Anonymous
Post 12/13/2022 22:39     Subject: Re:is DH being an unreasonable brat, or am i stressed and being too sensitve?
OP it is one weekend and you said it was to celebrate him.

Of course he doesn't want to be watching the kids while he is trying to spend time with friends.

You are wrong here.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2022 22:31     Subject: Re:is DH being an unreasonable brat, or am i stressed and being too sensitve?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Woman here and I totally disagree. It’s one weekend. You can arrange childcare. If it were a woman being fêted for some combo of 40th bday and making partner, she would be fuming that she had to ask, and that DH was giving her chores to do for her own celebration, and tasking her with childcare all weekend. And people here would be saying “tell him what you want.” OP, if you’re going to celebrate him, and people are coming in from out of town, do it right. Don’t be passive aggressive.


OP here. I don't think that parenting in our home for the 6 hours before a party starts is giving my DH chores or tasking him with childcare all weekend. He is implying that he should be able to/wants to basically be MIA the whole weekend and the party and the kids are my responsibility. As in, if he wants to spend the morning and afternoon before the event golfing with his college buddies, he should be able to, and the kids are my responsibility. AKA he gets to check out completely from any responsibility.

What you posted here is completely reasonable. You are being a brat.

You will also have guests around that you are responsible for as the host. You should hire childcare so that you’re not running in a million directions. Or you should have hired a party planner to run the event and you handle the kids.


I think it’s not *unreasonable* but if it’s not what she offered he should be asking nicely rather than assuming he gets to take this and run. If my DH had a lot of friends in town who he doesn’t get to see often I would want to facilitate as much time with them as possible. But I would not throw a giant party that required oversight by me because I don’t have a lot of people who can handle my kids. So basically him acting entitled is gross but what he wants is not. In my opinion. It’s just a shame you guys didn’t have a discussion about what you were willing to take on/what he wanted- if he wanted a weekend with the guys that is easy enough to facilitate but maybe not the same time as a big party.

Also dying to know what the big milestone is… please tell us. I’m assuming it’s not something that remotely merits all of this (because unless he got elected president I can’t think what would) but I’m SO curious

If these people are coming into town it’s the perfect time for him to spend time with his guests. Spending a second weekend with his friends would result in 1000% more complaints from OP.


No, I agree with you but if he really wants a chill no responsibility weekend they didn’t need to have this party. I wonder if they invited people from out of town not expecting they would come and then when they said yes it went from being a party to being a weekend with a party as a big activity. Anyway it just sounds like a lot and maybe not what OP signed up for, so I am sympathetic even though I think the husband should be able to spend time with the out of town guests.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2022 22:30     Subject: Re:is DH being an unreasonable brat, or am i stressed and being too sensitve?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Woman here and I totally disagree. It’s one weekend. You can arrange childcare. If it were a woman being fêted for some combo of 40th bday and making partner, she would be fuming that she had to ask, and that DH was giving her chores to do for her own celebration, and tasking her with childcare all weekend. And people here would be saying “tell him what you want.” OP, if you’re going to celebrate him, and people are coming in from out of town, do it right. Don’t be passive aggressive.


OP here. I don't think that parenting in our home for the 6 hours before a party starts is giving my DH chores or tasking him with childcare all weekend. He is implying that he should be able to/wants to basically be MIA the whole weekend and the party and the kids are my responsibility. As in, if he wants to spend the morning and afternoon before the event golfing with his college buddies, he should be able to, and the kids are my responsibility. AKA he gets to check out completely from any responsibility.

What you posted here is completely reasonable. You are being a brat.

You will also have guests around that you are responsible for as the host. You should hire childcare so that you’re not running in a million directions. Or you should have hired a party planner to run the event and you handle the kids.


Strong disagree! If op’s husband were getting married this would be absurd and babyish on his part! But he’s not getting married, he’s probably finished his urology residency or something. Imagine if genders were swapped-it would read as a bizarre demand which it is.

Nope.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2022 22:30     Subject: Re:is DH being an unreasonable brat, or am i stressed and being too sensitve?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking maybe he got tenure? Idk. So curious.

OP isn’t going to say because then people will realize it’s actually something big that should be celebrated.


yes. That is the point of this post. OP is refusing to celebrate her husband's accomplishment.

Glad you agree!
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2022 22:28     Subject: Re:is DH being an unreasonable brat, or am i stressed and being too sensitve?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Woman here and I totally disagree. It’s one weekend. You can arrange childcare. If it were a woman being fêted for some combo of 40th bday and making partner, she would be fuming that she had to ask, and that DH was giving her chores to do for her own celebration, and tasking her with childcare all weekend. And people here would be saying “tell him what you want.” OP, if you’re going to celebrate him, and people are coming in from out of town, do it right. Don’t be passive aggressive.


OP here. I don't think that parenting in our home for the 6 hours before a party starts is giving my DH chores or tasking him with childcare all weekend. He is implying that he should be able to/wants to basically be MIA the whole weekend and the party and the kids are my responsibility. As in, if he wants to spend the morning and afternoon before the event golfing with his college buddies, he should be able to, and the kids are my responsibility. AKA he gets to check out completely from any responsibility.

What you posted here is completely reasonable. You are being a brat.

You will also have guests around that you are responsible for as the host. You should hire childcare so that you’re not running in a million directions. Or you should have hired a party planner to run the event and you handle the kids.


Strong disagree! If op’s husband were getting married this would be absurd and babyish on his part! But he’s not getting married, he’s probably finished his urology residency or something. Imagine if genders were swapped-it would read as a bizarre demand which it is.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2022 22:27     Subject: is DH being an unreasonable brat, or am i stressed and being too sensitve?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s partner. Something bigger.


Maybe publishing his first novel?


Good thinking. If if were lame, people would vote with their feet and not come. OP, give him his moment.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2022 22:22     Subject: Re:is DH being an unreasonable brat, or am i stressed and being too sensitve?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking maybe he got tenure? Idk. So curious.

OP isn’t going to say because then people will realize it’s actually something big that should be celebrated.


yes. That is the point of this post. OP is refusing to celebrate her husband's accomplishment.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2022 22:21     Subject: Re:is DH being an unreasonable brat, or am i stressed and being too sensitve?
Anonymous wrote:All so weird. I wish the OP had swapped the genders in the first post and the responses would've been so different


Yes, because we know if the genders were swapped anything short of a woman drawing a hard line in the sand would have her handling every detail of her own party and managing her family while her husband treated it as a time for him to relax and visit.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2022 21:56     Subject: Re:is DH being an unreasonable brat, or am i stressed and being too sensitve?
Anonymous wrote:Woman here and I totally disagree. It’s one weekend. You can arrange childcare. If it were a woman being fêted for some combo of 40th bday and making partner, she would be fuming that she had to ask, and that DH was giving her chores to do for her own celebration, and tasking her with childcare all weekend. And people here would be saying “tell him what you want.” OP, if you’re going to celebrate him, and people are coming in from out of town, do it right. Don’t be passive aggressive.


Yeah I think this is true.
Just let him know that he can take the time as long as he doesn't try to micromanage how you cover the need for help
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2022 21:47     Subject: is DH being an unreasonable brat, or am i stressed and being too sensitve?
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s partner. Something bigger.


Maybe publishing his first novel?
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2022 21:44     Subject: is DH being an unreasonable brat, or am i stressed and being too sensitve?
I don’t think it’s partner. Something bigger.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2022 21:35     Subject: Re:is DH being an unreasonable brat, or am i stressed and being too sensitve?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking maybe he got tenure? Idk. So curious.

OP isn’t going to say because then people will realize it’s actually something big that should be celebrated.


Tenure was my thought as well, but I also agree with this.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2022 21:18     Subject: Re:is DH being an unreasonable brat, or am i stressed and being too sensitve?
All so weird. I wish the OP had swapped the genders in the first post and the responses would've been so different
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2022 21:18     Subject: Re:is DH being an unreasonable brat, or am i stressed and being too sensitve?
Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking maybe he got tenure? Idk. So curious.

OP isn’t going to say because then people will realize it’s actually something big that should be celebrated.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2022 21:12     Subject: Re:is DH being an unreasonable brat, or am i stressed and being too sensitve?
I’m thinking maybe he got tenure? Idk. So curious.