Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why “a man is not a plan” and marrying comfortable/well off are somehow mutually exclusive, or why marrying wealthy somehow means not also making money.

I would much rather my daughter have her career prospects widened and her stress level lowered by marrying a man with money than have to choose every job based on whether she can keep a roof over her head.

Money is a major factor in divorce and lower HHI corresponds to higher divorce rate. No one gives you a medal for marrying a poor partner and struggling and acting like people who marry wealthy don’t marry for love is ridiculous.

I'd rather my daughter be able to keep a roof over her head independently of a man.

She marry wealthy as well

I think you misread. Of course my daughter will be able to keep a roof over her head, but I would like her to have what I do which is the freedom to choose jobs based on more than finances, which is only possibly in a household with two high earners.

It's also possible if she chooses her career wisely and isn't stupid. Another person often influences career choices and it's often the woman who sacrifices

Anonymous wrote:It’s not gold digging to want to marry someone who can add to the stability you can already provide for yourself. At a certain point if you want to leverage your life and keep a lot of balls in the air it takes two people. Sure I can support myself and my kid on my FT income of $220K but I could have more kids and a higher quality of life for us all if I marry someone who makes the same or more. That’s just common sense. And also, what happens if one of you gets sick or disabled? Or life happens? As PP said, relying on one income is a stool with one leg.

And what happens when the husband becomes disabled or life happens?. Divorce and onto the next husband?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is with the repeated threads in recent months about meeting and marrying wealthy people? Do that many of the posters on this site crave wealth and use it as a yardstick for measuring dates? Do people just hope to stop working as soon as possible in their lives and live off what a spouse brings to the marriage? How transactional and mercenary. Yeah, I'm judging and I own the fact I'm judging. It just screams "I want to be 'kept.'" And no amount of excuses like "But! I only desire for our kids to want for nothing!" or "I fear being poor because I was raised poor" or other supposed "reasons" could stop this thinking from being mercenary.

The bolded is your answers.

Also, it's a sign of the times. The growing divide between the haves and the have nots are forcing people (particularly) women to be strategic in who they marry and procreate with. Wealth begets wealth.

Also, successful people in the public eye keeping telling the masses "Who you marry is the most important decision you will make".

People have taken that statement and have turned it into a religion.

'
Then these women out to marry rich men had better pray for great pre-nups. They should read all the cheating posts, then all the divorce posts, on DCUM, and act accordingly, assuming their rich men will eventually cheat on them and possibly leave. Get pre-nups so you and the spawn will at least get some cash out of daddy when he trots off with his affair partner, or knocks her up and has another kid to pay for.

Cynical? Eh, only about as cynical as getting married so one can be a kept woman. Nice old-fashioned term, "kept woman," and DCUM is bringing the idea back, so we should just start using the term again.

A little humility never hurt anyone

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not.

If you go for money, you will likely have to give up something else - age, looks, or personality. No free rides most the time.

Why dont women understand everything comes with a price.

In reality, there are many women like OP. That’s why many women are chasing after top 1-5% guys in online dating. Most women may not say it like OP did but that’s how they behave. And then they wonder why they can’t find good dates or keep their men..

And then they resort to banging some other woman’s husband trying to get in through the back door. Lol

I think if this is your goal then you need to search for older guys. A) they're more established. B) you may have aged out of guys your age if they want a sweet young thing to start a big family with. It might need to be a widower or a divorcee (I suppose the latter is probably going to be less rich than the former).

And yeah, I married a poor young guy and then he turned rich. Perhaps that is easier, IDK. I was young and convinced we'd land on our feet no matter what. So far, so good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened to marrying someone you love and are absolutely crazy about? Marriage and kids are hard, and if you don’t have a foundation built on genuine love and trust, I don’t imagine a marriage will be healthy and happy.

But why not fall in love and be crazy about someone rich?

You don’t “choose” who you fall in love with. Love picks you.

Oh please. This is nit high school

You are no fun..

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened to marrying someone you love and are absolutely crazy about? Marriage and kids are hard, and if you don’t have a foundation built on genuine love and trust, I don’t imagine a marriage will be healthy and happy.

But why not fall in love and be crazy about someone rich?

You don’t “choose” who you fall in love with. Love picks you.

Oh please. This is nit high school

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why “a man is not a plan” and marrying comfortable/well off are somehow mutually exclusive, or why marrying wealthy somehow means not also making money.

I would much rather my daughter have her career prospects widened and her stress level lowered by marrying a man with money than have to choose every job based on whether she can keep a roof over her head.

Money is a major factor in divorce and lower HHI corresponds to higher divorce rate. No one gives you a medal for marrying a poor partner and struggling and acting like people who marry wealthy don’t marry for love is ridiculous.

I grew up middle class, started my professional life rather poor, and married a lower/middle-income man because he was the first person to really treat me well. I was 34 and had had a string of horrible relationships and wanted to get married and have kids. Clock was ticking, so I gave up looking for money in a partner and hoped for the best.

It's been...ok. I love him and there is a ton of goodness in our marriage. But we still struggle financially, especially here in NOVA, and it is a CONSTANT source of stress.

I still think I made the right decision given where I was in life at the time. But money does matter, and if I had my life to live over I might have thought about a partner's earning capacity, even while I still worked myself (which I will always do).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not.

If you go for money, you will likely have to give up something else - age, looks, or personality. No free rides most the time.

Why dont women understand everything comes with a price.

In reality, there are many women like OP. That’s why many women are chasing after top 1-5% guys in online dating. Most women may not say it like OP did but that’s how they behave. And then they wonder why they can’t find good dates or keep their men..

Anonymous wrote:If you want to get rich by marrying someone, I think the old fashioned way of finding a rich old guy is the best method. Do the elder care well and with Grace. Being a sexy nurse is really hard work and if you take good care of someone when they’re old, you deserve the money.

When I was in high school, I worked nights as a janitor at the university. The old guy I worked with said, "What are you doing working here? A good looking gal like you should just marry a rich old fart and set him up in front of a draft!"

He also said that when he retired, he was gonna grow that marijuana. "I see these young guys with their new pickup trucks. I know how they make their money!"

He had a lot of wisdom.

How about a niche rice guy?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened to marrying someone you love and are absolutely crazy about? Marriage and kids are hard, and if you don’t have a foundation built on genuine love and trust, I don’t imagine a marriage will be healthy and happy.

But why not fall in love and be crazy about someone rich?

You don’t “choose” who you fall in love with. Love picks you.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a rich lifestyle but its better be your own earning or inheritance. However, you can marry for money, if you are really materialistic. Just don't pretend to be in love with the guy, that's dishonesty.

Anonymous wrote:I think this question is kind of weird but I’ll bite. I met DH when he was late 20s and was making less than $100k/year. He’s now late 30s and makes seven figures. If I had been looking for someone with a certain income at that age, I think I would have filtered out most of the nice guys.

... and married a 40 year old balding divorced dad of two.