Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also giving birth is a huge accomplishment. Why can’t women be proud of however they gave birth? Be proud you went unmedicated whether in a hospital or at home with candles galore. Be proud you chose every intervention possible. Be proud that you had one plan and then pivoted again and again as the situation deemed necessary. Whatever your path was, you are entitled to feel proud abd if you wanna share so share.

This thread reeks of internalized misogyny and so much side eye and subtle scorn towards women who want to share and are proud of their birth story. I get how when people gloat and think they are better than it is annoying, but that isn’t about births, that’s their personality. Stop making women pay for bad personalities by making it about one type of birth or another. I think women (and all people for that matter) should feel amazingly proud and free to share if they’ve been through something as incredible as making a baby with their body.

Everyone would be happier if we just focus on the baby after. We don't really want to hear the birth story. Unless something super interesting happened. Like Tom Hanks delivered your baby on a plane or something.

To the OP: you keep saying that you support other women, but you wrote your question in a loaded way. You've gotten your answer. No one is "bothered" by an unmedicated birth. People are bothered by birth-story braggarts.

End of thread.

Anonymous wrote:Also giving birth is a huge accomplishment. Why can’t women be proud of however they gave birth? Be proud you went unmedicated whether in a hospital or at home with candles galore. Be proud you chose every intervention possible. Be proud that you had one plan and then pivoted again and again as the situation deemed necessary. Whatever your path was, you are entitled to feel proud abd if you wanna share so share.

This thread reeks of internalized misogyny and so much side eye and subtle scorn towards women who want to share and are proud of their birth story. I get how when people gloat and think they are better than it is annoying, but that isn’t about births, that’s their personality. Stop making women pay for bad personalities by making it about one type of birth or another. I think women (and all people for that matter) should feel amazingly proud and free to share if they’ve been through something as incredible as making a baby with their body.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the same reason people are annoyed when other women lose weight, go vegan, run a marathon, or any other number of things that take some effort and planning over a sustained period of time. It’s something most people CAN do, and most people choose not to.

A lot people are insecure about their choices and react defensively when other people make different choices because they don’t understand the difference between people living out their own adventure around them and people living AT them. They assume someone having a positive experience with their own different choice somehow negates or minimizes their own positive experience with their choice. Similar to marathon running or your new diet, if you don’t make it your whole personality, it shouldn’t be an issue.

Lol you think an unmedicated birth is some accomplishment comparable to a marathon.

For many people it’s a choice that they spend months doing squats and yoga, practicing meditation, and preparing for. Just like a marathon - most people can do it if they choose to spend their time and energy that way. And just like a marathon, not everyone who starts finishes.
But that’s not the point.

The point is why do you care how I spend my time? Why does it make you angry if I chose to give birth differently than you did?

If everyone crosses the finish line then it's not an accomplishment one way or the other.

Giving birth is a huge accomplishment.

It's not really. It's like saying graduating HS is a huge accomplishment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people talk about medicated vs unmedicated a lot when you are pregnant or shortly after birth. It is a pretty normal/expected topic of conversation that many of you anxious ladies consider a huge invasion of privacy, just like when people ask if you’re breastfeeding or planning to send your kid to daycare or whatever. It is a socially expected line of conversation. Most of the times I have shared info about the births of my children, it’s been because someone asked - not because I felt like bragging about either experience. It’s normal for people who are getting ready to or just gave birth to be thinking about it, asking questions, sharing. Sometimes that is a good moment of connection. Often as demonstrated by this thread, it becomes another opportunity to make yourself feel superior by cutting another woman down. Great job, OP. You’ve made everyone feel great about their birthing choices.

This is OP and I genuinely do want everyone to feel good about their births.

So you think bragging about your own experience, knowing that it is a very bad experience for some women, is going to help?? It's like telling a kid with an abusive parent how "amazing and affirming" your parents are. Do you think it's going to somehow magically change the other person's parent? No. You are doing it because you want to feel "better than". When in reality, you were just extraordinarily lucky.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people talk about medicated vs unmedicated a lot when you are pregnant or shortly after birth. It is a pretty normal/expected topic of conversation that many of you anxious ladies consider a huge invasion of privacy, just like when people ask if you’re breastfeeding or planning to send your kid to daycare or whatever. It is a socially expected line of conversation. Most of the times I have shared info about the births of my children, it’s been because someone asked - not because I felt like bragging about either experience. It’s normal for people who are getting ready to or just gave birth to be thinking about it, asking questions, sharing. Sometimes that is a good moment of connection. Often as demonstrated by this thread, it becomes another opportunity to make yourself feel superior by cutting another woman down. Great job, OP. You’ve made everyone feel great about their birthing choices.

This is OP and I genuinely do want everyone to feel good about their births.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people talk about medicated vs unmedicated a lot when you are pregnant or shortly after birth. It is a pretty normal/expected topic of conversation that many of you anxious ladies consider a huge invasion of privacy, just like when people ask if you’re breastfeeding or planning to send your kid to daycare or whatever. It is a socially expected line of conversation. Most of the times I have shared info about the births of my children, it’s been because someone asked - not because I felt like bragging about either experience. It’s normal for people who are getting ready to or just gave birth to be thinking about it, asking questions, sharing. Sometimes that is a good moment of connection. Often as demonstrated by this thread, it becomes another opportunity to make yourself feel superior by cutting another woman down. Great job, OP. You’ve made everyone feel great about their birthing choices.

This is OP and I genuinely do want everyone to feel good about their births.

Anonymous wrote:I think people talk about medicated vs unmedicated a lot when you are pregnant or shortly after birth. It is a pretty normal/expected topic of conversation that many of you anxious ladies consider a huge invasion of privacy, just like when people ask if you’re breastfeeding or planning to send your kid to daycare or whatever. It is a socially expected line of conversation. Most of the times I have shared info about the births of my children, it’s been because someone asked - not because I felt like bragging about either experience. It’s normal for people who are getting ready to or just gave birth to be thinking about it, asking questions, sharing. Sometimes that is a good moment of connection. Often as demonstrated by this thread, it becomes another opportunity to make yourself feel superior by cutting another woman down. Great job, OP. You’ve made everyone feel great about their birthing choices.

Anonymous wrote:Also giving birth is a huge accomplishment. Why can’t women be proud of however they gave birth? Be proud you went unmedicated whether in a hospital or at home with candles galore. Be proud you chose every intervention possible. Be proud that you had one plan and then pivoted again and again as the situation deemed necessary. Whatever your path was, you are entitled to feel proud abd if you wanna share so share.

This thread reeks of internalized misogyny and so much side eye and subtle scorn towards women who want to share and are proud of their birth story. I get how when people gloat and think they are better than it is annoying, but that isn’t about births, that’s their personality. Stop making women pay for bad personalities by making it about one type of birth or another. I think women (and all people for that matter) should feel amazingly proud and free to share if they’ve been through something as incredible as making a baby with their body.

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t get it. At all.