Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And by the way if you can take another 401k loan to pay off your cc immediately that would be the smartest move I can think of for you. You would save 4k a year by doing just that, which you can put right back in your 401 k

Dp here. I have done this! The 401k loan was paid off in less than 5 years and it took care of the CC interest rate and you are essentially paying yourself, which is way better psychologically. I have been debt free since then! It is wa

Anonymous wrote:And by the way if you can take another 401k loan to pay off your cc immediately that would be the smartest move I can think of for you. You would save 4k a year by doing just that, which you can put right back in your 401 k

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The credit cards have the 30-30% interest rate. The 401K loans and car loans are 5%.

Sell a car and replace it with a reliable beater. Maybe both. There is no place in your new financial life for paying on two car loans on cars that are in danger of going upside-down.

This is bad advice. Keep the cars. No more restaurants and budget your groceries. Can you do without the dog walker or cut back? The exercise will be good for you even with a bad back. If you don't exercise and stay mobile over 50, you will end up with even worse medical issues!

We dug ourselves out of 100k of debt after daycare with twins. It is you and your spouse. Also don't totally take divorce off the table. Take care of your credit cards and increae your 401k as much as ypu can. Also if you have a joint account create and allotment to go to a seperate account where you can pay everything you need to. I am happy your DH is talking to you about money but if he wants to ruin his finances, he can manage that fine without you. Sorry to be harsh about that but it sounds like you have been trying to manage a bad marriage for awhile (401k loan) and it is okay to get a divorce. You need to be happy!

It's bad advice on the numbers, but it is good behavioral advice.

Pp. Used cars are still extremely expensive post-pandemic. Like there are 10 year old cars going for 12k. They probably could sell 1 car but they would run into transportation issues fairly quicklu with both working. That isn't stress they want to deal with on top of financial stress. That would actually make the situation worse because they would just go out and buy a new car.

+1. We tried to buy a used car last year and it just did not make financial sense at all. Ended up with a new Subaru instead (but we had a decent downpayment to keep monthly payments reasonable).

But anyway, OP has a lot of potential fat to cut before needing to sell a a car. Eating out, cigars, random amazon purchases, whatever is included in the "pampering" category. That should free up several hundred dollars a month.

But we know from their past behavior that they will not be able to do all of that consistently. So cutting one of the bigger items—a consumable—is a good idea for them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The credit cards have the 30-30% interest rate. The 401K loans and car loans are 5%.

Sell a car and replace it with a reliable beater. Maybe both. There is no place in your new financial life for paying on two car loans on cars that are in danger of going upside-down.

This is bad advice. Keep the cars. No more restaurants and budget your groceries. Can you do without the dog walker or cut back? The exercise will be good for you even with a bad back. If you don't exercise and stay mobile over 50, you will end up with even worse medical issues!

We dug ourselves out of 100k of debt after daycare with twins. It is you and your spouse. Also don't totally take divorce off the table. Take care of your credit cards and increae your 401k as much as ypu can. Also if you have a joint account create and allotment to go to a seperate account where you can pay everything you need to. I am happy your DH is talking to you about money but if he wants to ruin his finances, he can manage that fine without you. Sorry to be harsh about that but it sounds like you have been trying to manage a bad marriage for awhile (401k loan) and it is okay to get a divorce. You need to be happy!

It's bad advice on the numbers, but it is good behavioral advice.

Pp. Used cars are still extremely expensive post-pandemic. Like there are 10 year old cars going for 12k. They probably could sell 1 car but they would run into transportation issues fairly quicklu with both working. That isn't stress they want to deal with on top of financial stress. That would actually make the situation worse because they would just go out and buy a new car.

+1. We tried to buy a used car last year and it just did not make financial sense at all. Ended up with a new Subaru instead (but we had a decent downpayment to keep monthly payments reasonable).

But anyway, OP has a lot of potential fat to cut before needing to sell a a car. Eating out, cigars, random amazon purchases, whatever is included in the "pampering" category. That should free up several hundred dollars a month.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The credit cards have the 30-30% interest rate. The 401K loans and car loans are 5%.

Sell a car and replace it with a reliable beater. Maybe both. There is no place in your new financial life for paying on two car loans on cars that are in danger of going upside-down.

This is bad advice. Keep the cars. No more restaurants and budget your groceries. Can you do without the dog walker or cut back? The exercise will be good for you even with a bad back. If you don't exercise and stay mobile over 50, you will end up with even worse medical issues!

We dug ourselves out of 100k of debt after daycare with twins. It is you and your spouse. Also don't totally take divorce off the table. Take care of your credit cards and increae your 401k as much as ypu can. Also if you have a joint account create and allotment to go to a seperate account where you can pay everything you need to. I am happy your DH is talking to you about money but if he wants to ruin his finances, he can manage that fine without you. Sorry to be harsh about that but it sounds like you have been trying to manage a bad marriage for awhile (401k loan) and it is okay to get a divorce. You need to be happy!

It's bad advice on the numbers, but it is good behavioral advice.

Pp. Used cars are still extremely expensive post-pandemic. Like there are 10 year old cars going for 12k. They probably could sell 1 car but they would run into transportation issues fairly quicklu with both working. That isn't stress they want to deal with on top of financial stress. That would actually make the situation worse because they would just go out and buy a new car.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to get a grip! We have no excuses anymore. We make enough money and still life paycheck to paycheck. We spend around $1500 a week on anything other than regular bills like rent, utilizes, car payments, minimum on credit cards… To stay on the budget I put together that would pay $500 a month over the minimum on the credit cards, and $500 a month in savings, we would need to only spend $800 a week on the costs we have more control over. Is that even feasible? There are only two of us.

OP we need to know more. What are your bills exactly where is the money going each month? Are you eating out a lot? Drink a lot? "We spend around $1500 a week on anything other than regular bills" WHERE is that $1500 going each week? This isn't clear at all.

Here's a good idea of where our money goes each week.

250.00 Groceries
60.00 Gas
35.00 Subscriptions
200.00 Eating out
200.00 Clothes, jewelry
100.00 haircuts, skin care, etc
60.00 Dog walker
70.00 House cleaner (I have a bad back and cleaning is really hard for me- every two weeks at 140 each time)
150.00 Amazon- things for house, misc.
200.00 Medical- copays, prescriptions, supplements
100.00 Cigars- husband
25.00 Dog food
50.00 Dog- vet, meds, etc
1,500.00

So I see that we can spend less on just about everything if we grocery shop more carefully, eat at home, stop shopping for clothes and other things we really don't need.

This is so easy why do you need help just do it.
Cancel all subscriptions TODAY. STOP EATING OUT. NO CIGARS! USE what up everything you have in the house/food/soap/shampoo before replacing anything. $300 a week on Clothes, jewely, haircuts, skin care, etc? You literally spend money like its your FT job. If someone handed me $1500 a week I HAD to spend, I wouldn't have time to! The medical dog and vet stuff co-pays a week seem very high are you going to the doctor 2x a week? What meds do you take that are $800 a month that you pay out of pocket for? Can you walk your own dog? Also what meds is the dog on for $50 a week or $200 a month?

To me this is insane. Literally just stop spending money except for food at the grocery store but only do this after you eat and use up all the stuff you already have at the house. Purge everything by using it up, food, toiletries. Use that saved money to start paying off the loans and CC bills. STOP USING THE CC for anything, NOTHING. Use your bank debit card only. Honestly you sound like a shopaholic with a hoarded home with spending $800 a month on clothes, and $400 on cosmetics a month! You can possibly wear all those clothes and use all those cosmetics up. What spend so much what are you possibly buying on Amazon for $600 a month? I mean literally all you need to do is stoping spending it then use that money for your CC and loan. Why is this hard to understand? I'm perplexed by this post. Honestly.

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I'm probably overly sensitive to all of this. It's hard to face that you've made such a mess of things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The credit cards have the 30-30% interest rate. The 401K loans and car loans are 5%.

Sell a car and replace it with a reliable beater. Maybe both. There is no place in your new financial life for paying on two car loans on cars that are in danger of going upside-down.

This is bad advice. Keep the cars. No more restaurants and budget your groceries. Can you do without the dog walker or cut back? The exercise will be good for you even with a bad back. If you don't exercise and stay mobile over 50, you will end up with even worse medical issues!

We dug ourselves out of 100k of debt after daycare with twins. It is you and your spouse. Also don't totally take divorce off the table. Take care of your credit cards and increae your 401k as much as ypu can. Also if you have a joint account create and allotment to go to a seperate account where you can pay everything you need to. I am happy your DH is talking to you about money but if he wants to ruin his finances, he can manage that fine without you. Sorry to be harsh about that but it sounds like you have been trying to manage a bad marriage for awhile (401k loan) and it is okay to get a divorce. You need to be happy!

It's bad advice on the numbers, but it is good behavioral advice.

Anonymous wrote:OP here-

Thank you all for your help. I’m too embarrassed to talk to people in person. And you all didn’t roast me! You’ve been so encouraging and helpful.

I’m getting therapy and I’ll fess up to the therapist about how bad this issue is.

We’re in our 50’s and having no savings at this age is horrible and I’m ashamed of that. All kids have moved out and on their own so it’s just two of us. We shouldn’t be spending more than we did with all the kids at home.

I have control of the finances but I have a hard time not spending money or telling my husband he needs to stop. Last night I let my husband know how much debt we have and how much we’re spending. He says he’s on board. Now I need to follow through.

I’m not sure about what to pay first- my job is very secure and my 401K has a really low interest rate, so that should probably be left until later. I think either the credit cards or taxes needs to be paid off first. And I’m upside down on both vehicles so they need some of the principal paid off. That’s what happens if you pay more than the minimum, right? Our interest rates are high- 30-36%. We have some with really low amounts but the fees are high. If I pay those off and close the accounts, does that affect my credit rating?

Thanks again!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, go straight to You Need a Budget and sign up for the free month trial.

https://www.youneedabudget.com

I promise you, this is a great way to track your expenses and start living within your means. It has changed so many lives!

There are a lot of videos to help you get started. I will never be without YNAB again.

YNAB is for highly motivated people who are already doing the work on saving and budgeting. Do not suggest this as a first step for anyone.