Anonymous wrote:My husband and I make a point to say "Thanks for making dinner. Thanks for doing the dishes. etc" to each other. When our kids were little, we would prompt them to do the same by saying "What do you want to say thank you for?". Sometimes, they wouldn't say anything but other times, they would get really specific and it was cute. ("Thanks for the ketchup! Teehee").

Now that they are older- 7 and 10- they independently say things like "thanks for dinner, mom". or "thanks for getting the kind of bread that I like.". It really warms my heart and makes me feel proud of them.

I have a friend who thinks its crazy to say thank you to a parent for fulfilling a basic need like feeding you dinner. But I see it has gentle practice of life skills that will get you far in adulthood. No consequence for not saying anything but lots of positive reinforcement if they do.

My teenage daughter regularly thanks me for stuff I do, in particular if she knows I have a busy day already, or if it’s something above and beyond the basic needs. She’s not a hugger or an I-love-you kind of kid, but I know she sees and appreciates what I do for her. And I’m a lot more likely to go out of my way for her because I know she’ll appreciate it, and she’ll reciprocate by helping out a bit more without being asked when I’m swamped or not feeling well.

And I’m 100% positive she’s like this because her dad and I are appreciative of each other’s efforts, and we’ve always made it a point to say so in front of her. Kids need to see it modeled over and over again, even if adults don’t necessarily need constant public repetition of something that’s well-understood privately.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I thank each other for everything, including cooking dinner (he thanks me) and cleaning up dinner (I thank him). When he does cook dinner, I always thank him even though I don't particularly like it when he cooks; and I always clean and he thanks me.

There are a lot DH and I get wrong, but this is one thing we get right. We thank each other for taking out the trash, doing laundry, handling dinner and homework and bedtime if one of us has to work late, etc.

Why?

Oh dear. Outlook not so good.

My husband and I make a point to say "Thanks for making dinner. Thanks for doing the dishes. etc" to each other. When our kids were little, we would prompt them to do the same by saying "What do you want to say thank you for?". Sometimes, they wouldn't say anything but other times, they would get really specific and it was cute. ("Thanks for the ketchup! Teehee").

Now that they are older- 7 and 10- they independently say things like "thanks for dinner, mom". or "thanks for getting the kind of bread that I like.". It really warms my heart and makes me feel proud of them.

I have a friend who thinks its crazy to say thank you to a parent for fulfilling a basic need like feeding you dinner. But I see it has gentle practice of life skills that will get you far in adulthood. No consequence for not saying anything but lots of positive reinforcement if they do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if the DH does everything but the DW doesn’t ever say thank you

Barring chronic debilitating illness or serious injury, if you directly benefit from the labor of your spouse on a regular basis, but never acknowledge it and contribute nothing yourself, you’re an entitled, self centered jerk.

Even if you have a debilitating illness or injury, unless you are unconscious or can't speak, you can still express gratitude for those providing your care and running the household. In fact you should express even MORE gratitude if you are not contributing at all, even if it is not within your control.

Anonymous wrote:My family thanks me for making dinner, but if they don’t like it, they tell me that too.

Me too! Watch out, Tom Sietsema, my daughter is coming after your job! (To be fair, she's a great cook.)

I wake up in the morning and thank god every day

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I thank each other for everything, including cooking dinner (he thanks me) and cleaning up dinner (I thank him). When he does cook dinner, I always thank him even though I don't particularly like it when he cooks; and I always clean and he thanks me.

There are a lot DH and I get wrong, but this is one thing we get right. We thank each other for taking out the trash, doing laundry, handling dinner and homework and bedtime if one of us has to work late, etc.

+1 we also thank our daughter when she does things around the house, etc.

You thank her for making her bed everyday?

I’m the poster that actually posted about thanking my kid. And actually, I don’t care about her making her bed everyday. But yes, I generally thank her when she does things that are her chores — like putting away her laundry or unloading the dishwasher. I probably don’t do it 100% of the time. But we just naturally says thank you a lot around our house. I mean, I do appreciate it when she does the things she is supposed to do. Just like I appreciate my husband doing the laundry and taking out the trash. I think the general spirit of thankfulness at our house is a nice thing.

So you agree it’s silly to say think you to some things, like making your bed.

You thank your H for doing his own laundry?

Nobody is saying that you should not appreciate a kind living house hold, but specifically saying thankful for not being a slob is weird to some.

It really comes down to the “do you want a cookie” for just doing stuff normal people do.

I’m sorry, can you point to a post where any spouse thanked their husband for doing “his own” laundry? We’re talking about thanking each other for doing THE laundry, as in the household laundry. As in everyone’s clothes, sheets, and towels. Can you please show me the post where it is recommended that a spouse thank the other spouse for making literally their own dinner, that only they personally eat?

What an interesting life you lead, having arguments and getting worked up over things literally no one said.

For the example of thanking a child for making a bed, it’s more thanking them for taking those extra minutes to be responsible, because children are still young and learning and prone to forgetting or ignoring household rules and norms. If you’ve ever thanked your child even once for setting the table, brushing their teeth without being reminded, or packing their own suitcase, you are a *massive* hypocrite.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We thank the cook and the migrants, farmers who pick up the vegetables for us to eat. Not jesus, he'll no

Migrant farmers? That’s weird. Isn’t that like blaming Latinos for drug problems?

What are you talking about? There are farmworkers— who work harder than probably anyone in the DMV— who moves around harvesting crops according to what’s ripe in different parts of the country.

Anonymous wrote:We thank the cook and the migrants, farmers who pick up the vegetables for us to eat. Not jesus, he'll no

Migrant farmers? That’s weird. Isn’t that like blaming Latinos for drug problems?

*hell no

We thank the cook and the migrants, farmers who pick up the vegetables for us to eat. Not jesus, he'll no

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. We model this for our kids too. We expect that everyone at the table thanks the person who prepared the meal. They don't have to say it tastes great if they don't think it does, but they do have to say thank you for cooking.

We do this too. I also try to say thank you for other chores I notice he’s done - taking out the trash, putting gas in the car, washing dishes. Even if it is my turn to cook and his turn to wash, we both say thank you.

+1. Reason for our happy marriage.

Yes I expect it. It is polite -- it's what I do when he cooks or when I visit others' homes and they cook for me.

But I wouldn't pick a fight over this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I thank each other for everything, including cooking dinner (he thanks me) and cleaning up dinner (I thank him). When he does cook dinner, I always thank him even though I don't particularly like it when he cooks; and I always clean and he thanks me.

There are a lot DH and I get wrong, but this is one thing we get right. We thank each other for taking out the trash, doing laundry, handling dinner and homework and bedtime if one of us has to work late, etc.

+1 we also thank our daughter when she does things around the house, etc.

You thank her for making her bed everyday?

I’m the poster that actually posted about thanking my kid. And actually, I don’t care about her making her bed everyday. But yes, I generally thank her when she does things that are her chores — like putting away her laundry or unloading the dishwasher. I probably don’t do it 100% of the time. But we just naturally says thank you a lot around our house. I mean, I do appreciate it when she does the things she is supposed to do. Just like I appreciate my husband doing the laundry and taking out the trash. I think the general spirit of thankfulness at our house is a nice thing.

So you agree it’s silly to say think you to some things, like making your bed.

You thank your H for doing his own laundry?

Nobody is saying that you should not appreciate a kind living house hold, but specifically saying thankful for not being a slob is weird to some.

It really comes down to the “do you want a cookie” for just doing stuff normal people do.

This you people are ridiculous. Thanking each other for wiping your own asses

Anonymous wrote:Yes. We model this for our kids too. We expect that everyone at the table thanks the person who prepared the meal. They don't have to say it tastes great if they don't think it does, but they do have to say thank you for cooking.

We do this too. I also try to say thank you for other chores I notice he’s done - taking out the trash, putting gas in the car, washing dishes. Even if it is my turn to cook and his turn to wash, we both say thank you.