Anonymous
03/30/2023 20:51
Subject: This is shaping up to be an awful death (vent)
I’m very sorry for the suffering your father and you had to endure. As a fellow only child, I fear being in a similar position. Thank you for sharing your experience—your post and the contributions of others has been very helpful. I hope your memories of happier times can provide some comfort after this ordeal.
Anonymous
03/30/2023 09:26
Subject: This is shaping up to be an awful death (vent)
Anonymous wrote:OP, he is 90. He is dying. He is sick. Him not being happy/him wanting this to be over does not have to do with his care, whether it's optimal or not. It's not about the move. He asks to die because that is what he's ready for. It's common. It's horrible to watch, to have to watch but it is not at all unusual. Please know that you are doing everything right, and ordinary. It's not like you can make this much better.
Btw, I attended a seminar on the elderly that said, the common statement of, "I want to go home" does not mean what we assume. It's not a physical place. The elderly is expressing that they want things to be the way they use to be. They want to be who they use to be.
Brings to mind the quote "You can't go home again"
Anonymous
03/20/2023 16:14
Subject: Re:This is shaping up to be an awful death (vent)
You have my sympathy, OP. Big hugs.
Anonymous
03/20/2023 15:12
Subject: This is shaping up to be an awful death (vent)
I'm so sorry for your loss. And I'm even more sorry that it was such a difficult death for him.
Anonymous
03/20/2023 12:02
Subject: Re:This is shaping up to be an awful death (vent)
OP here. Thanks again for checking in; this thread has been a great help during this process.
He passed away a few hours after my last post. It was very difficult. I appreciate all the support and ideas everyone has posted; please know that it was very valuable to me.
He passed away a few hours after my last post. It was very difficult. I appreciate all the support and ideas everyone has posted; please know that it was very valuable to me.
Anonymous
03/20/2023 09:14
Subject: This is shaping up to be an awful death (vent)
OP, ask his doctors if they can help with his wish to go, painlessly. Many doctors will allow patients to pass as they wish.
Anonymous
03/20/2023 09:13
Subject: This is shaping up to be an awful death (vent)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Nice to live in Canada where we are vilified in the world media for allowing medical aid in dying for pretty everything now including the early stages of Alzheimer's. A kind, peaceful end of life giving us incredible peace of mind in old age. You will have PTSD after this. Unbelievable that they also ration out anxiety meds to dying people.
Follow the money, it's always about that. Your elder care industry makes a huge profit forcing people to pay for their own horrible deaths. I love the suggestion to starve and dehydrate to death as an alternative. It's actually a brutal way to go but keep your heads in the sand and do nothing to change your system.
What do you propose we do to change the system?
Change it to mirror Canada? I mean, I hate to state the obvious but . . . it works there.
Anonymous
03/20/2023 09:11
Subject: This is shaping up to be an awful death (vent)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Nice to live in Canada where we are vilified in the world media for allowing medical aid in dying for pretty everything now including the early stages of Alzheimer's. A kind, peaceful end of life giving us incredible peace of mind in old age. You will have PTSD after this. Unbelievable that they also ration out anxiety meds to dying people.
Follow the money, it's always about that. Your elder care industry makes a huge profit forcing people to pay for their own horrible deaths. I love the suggestion to starve and dehydrate to death as an alternative. It's actually a brutal way to go but keep your heads in the sand and do nothing to change your system.
+1 blunt but accurate
Entirely accurate. And it's disgusting. THere was a Post article a couple years back about a woman who starved herself, and refused water, to hasten her death b/c she was not allowed to be "euthanized" in any manner. It was terribly hard to read.
Anonymous
03/20/2023 08:36
Subject: Re:This is shaping up to be an awful death (vent)
Op, I recently went through this as well. The almost last days were more peaceful becasue my family member was extreme medicated. Then the end was hard again with the labored breathing.
Wishing you the best, and hopefully a peaceful passing for your father.
Wishing you the best, and hopefully a peaceful passing for your father.