocate a big chunk of money set aside for college. Do she want to keep some powder dry for grad school? Do she want to do a gap year and get more FA next year (suggested by two schools - who also want the best for these kids)? She's a smart kid making smart decisions. I'm super proud.

You guys are talking about this with one week to go? I can understand a teen not having a great sense of timing, but you, the adult? You're cutting it a bit close to be still talking about a gap year in April of senior year!
The allocation of money was something you were supposed to do for the past 18 years, my friend. Calling around frantically now isn't going to change much.

DP. Last year with 1 week to go, my kid was meeting with various dept chairs and waiting for results of FA appeals at 3 T15 schools. "Calling around frantically " saved us 8k. Per year.

What iswrong here that you need to chastise?

People like this poster are honestly a problem. You went all "Karen" frantically appealing FA results sucking up more of the budget while the people who probably really need the money don't end up with it (you didn't mention any actually flawed FA data). I'm guessing you're a homeowner with a fair amount of equity there and in your retirement account they can't touch and would call yourself UMC to a non-FA officer?

OP, I am the poster who thanked you earlier, and I will say it again...thanks for your insights and info. (To another poster, it doesn't need to be a certain data set to be helpful)! There are a few posters here who haven't seemed to comprehend what you are asking, but it doesn't seem to stop them or even slow down the judgment.

Anyway, thanks again and good luck with choices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP is off in Lala-Land while his first child is sweating bullets this close to Decision Day.

Not cool, OP. Your cold feet are hurting your kids. Typical of a certain type of bean-counter.

You should have been upfront with your kids about you finances before they applied anywhere.

You're literally making this up. Why I have no idea. We called schools to ask for clarity on what happens next year when she got the acceptances. I'm sorry I didn't alert DC Urban Moms and Dads then, I guess? A lot of kids are still weighing decisions rn. Accepted students day at Princeton as last week ffs. For my child-of-bean-counters, decision-making includes how to allocate a big chunk of money set aside for college. Do she want to keep some powder dry for grad school? Do she want to do a gap year and get more FA next year (suggested by two schools - who also want the best for these kids)? She's a smart kid making smart decisions. I'm super proud.

You guys are talking about this with one week to go? I can understand a teen not having a great sense of timing, but you, the adult? You're cutting it a bit close to be still talking about a gap year in April of senior year!
The allocation of money was something you were supposed to do for the past 18 years, my friend. Calling around frantically now isn't going to change much.

DP. Last year with 1 week to go, my kid was meeting with various dept chairs and waiting for results of FA appeals at 3 T15 schools. "Calling around frantically " saved us 8k. Per year.

What iswrong here that you need to chastise?