Anonymous wrote:I hope this is ok to share here, but I am basically tearful with jealousy at all the posters whose insurances are covering it even though they don’t have “medical conditions”. I am overweight- I should be under 150 for a BMI of 25, and I’m 170. I have no other health problems. I CANNOT lose the weight and I’ve actually gained 10lb this past year when I stopped being hyper vigilant about calories and weighing myself daily. I am struggling so much and have so much self loathing for my lack of “willpower” or whatever it is that’s causing this. But I cannot afford a thousand dollars a month. I can’t even afford 550 a month like one of the posters.
I just want to take this drug and reduce my insane appetite and lose this weight and be healthy and feel good. I am so angry and sad.
I am so sorry you feel this way. I’ve been in a similar place. I had gotten to a place premarriage and kids where I was at a weight I felt good at and got a lot of positive emotion from exercising, feeling strong, and being able to wear clothes I felt great in. I had kids in my late 30’s to early 40’s and then went into menopause. I went through a lengthy period of struggling with my weight, feeling bad about myself, and engaging in a lot of negative self-talk. It sucked.
A few years ago I was diagnosed with ADHD. (A lot of people with ADHD struggle with weight). The knowing that there was a reason I struggled with weight loss changed everything. I realized that I actually have a lot of will power when I am interested in achieving something but that biologically my brain makes it harder sometimes. By focusing on my frustration or “shaming” myself about weight loss I was working against my biology. My brain has issues with dopamine so I decided to stop engaging in dopamine draining activities like negative self talk or telling myself I had to lose X pounds and started focusing on dopamine boosting activities. I set small achievable “gold star” goals for myself. “I am going to walk today for my heart and my brain”. When I finished I actually congratulated myself and found ways to get a streak of walking going. I focused on the small “just for today I am walking.”
I am now in the habit of exercising everyday. I have been doing this for so many consecutive days that I don’t want to break my streak. Not only have I lost weight but mentally I feel sooooo much better. What really shifted for me was changing my mental talk from “I need to lose weight”, “I have to eat less”, “I should be better” to “I am walking because I want to age well”, “I am exercising because moving makes me feel calmer”, “I’m not clearing my plate because I like the feeling of not being stuffed.” I move every day in a way that feels good to me. Sometimes its dancing, often its walking, cycling, or jogging. Somedays its a 20 minute jog other days its a 90 minute or more walk. Whatever it is I am moving and reminding myself that I just did something great for my heart, my brain, and my body. The positive emotion really helps motivate me and I am sleeping better.
This may sound crazy to people but I’ve lost almost 30 pounds and feel like I can keep losing because I am working with my brain and body’s biology instead of against it. I am actively making choices that boost my dopamine. I also tell myself that my ADHD sometimes lies to me and tells me I need food but really I’m seeking a dopamine boost. Understanding what is going on has enabled me to move a muscle or play a song to boost my dopamine instead of reaching for a cookie or sitting on the sofa boosting dopamine with Netflix.
I really hope you feel better. Please be kind to yourself. I wish I had been kinder to myself earlier.