Anonymous
03/14/2023 16:44
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you can’t afford enough hotel rooms to make people feel comfortable on the vacation, you can’t afford the “vacation.” Three rooms or don’t go. Just no. YOU are the crazy ILs everyone complains about, and you’re not even ILs yet!!!
You act as if the BF is required to join. He’s free to say ‘no, thank you’ or pay for a room if the arrangements are not to his liking.
…and never hear the end of it from the “It’s FINE, what’s the big DEAL” types like OP. They’ll gossip about how difficult or uppity he is.
Op here. Not sure what I said to make you think I’d talk about him that way. I would not think less of him if he didn’t want to go. He grew up in a lower income home and has hardly traveled outside of his home state, so he is very happy and excited to be included. We enjoy his company and look forward to sharing this trip with him.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 16:24
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
My 20 year old has been invited on vacation with his GF's family and they always allow him to stay with her.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 16:06
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you can’t afford enough hotel rooms to make people feel comfortable on the vacation, you can’t afford the “vacation.” Three rooms or don’t go. Just no. YOU are the crazy ILs everyone complains about, and you’re not even ILs yet!!!
You act as if the BF is required to join. He’s free to say ‘no, thank you’ or pay for a room if the arrangements are not to his liking.
…and never hear the end of it from the “It’s FINE, what’s the big DEAL” types like OP. They’ll gossip about how difficult or uppity he is.
You clearly have not read OP's follow up. The guy sounds totally go-with-the-flow and so do OP's kids. OP is going to ask her daughter. So out of touch to suggest a vacation cannot be a vacation if the accommodations are not to your standards.
I hope OP is also going to give her other kids a say. I get that they're used to cramming, but given a choice between bunking with their parents vs. bunking with the other "kids" they might well prefer to room with their sister and her BF.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 15:54
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Anonymous wrote:I would never put the unmarried couple in the same room. I would plan to be gone, and let them know, "the rest of us are leaving for the evening. We'll be home at 10pm" Plan, inform, and don't come home before that.
Ew what? You’re inviting them to have sex in a bed someone else is sleeping in? And giving them the exact time they’re allowed to? Rather than just let two adults share a room and have some privacy? That’s just gross.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 15:51
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you can’t afford enough hotel rooms to make people feel comfortable on the vacation, you can’t afford the “vacation.” Three rooms or don’t go. Just no. YOU are the crazy ILs everyone complains about, and you’re not even ILs yet!!!
Bullsh*t. My family vacations were one hotel room for a family of 5.
F-A-M-I-L-Y. Not family and one random friend or significant other. That’s against fire code, BTW. That’s against hotel policy at many places. Not that types like you care.
If they were smashing 5 people into a hotel room, they weren't staying at The Four Season, more like Motel 6 where it's common.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 15:47
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you can’t afford enough hotel rooms to make people feel comfortable on the vacation, you can’t afford the “vacation.” Three rooms or don’t go. Just no. YOU are the crazy ILs everyone complains about, and you’re not even ILs yet!!!
You act as if the BF is required to join. He’s free to say ‘no, thank you’ or pay for a room if the arrangements are not to his liking.
…and never hear the end of it from the “It’s FINE, what’s the big DEAL” types like OP. They’ll gossip about how difficult or uppity he is.
You clearly have not read OP's follow up. The guy sounds totally go-with-the-flow and so do OP's kids. OP is going to ask her daughter. So out of touch to suggest a vacation cannot be a vacation if the accommodations are not to your standards.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 15:45
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Can people stop suggesting 3 rooms now? OP said they're used to piling 5 into a room. 3 rooms ain't happening here.
Then the boyfriend tagging along just shouldn’t be happening. It’s just weird and inappropriate to make your two teenage kids share a room with your adult daughter and her boyfriend (regardless of whether they claim to be okay with it) and also wildly unfair to expect your two teenage kids to bunk with their parents for a vacation so that adult daughter and boyfriend(who presumably aren’t contributing to the vacation cost) can have their own room.
It's 3 college kids and a HS kid so I really don't think it's that weird. When I was in college I piled into many a hotel room with 6+ people, some I knew better than others.
There’s a big difference between you opting to sleep with a group of friends/acquaintances when traveling on a vacation of your choosing versus being forced by your parents to share a room with your sister and her boyfriend.
I missed where OP said she was forcing this young man to come on vacation. That changes my answer entirely. There is no bedroom arrangement that makes up for that.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 15:44
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Yes, I'd get them their own room and a bowl of condoms.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 15:44
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you can’t afford enough hotel rooms to make people feel comfortable on the vacation, you can’t afford the “vacation.” Three rooms or don’t go. Just no. YOU are the crazy ILs everyone complains about, and you’re not even ILs yet!!!
Bullsh*t. My family vacations were one hotel room for a family of 5.
F-A-M-I-L-Y. Not family and one random friend or significant other. That’s against fire code, BTW. That’s against hotel policy at many places. Not that types like you care.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 15:42
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you can’t afford enough hotel rooms to make people feel comfortable on the vacation, you can’t afford the “vacation.” Three rooms or don’t go. Just no. YOU are the crazy ILs everyone complains about, and you’re not even ILs yet!!!
You act as if the BF is required to join. He’s free to say ‘no, thank you’ or pay for a room if the arrangements are not to his liking.
…and never hear the end of it from the “It’s FINE, what’s the big DEAL” types like OP. They’ll gossip about how difficult or uppity he is.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 14:34
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Anonymous wrote:If you can’t afford enough hotel rooms to make people feel comfortable on the vacation, you can’t afford the “vacation.” Three rooms or don’t go. Just no. YOU are the crazy ILs everyone complains about, and you’re not even ILs yet!!!
You act as if the BF is required to join. He’s free to say ‘no, thank you’ or pay for a room if the arrangements are not to his liking.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 14:30
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Can people stop suggesting 3 rooms now? OP said they're used to piling 5 into a room. 3 rooms ain't happening here.
Then the boyfriend tagging along just shouldn’t be happening. It’s just weird and inappropriate to make your two teenage kids share a room with your adult daughter and her boyfriend (regardless of whether they claim to be okay with it) and also wildly unfair to expect your two teenage kids to bunk with their parents for a vacation so that adult daughter and boyfriend(who presumably aren’t contributing to the vacation cost) can have their own room.
It's 3 college kids and a HS kid so I really don't think it's that weird. When I was in college I piled into many a hotel room with 6+ people, some I knew better than others.
There’s a big difference between you opting to sleep with a group of friends/acquaintances when traveling on a vacation of your choosing versus being forced by your parents to share a room with your sister and her boyfriend.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 14:27
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
I would never put the unmarried couple in the same room. I would plan to be gone, and let them know, "the rest of us are leaving for the evening. We'll be home at 10pm" Plan, inform, and don't come home before that.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 14:24
Subject: Re:Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
When I was 24 years old I went on a family reunion cruise paid for by my fiance's (now husband) grandparents and I shared a bunk room with his 20 year old sister and 21 year old year old cousin. It was cramped but fine. Nobody made me go. I didn't need to always share a bed with fiance, we lived together anyway.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 14:22
Subject: Re:Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:They’re adults. Let them sleep together. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to sleep in a room with my MIL and SIL, so I’d likely decline any trip that has that stipulation. He may feel the same.
No, boys and girls rooms until marriage. You want to promote this behavior in front of the siblings?
Ooh what “behavior”?
Apparently PP expects them to go at it while the siblings are in the room