My best friend was never getting married and never wanted kids in college. She eventually got married and had 2 DC. Not sure what she would say or her choices now, but things change.

I have 5 nieces and nephews. Only 2 married and only 1 has DC. They range from 26- 37. It is not uncommon in this generation.

Anonymous wrote:I knew when i was very young I did not want kids til I was at least 40. And that is what I did.

Same, though my age to decide was 38.

Anonymous wrote:DD is at a Top 20 college and has declared she doesn’t want kids because they’re expensive.
It makes me sad but at the same time, I blame myself because I keep reminding her how pricey college/clothing/housing is.
I’m just trying to ignore her declaration but it’s hard.

Young adults say lots of things. I said the same and now I have one who I adore. But it IS expensive and you cannot be upset if she foregoes those things.

Anonymous wrote:I said the same thing when I was in college! But now I am 49 years old with 3 children because I changed my mind back at about age 27.

PP here. My mom never once pressured me for grandchildren. She kind of did the opposite -- urged me to have a big career. So perhaps that helped -- that she did not pressure me. (Also, my DH was excited to have kids, and so that contributed as well to my changing my mind. No regrets, even though my kids bring me both the greatest joy, and some pretty sad/difficult moments as well.)

I said the same thing when I was in college! But now I am 49 years old with 3 children because I changed my mind back at about age 27.

Anonymous wrote:I did not want kids. I have them. I'm miserable. My mom pressured me to get married and have kids when I did not want to. I was in my early 30s. I barely speak to her now.

I often wonder how people who changed their minds feel about their decision. I too resent my mom for pushing her grandchildren agenda on me.

I knew when i was very young I did not want kids til I was at least 40. And that is what I did.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Np, and I think your daughter is smart. If I could do it again, I doubt I would have children.

Why?
Do you think it is overrated ?

The realities of parenting constantly change. It's not overrated, but it's more layered and complex than I bargained for. Namely, that it never ends, and in many ways, the complexities intensify and morph as they get older.

There are so many phases to parenting that, looking back, the stage of raising young, sweet, and innocent kids was the easiest. My young adult kids suffer from anxiety and depression, and I feel increasingly ill-equipped to handle the challenges, which I think are a hallmark of their generation. Overall, today's young people seem unhappy and emotionally unwell, and I question if this state will persist into future generations.

Future parents need to be mindful that they are birthing the next generation, and in many ways, that is nearly impossible to plan for without a crystal ball. What matters today may be irrelevant in 15/20 years, and you will have raised them with obsolete values. Knowing what I know about the current world, I wouldn't have intentionally brought children into it because it's too challenging to navigate.

The op's daughter is wise beyond her years to question if parenting is right for her. I wish I had given it more profound thought and not been led by biological pull.

Anonymous wrote:Np, and I think your daughter is smart. If I could do it again, I doubt I would have children.

I'm curious too. If I could do it over again, I would have had more.

Smart!

Anonymous wrote:Np, and I think your daughter is smart. If I could do it again, I doubt I would have children.

Why?
Do you think it is overrated ?

I will say she is very smart.
If my DD said it I wouldn’t disagree with her.

Np, and I think your daughter is smart. If I could do it again, I doubt I would have children.

We have 3 kids ages 20-25 and all of them expressed not wanting to have kids of their own...though I still think at least some of them will probably change their minds at some point.

Good for her.