Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 16:34     Subject: Would you be offended? Weird experience with friends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DP here. What did they actually *say* when the guys were golfing and the other women were going to the spa? I can't fathom how uncomfortable that would be to not only be left behind but for them not to see how awful it looks? Like, hey Larla and Larlo, we're heading out for dinner just us, have a nice night? Or did you find out later? And they thought that was OK?


We honestly barely saw the other adults the whole trip. The hard part was that we weren’t staying together in a house or anything and our hotel rooms were not right next to one another (hotel has different buildings so we weren’t all together) so they would just kind of disappear. They didn’t say we are going to the spa and you aren’t invited explicitly.

I basically texted them every morning to see what they were up to and they would often reply that the kids are at the pool/beach and to come down to meet up, but the adults were not there and the kids were all with the nanny. So DH and I would sit by the pool to watch our kids and the nanny watched the rest. The moms would pop out from time to time and I would ask what they were up to and most of the time they said they were going to run to their rooms for a bit and come back.

We did all have dinner together the last night but I was pretty much over them all by them and kind of ignored them.


Okay now you can move on. They were rude and you aren’t close so the decision to vacation together was stupid on your part. Now move on.


God, stop blaming the OP. And get a bigger vocabulary.


Like your vast vocabulary?


You know nothing about my vocabulary, but I know that you can’t think of another way to say “move on.”


Likewise, you know nothing about anyone else’s vocabulary. Move on.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 16:33     Subject: Re:Would you be offended? Weird experience with friends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Stop blaming the victim. OP I’m sorry that happened to you. Those people are total jerks and I would drop them collleteky including carpooling with them. They sound like complete users. They just wanted a playmate for their kid.


I think this is what the trip was about. Users. You were there for your kids.


Using op for what? They didn’t get anything from her.


The kids got playmates


The kids already had playmates with the other parents, dummy.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 16:24     Subject: Would you be offended? Weird experience with friends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DP here. What did they actually *say* when the guys were golfing and the other women were going to the spa? I can't fathom how uncomfortable that would be to not only be left behind but for them not to see how awful it looks? Like, hey Larla and Larlo, we're heading out for dinner just us, have a nice night? Or did you find out later? And they thought that was OK?


We honestly barely saw the other adults the whole trip. The hard part was that we weren’t staying together in a house or anything and our hotel rooms were not right next to one another (hotel has different buildings so we weren’t all together) so they would just kind of disappear. They didn’t say we are going to the spa and you aren’t invited explicitly.

I basically texted them every morning to see what they were up to and they would often reply that the kids are at the pool/beach and to come down to meet up, but the adults were not there and the kids were all with the nanny. So DH and I would sit by the pool to watch our kids and the nanny watched the rest. The moms would pop out from time to time and I would ask what they were up to and most of the time they said they were going to run to their rooms for a bit and come back.

We did all have dinner together the last night but I was pretty much over them all by them and kind of ignored them.


Okay now you can move on. They were rude and you aren’t close so the decision to vacation together was stupid on your part. Now move on.


God, stop blaming the OP. And get a bigger vocabulary.


Stop with things that are not relevant and with the ad hominem.



Move on! Move on!
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 16:22     Subject: Would you be offended? Weird experience with friends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DP here. What did they actually *say* when the guys were golfing and the other women were going to the spa? I can't fathom how uncomfortable that would be to not only be left behind but for them not to see how awful it looks? Like, hey Larla and Larlo, we're heading out for dinner just us, have a nice night? Or did you find out later? And they thought that was OK?


We honestly barely saw the other adults the whole trip. The hard part was that we weren’t staying together in a house or anything and our hotel rooms were not right next to one another (hotel has different buildings so we weren’t all together) so they would just kind of disappear. They didn’t say we are going to the spa and you aren’t invited explicitly.

I basically texted them every morning to see what they were up to and they would often reply that the kids are at the pool/beach and to come down to meet up, but the adults were not there and the kids were all with the nanny. So DH and I would sit by the pool to watch our kids and the nanny watched the rest. The moms would pop out from time to time and I would ask what they were up to and most of the time they said they were going to run to their rooms for a bit and come back.

We did all have dinner together the last night but I was pretty much over them all by them and kind of ignored them.


Okay now you can move on. They were rude and you aren’t close so the decision to vacation together was stupid on your part. Now move on.


God, stop blaming the OP. And get a bigger vocabulary.


NP And your vocabulary is big?


Wow, struck a nerve, eh?
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 16:22     Subject: Would you be offended? Weird experience with friends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DP here. What did they actually *say* when the guys were golfing and the other women were going to the spa? I can't fathom how uncomfortable that would be to not only be left behind but for them not to see how awful it looks? Like, hey Larla and Larlo, we're heading out for dinner just us, have a nice night? Or did you find out later? And they thought that was OK?


We honestly barely saw the other adults the whole trip. The hard part was that we weren’t staying together in a house or anything and our hotel rooms were not right next to one another (hotel has different buildings so we weren’t all together) so they would just kind of disappear. They didn’t say we are going to the spa and you aren’t invited explicitly.

I basically texted them every morning to see what they were up to and they would often reply that the kids are at the pool/beach and to come down to meet up, but the adults were not there and the kids were all with the nanny. So DH and I would sit by the pool to watch our kids and the nanny watched the rest. The moms would pop out from time to time and I would ask what they were up to and most of the time they said they were going to run to their rooms for a bit and come back.

We did all have dinner together the last night but I was pretty much over them all by them and kind of ignored them.


Okay now you can move on. They were rude and you aren’t close so the decision to vacation together was stupid on your part. Now move on.


God, stop blaming the OP. And get a bigger vocabulary.


Like your vast vocabulary?


You know nothing about my vocabulary, but I know that you can’t think of another way to say “move on.”
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 16:12     Subject: Would you be offended? Weird experience with friends
Anonymous wrote:OP, it's obvious they asked your husband about sharing the nanny but he completely forgot/failed to tell you and he's covering his tracks.

And as others have said it's not the kids' fault.


What on earth makes you think that?

OP this sucks, sorry. SO awkward going forward. I’d keep letting the kids get together but steer clear of the adults.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 16:09     Subject: Would you be offended? Weird experience with friends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, it's obvious they asked your husband about sharing the nanny but he completely forgot/failed to tell you and he's covering his tracks.

And as others have said it's not the kids' fault.


Where did OP imply this had happened?


OP didn't but simply is overlooking this assuming all fault lies with anyone by her own family.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 16:02     Subject: Would you be offended? Weird experience with friends
Anonymous wrote:OP, it's obvious they asked your husband about sharing the nanny but he completely forgot/failed to tell you and he's covering his tracks.

And as others have said it's not the kids' fault.


Where did OP imply this had happened?
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 14:39     Subject: Would you be offended? Weird experience with friends
I think it's actually worse than some people are saying, because insofar as the men & women were splitting up anyway, OP & her DH could have traded off watching their kids & joining without being a 5th wheel. It actually feels much more directed than that. I would guess that other couple doesn't like you for some reason?

Also, did their nanny ever watch your kids without your/DH's help? Because if you weren't invited even in that scenario, it becomes clearly intentional.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 14:36     Subject: Would you be offended? Weird experience with friends
Anonymous wrote:So they probably made the plan with you first, and later found out that the other family with the nanny was going. Then they started making more detailed plans with the nanny family, but decided to leave you out because the nanny didn't want to watch all of the children.


This.

But Op I would be SO ANNOYED. If someone says "we're at the pool" and I go down and it's the kids with the nanny?! I would have a very hard time being friendly with these people after this. It's off the charts rude that no one even just discussed it!

If I felt close enough with the mom I would have mentioned it while we were there, like "hey, I didn't realize I'd be hanging with the kids and the nanny! I wish you'd mentioned it as it changed the dynamic of our vacation since you all aren't around" and then see what she said. After that, I probably would have shifted our vacay to focus on just my nuclear family, planned some things just us, and if we ran into them, great. If not, oh well.

It sucks when you think a friendship is clicking and then something like this happens. I'm sorry.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 11:53     Subject: Would you be offended? Weird experience with friends
Anonymous wrote:OP, it's obvious they asked your husband about sharing the nanny but he completely forgot/failed to tell you and he's covering his tracks.

And as others have said it's not the kids' fault.


Ahh. Missed that. Yes, if that’s the case, Op’s husband didn’t want to pay for the nanny or forgot. But then why wouldn’t they have mentioned it to her and why couldn’t the nanny just watch their kids or just he?
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 11:51     Subject: Would you be offended? Weird experience with friends
OP, it's obvious they asked your husband about sharing the nanny but he completely forgot/failed to tell you and he's covering his tracks.

And as others have said it's not the kids' fault.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 11:50     Subject: Re:Would you be offended? Weird experience with friends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Stop blaming the victim. OP I’m sorry that happened to you. Those people are total jerks and I would drop them collleteky including carpooling with them. They sound like complete users. They just wanted a playmate for their kid.


I think this is what the trip was about. Users. You were there for your kids.


Using op for what? They didn’t get anything from her.


The kids got playmates
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 11:49     Subject: Would you be offended? Weird experience with friends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I would never, ever, plan a trip with people who were not very close relatives or very dear friends. And even then, I'd make sure we had plenty of time to distance from each other.

These people are a little socially unaware. At least now you know that.


Not OP, and I get what you're saying - to an extent, but how does one make "better" friends if not by spending more time with them. There has to be a "first" trip together right? This conceivably could have been the first trip of many and become "dear" friends.

That's how me and my best friend got to be best friends. We met, hung out locally a lot and then went to the beach together. We've now been friends for 30 years. But it took me going on a first trip etc to get that bond going.


I agree. I can't fathom why people are saying the trip was a bad idea. My kids have had a blast when we did this.


You can’t fathom why people are saying so? Did the OP make better friends with them? Obviously it was a bad idea. Duh!


What an idiotic response. No one can predict the future. It could have turned out great. The plan to join in a vacation together was a great idea. No one could have predicted this. We've taken a vacation with a family we didn't know well. We didn't hang out all the time but the kids and parents had a great time. It wasn't stupid for op to do this.

Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 11:40     Subject: Re:Would you be offended? Weird experience with friends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Stop blaming the victim. OP I’m sorry that happened to you. Those people are total jerks and I would drop them collleteky including carpooling with them. They sound like complete users. They just wanted a playmate for their kid.


I think this is what the trip was about. Users. You were there for your kids.


Using op for what? They didn’t get anything from her.