Anonymous wrote:Can I just say I came in here to answer but seeing all the responses I want to let you know I had a second and he’s a freaking adorable smush and I didn’t know I could love both my kids so much because I adore my first kid. So I’m just gushing that you should have a second only if YOU want one and they can both be your everything
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Don't use one child to benefit another child. You should stick with only
A million times this. I chose to have a second because I wanted a second not because of any imagined deficiency my older would experience as an only child.
Anonymous wrote:Don't use one child to benefit another child. You should stick with only
Anonymous wrote:I'm another single parent to a toddler who has debated the same question. I'm 99% sure my child will be an only now even though I haven an embryo left.
Here is how I decided:
I think as a single parent I have an extra responsibility to stay healthy and active as a parent as I age. I not only worried about the health risk of a pregnancy in my mid-40s, but also I've come to recognize that caring for my body takes a time investment I would not be able to make with a second child.
Financially, I could stretch to make things work for a second child - but it would be at the expense of my first child. I grew up in a large family and it took me years to get out from under my student loan and credit card debt because my parents couldn't support me after 18 or contribute anything to college - too many siblings to pay for.
As I think about gaining free time as my child gets older, I find I am yearning more to focus on myself with that free time than to parent another child. Again, happy parent equals better parent. I think my child is better off having one great, happy, healthy parent than a super-stressed parent + a sibling.
Anonymous wrote:Im an only child. Now that Im the only one who is here to help my old parents it sucks. Because I dont have a sibling to share the load. It is a v diff experience than that which my spouse is having with their old parents (they have a sibling).
Anonymous wrote:As a counterpoint, I am much older than my only sibling and we’ve never been close. We don’t have issues, just never formed much of a relationship. No guarantees in life.
Anonymous wrote:I have a sister but we are 13 years apart so for the first 13 years I was an only child and always remember wanting a sibling. And I love having a sister. My mom was sick and passed away 4 years ago and I cannot imagine going through that without my sister. My Dad remarried and his wife has a range of annoying habits and it’s my sister I can call and complain to and she totally gets it. I am sure there are well adjusted onlies but my life have been lesser than without my sister.