Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 16:18     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Women should contribute 50% to the relationship, including financially.


I agree


Men earn more than women. Shouldn’t contributions be proportional to income?


Maybe 50 years ago but DH and I each earn roughly half the income.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 16:04     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:My sex life is mine regardless of relationship status. As a newly divorced woman, I am appreciating how much I - and so many women I know - think of having sex and our sexuality in terms of another person and a relationship.

And honestly - I cannot imagine being with exclusive with someone again if sex is not a priority for both of us.


And ... when I hear friends say about themselves "oh - i have a low libido," the first thing I think of is that they just don't want sex with their husband, and that with a different person and/or without all of the other going-ons of marriage, they may get their groove back 9speaking from direct experience)
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 16:03     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:Way too many wives put being a mom first over their marriage and then act surprised when DH cheats or leaves or their marriage suffers otherwise.


Okay man-baby.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 15:57     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:long-term monogamy and sexual desire are incompatible. I am not sure this is unpopular, but people certainly don't want to acknowledge that monogamy as we know it has dire, dire consequences.


Agree. It should be okay to not want sex after 20 years of a marriage.

To not want sex with the same person.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 15:54     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
My sex life is mine regardless of relationship status. As a newly divorced woman, I am appreciating how much I - and so many women I know - think of having sex and our sexuality in terms of another person and a relationship.

And honestly - I cannot imagine being with exclusive with someone again if sex is not a priority for both of us.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 15:53     Subject: Re:Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:Most women (and men) choose poorly.


A more generous and probably accurate perspective is that most people suck.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 15:51     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sex is not a need, it is a want or desire. Nobody ever died from not having it. Don't accept "I have to get my needs met" as an excuse for anything, it just rationalizes bad behavior, lack of self control, and misunderstanding of actual biological needs.


You are deeply in need of good sex. It has amazing benefits to the mind and body.




Agreed! Stating sex - whether partnered or solo - is not a need is like saying exercise is not a need - but lack of exercise (however it is defined) has huge consequences on quality of life.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 15:50     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Women should contribute 50% to the relationship, including financially.


I agree


Men earn more than women. Shouldn’t contributions be proportional to income?
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 15:33     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sex is not a need, it is a want or desire. Nobody ever died from not having it. Don't accept "I have to get my needs met" as an excuse for anything, it just rationalizes bad behavior, lack of self control, and misunderstanding of actual biological needs.


Thank you for the perspective of a sex negative fourth wave feminist.


Not sure why this is getting so much blowback. If you washed up alone on a desert island, it’s the lack of food and/or water, not the lack of sex, that would eventually kill you. It’s just a fact.


Some people want to do more in this life than just survive.


Well, sure, but that doesn’t make it a need, any more than any other pleasurable but non-life sustaining activity.


+1. When your focus is on your sex life, eventually you are going to be disappointed: hormones shift, erectile dysfunction, weight fluctuations, etc….enjoy sex, but if it’s the summit of what you need for happiness, brace for impact.


+1

What if your spouse is asexual, or addicted to porn, for examples - but presents as "normal" to the outside world, even flirtatious?
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 15:32     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:Too many men and women make too many excuses for being overweight, obese, and out of shape. Fat acceptance is a bizarre Orwellian concept that characterizes the dystopian nature of many womens attitudes towards their obligation to remain fit sexy and attractive for their partners.

Being fat lazy and out of shape makes you a terrible marital partner.


That society thinks 50 year old woman need to look like they did in their 20s. Women used to be able to age and grandmothers weren’t sexy. Now women are made to feel like failures if they don’t weigh the same at 50 as they did at 25. Life was so much better when it was socially acceptable to age and be matronly.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 15:32     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In age gap relationships*, the younger, hotter person has all the power.

*celebrity relationships don’t count.


Why is that? I never claimed to understand age gap relationships, in my defense - but the ones I know of, the older person has all the money, and the younger person has many, many family members.


(to support)
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 15:32     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:In age gap relationships*, the younger, hotter person has all the power.

*celebrity relationships don’t count.


Why is that? I never claimed to understand age gap relationships, in my defense - but the ones I know of, the older person has all the money, and the younger person has many, many family members.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 15:27     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:If one partner withholds sex for a long time, the other partner is wholly justified if he or she decides to have an affair.


I agree
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 15:19     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
If one partner withholds sex for a long time, the other partner is wholly justified if he or she decides to have an affair.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 14:49     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:long-term monogamy and sexual desire are incompatible. I am not sure this is unpopular, but people certainly don't want to acknowledge that monogamy as we know it has dire, dire consequences.


Agree. It should be okay to not want sex after 20 years of a marriage.


And cutting off sex should be seen as equivalent to an affair.