Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 14:26     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you not ask to look at his drivers license on the first date?


Op here. I personally wouldn’t have issues showing my DL to anyone . But I also know it can be fake from my work experience. Online screening is best imho


A woman who asks to see my DL on my first date, ugh, I will say “no, and we’re done now, there will be no second date, enjoy the rest of your day.”


And yet a woman was just murdered in Texas from a man she met from OL dating a week prior.


And how would have seeing his license prevented her murder?
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 14:25     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you the same op as the video dates thread



Why would that matter? I do video dates sometimes, this guy said he wasn't comfortable with a video date. He was more attractive in real life than on photos. Btw I had a video date with someone else just recently who really liked me. He immediately offered his actual phone number, job place, position, connect on LinkedIn. Name matched the number and location on google, he is an involved dad. I liked that openness, and although he's not as tall/hot, he is more educated, has well established career and better mannered.

Men don't realize they also have a competition for female attention and we will drop out if they try to install privacy locks on everything about them online. We live in modern world: it's not like I expect everyone to twit or Facebook but something should come up about a person when you google IMHO.

This also comes from my experience in hospitality business; when you don't check an ID and someone's name doesn't match the phone number on google it ends up in 90% cases with credit card fraud.

I am not a stalker (god forbid never call men first, or text them first). But ultimate purpose of dating is to find a sexual and hopefully life partner, and I want that search to be transparent.


So the answer to the question is yes.
I asked because the style of writing was similar and your 2 threads together suggest you have an unusual amount of anxiety about dating.
You are also highly defensive.
To answer your question about how you would get to know someone without using social media etc, you would have to spend time with them and learn about them.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 14:23     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you not ask to look at his drivers license on the first date?


Op here. I personally wouldn’t have issues showing my DL to anyone . But I also know it can be fake from my work experience. Online screening is best imho


A woman who asks to see my DL on my first date, ugh, I will say “no, and we’re done now, there will be no second date, enjoy the rest of your day.”


And yet a woman was just murdered in Texas from a man she met from OL dating a week prior.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 14:08     Subject: Re:Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would actually prefer a man who doesn't waste his time on social media.


He's early 50s. No Linkedin either? That's very unusual I myself have no Instagram and very sleepy Facebook but active Linkedin.


If he’s 50 with a stable job, he has no need for linked in. I wouldn’t find this odd at all.


Outside of government, there is no such thing as a stable job.


And yet we live in an area in which the most government jobs are in the country. (insert eyeroll)
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 14:06     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have no online presence. We hate social media.

OP, I don't understand what your problem is.


Did you google your names? Even if you are not active on social media something should come up if you used a landline at some point, file tax returns, owned or rented property. Spouses names usually appear next to each other.

That is all unless you paid a service to erase everything (which I find suspicious, many guys with criminal history would do this)


There's nothing much, OP, actually. Maybe the house we bought with our names, that's all. We do not have any social media accounts, Linked In, FB, Insta, Twitter, etc.



The house matching your name is sufficient. I was concerned he has absolutely no traces online which I only saw so far with credit card fraudsters


DP. You’ve already convinced yourself this is a credit card scammer and scheduled a date with someone else. So move on, lady. Social media is apparently important to you in a relationship. Great, now you know. I say this man dodged a bullet.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 14:03     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:I think the idea that getting to know someone means online research vs meeting and talking to them is bizarre.

You can get to know him in person! You would be dating the person, not an online version of them.

I have a very minimal online presence. If someone said they wouldn't date me because of that, I would breathe a sigh of relief!


Exactly
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 14:00     Subject: Re:Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:If I liked the person I would go on a second date, but in a public place. And I would continue to find out more before I did anything more risky, like go on a hike or to their house or give out my address.


He knows my address if he google by the first name and phone number, it pops up
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 13:29     Subject: Re:Date has no online presence
If I liked the person I would go on a second date, but in a public place. And I would continue to find out more before I did anything more risky, like go on a hike or to their house or give out my address.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 12:41     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have no online presence. We hate social media.

OP, I don't understand what your problem is.


+1
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 12:36     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have no online presence. We hate social media.

OP, I don't understand what your problem is.


Did you google your names? Even if you are not active on social media something should come up if you used a landline at some point, file tax returns, owned or rented property. Spouses names usually appear next to each other.

That is all unless you paid a service to erase everything (which I find suspicious, many guys with criminal history would do this)


There's nothing much, OP, actually. Maybe the house we bought with our names, that's all. We do not have any social media accounts, Linked In, FB, Insta, Twitter, etc.



The house matching your name is sufficient. I was concerned he has absolutely no traces online which I only saw so far with credit card fraudsters
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 11:44     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have no online presence. We hate social media.

OP, I don't understand what your problem is.


Did you google your names? Even if you are not active on social media something should come up if you used a landline at some point, file tax returns, owned or rented property. Spouses names usually appear next to each other.

That is all unless you paid a service to erase everything (which I find suspicious, many guys with criminal history would do this)


There's nothing much, OP, actually. Maybe the house we bought with our names, that's all. We do not have any social media accounts, Linked In, FB, Insta, Twitter, etc.

Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 11:39     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you not ask to look at his drivers license on the first date?


Op here. I personally wouldn’t have issues showing my DL to anyone . But I also know it can be fake from my work experience. Online screening is best imho


A woman who asks to see my DL on my first date, ugh, I will say “no, and we’re done now, there will be no second date, enjoy the rest of your day.”


I don’t ask for that - it was someone else’s suggestions. But men who are transparent do refer me to their Linkein profiles and vice versa. It’s the analogue of the modern ID verification. In fact I heard some dating sites use LinkedIn to verify employment and ID as well. I think it’s a great idea no desire messing up with married or promiscuous men who hide identities
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 11:36     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you not ask to look at his drivers license on the first date?


Op here. I personally wouldn’t have issues showing my DL to anyone . But I also know it can be fake from my work experience. Online screening is best imho


A woman who asks to see my DL on my first date, ugh, I will say “no, and we’re done now, there will be no second date, enjoy the rest of your day.”
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 10:38     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have no online presence. We hate social media.

OP, I don't understand what your problem is.


Did you google your names? Even if you are not active on social media something should come up if you used a landline at some point, file tax returns, owned or rented property. Spouses names usually appear next to each other.

That is all unless you paid a service to erase everything (which I find suspicious, many guys with criminal history would do this)
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 10:33     Subject: Date has no online presence
My husband and I have no online presence. We hate social media.

OP, I don't understand what your problem is.