Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We teach women they don't need to even start getting serious about men until their early 30s. By then, a single 32-year-old man is looking for a woman in her 20s.
We can mock the women who settled down in their early 20s as not being modern, ambitious, independent, motivated, or smart. Women are told that making marriage a priority in her 20s makes her a loser.
Then she gets into her 30s and says "I'm ready to settle down" and she can't find anyone.
A woman who makes marriage a priority at age 23 is sort of a rebel today. Seriously. She is going against the grain of her peers, bucking the message society keeps sending her and doing the opposite.
Maybe it's the message society is sending you?
I'm a repeat poster on here, married to a "boring" but great guy.. I would never tell my DD to get serious at 23. Ever. I would discourage it. Neither of my nieces got serious at 23. They were still trying to figure out their careers, and grow up themselves. My sister got married at 23, and she regrets it to this day. She told her DDs (my nieces) to not get married so young.
You can find nice guys in your late 20s, early 30s, but they won't be that unicorn: good looking, makes a lot of money, good partner/father, and faithful. If you manage to find this unicorn, you are supremely lucky. But, most guys, and most people for that matter, don't have the entire package. And if a woman is waiting for that whole package, more than likely, she'll be waiting for a very very long time.
That doesn't mean you have to settle, but it does mean your expectations should be realistic.
I snagged my good guy when I was 30.
The vast majority of friends, acquaintances, and family members I know who married in their 20s divorced. The vast majority of us who waited until our 30s are still married. I was such a different person at 25/26 from who I was at 30. I'm glad I had the chance to experience a lot before settling down and I think I valued myself more because of it. For women being in a relationship often degrades their self confidence so I would never encourage young marriages. You can always tell the women who did this.
I felt like I had a lot of choices of nice guys to date seriously in my 30s but I worked in a very male dominated area. Where you work can have a huge impact on your potential partners.
Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of it is I knew what I was worth. I didnt waste time messing around with guys who didn't treat me how I deserved.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This thread is so dated. Tell your daughters to snag a degree that will enable the life they want.
This^. A solid degree and a stable career serve you better than any guy with perceived or real potential. One in hand is better than two in the air.
Anonymous wrote:Because of my work, I collaborate with a lot of Gen Z guys who are/will become rich. As in, they start a business flat broke and make half a million dollars within six months. A lot of them do want to marry young, and I can tell you EXACTLY what they want:
- Absolutely no gold diggers. They expect a woman they marry to make good money and have her own goals.
- They approach it like a business partnership and look for who will advance their own goals the most.
- Zero interest in “hot” girls because they don’t want women who are gold diggers or materialistic because it’s a waste of money. They prefer a woman who is a 4-5, rather than a 10 who was fake eyelashes and designer clothes.
- But, they all date the 10 for a year or two before dumping her for a suitable wife.
- A lot of them go to church and marry women from their church.
- Zero time for anything like insecurity. If, say, a woman expresses she feels insecure about her looks, they bail because they don’t want to waste time on that.
It all sounds good in theory, but a lot have unrealistic expectations. Sort of like, they think their wife will be a full time housewife while also helping to run their business and owning a business of her own doing something like raising alpacas for wool.
Anonymous wrote:The answer here is easy. Most women marry a man just like their father. I had a fantastic father and knew just what to look for in a spouse and future father of my children. I always felt like I was worthy of love and deserved it.
Anonymous wrote:Because of my work, I collaborate with a lot of Gen Z guys who are/will become rich. As in, they start a business flat broke and make half a million dollars within six months. A lot of them do want to marry young, and I can tell you EXACTLY what they want:
- Absolutely no gold diggers. They expect a woman they marry to make good money and have her own goals.
- They approach it like a business partnership and look for who will advance their own goals the most.
- Zero interest in “hot” girls because they don’t want women who are gold diggers or materialistic because it’s a waste of money. They prefer a woman who is a 4-5, rather than a 10 who was fake eyelashes and designer clothes.
- But, they all date the 10 for a year or two before dumping her for a suitable wife.
- A lot of them go to church and marry women from their church.
- Zero time for anything like insecurity. If, say, a woman expresses she feels insecure about her looks, they bail because they don’t want to waste time on that.
It all sounds good in theory, but a lot have unrealistic expectations. Sort of like, they think their wife will be a full time housewife while also helping to run their business and owning a business of her own doing something like raising alpacas for wool.
Anonymous wrote:One guy who proposed to me (in my 20's )is a renowned physician now. I knew he had huge potential but i didn't love him nor did i want to wait and struggle for a decade. I'm glad I didn't put ten years of my life on hold for his potential.
Anonymous wrote:This thread is so dated. Tell your daughters to snag a degree that will enable the life they want.
Anonymous wrote:This thread is so dated. Tell your daughters to snag a degree that will enable the life they want.
Anonymous wrote:Because of my work, I collaborate with a lot of Gen Z guys who are/will become rich. As in, they start a business flat broke and make half a million dollars within six months. A lot of them do want to marry young, and I can tell you EXACTLY what they want:
- Absolutely no gold diggers. They expect a woman they marry to make good money and have her own goals.
- They approach it like a business partnership and look for who will advance their own goals the most.
- Zero interest in “hot” girls because they don’t want women who are gold diggers or materialistic because it’s a waste of money. They prefer a woman who is a 4-5, rather than a 10 who was fake eyelashes and designer clothes.
- But, they all date the 10 for a year or two before dumping her for a suitable wife.
- A lot of them go to church and marry women from their church.
- Zero time for anything like insecurity. If, say, a woman expresses she feels insecure about her looks, they bail because they don’t want to waste time on that.
It all sounds good in theory, but a lot have unrealistic expectations. Sort of like, they think their wife will be a full time housewife while also helping to run their business and owning a business of her own doing something like raising alpacas for wool.
Anonymous wrote:What are all these happy marriages you folks are seeing and wishing for? I literally can't think of a single married couple I know where I think both partners got a good deal.