Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to need an example.

+1. Rudeness is rude, but a well timed sarcastic comment is appreciated, whether from an adult or child

+100

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are way too sarcastic and it’s rubbed off on our kids.

When my 8yo starts screeching and whining and having a meltdown, I might put up my feet and say- “they’d nothing like relaxing to the sounds of your children screaming after a long day at work!”

And when my kid goes off to school, they go “bye mom, Can’t wait to go torture myself with another day at school!”

Sounds exhausting to be in your family.

For real. Neither of those are actually funny.

People who lack a sense of humor rely on sarcasm.

There is not clever about sarcasm. It is the absence of wit.

Its a crutch when someone can't actually think of something clever or funny to say. It's the cheapest way to get a laugh

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know at what age sarcasm could go from disrespectful to funny but I can say for sure it’s not 5. My son saying “can’t wait to go clean the playroom” is definitely more rude than funny or clever.

As long as this wasn't tied to my kid actively pushing back against cleaning the playroom I would actually think this was funny and not rude. No one expects adults to go through life doing boring tedious chores with a perpetual smile on their face. Its ok for kids to express negative emotions as long as they aren't being jerks!

It's strange that a lot of people seem to think sarcasm is always humorous, or intended to be. But that's definitely not the case.

I posted upthread about coming from a very sarcastic family and realizing as an adult how toxic it was. My family is not very funny at all, in fact I'd say most of us have pretty weak senses of humor due to family dysfunction and trauma.

Most of the sarcasm I was raised around was just a way of saying unkind, judgmental, or superior things with some ironic distance, so that you could alway say "I was being sarcastic" if someone called you on it. So an example would be this conversation:

My dad: A "B" huh. I guess all that TV time really paid off.
Me: Sure did, good thing I have such loving and involved parents to keep me on the straight and narrow.

Maybe this sounds clever to you, but I've been in therapy long enough to recognize that it's two deeply insecure and hurt people talking around things, trying to score points against each other without actually addressing the massive dysfunction in their relationship. It's not funny, it's uncomfortable. And I'd say that most sarcasm falls in this category. Some people have the wit to deploy it as humor, but 99.9% definitely don't. This includes the vast majority of children.

My kid tells a few great fart jokes, though. I'd stick to that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sarcasm isn’t necessarily biting. For example “nice weather we’re having” in the rain.

No, by very definition, sarcasm is biting. Your example isn’t sarcasm, it’s a form of irony. Not clever irony at all, but that is not sarcasm. Sarcasm has to be biting to be sarcasm. So, without examples from OP, we really don’t know what kind of statements from children OP is actually referring to. True sarcasm from small children is rude. Honestly, sarcasm is almost always rude. That doesn’t make it not funny, of course.

Merriam Webster and Oxford agree with you.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sarcasm

https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/definition/english/sarcasm

Fair enough (NP here). But whether it is "rude" still depends entirely on who or what it is directed at. Sarcasm about oneself = self-deprecation. Sarcasm about a shared clearly bad experience = bonding. Sarcasm about the general world = (probably) just negativity. Sarcasm about the other person (or someone else) = Likely rude (and mean to boot).

So I just don't agree that sarcasm is necessarily rude; I think the problem is that kids are rarely good at it, so it tends to be in the last two categories (of the "Duh!" category) and thus the kid either come off as negative or mean. But I think that sarcasm in the first categories can be a real mood-lightener, where you get to either laugh at yourself or relieve tension about a bad or annoying situation...

According to both of these definitions, it is directed at a person in a negative way. So yes its rude, or its not actually sarcasm, its irony or something else.

Thank you. OP’s post is again validated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sarcasm isn’t necessarily biting. For example “nice weather we’re having” in the rain.

No, by very definition, sarcasm is biting. Your example isn’t sarcasm, it’s a form of irony. Not clever irony at all, but that is not sarcasm. Sarcasm has to be biting to be sarcasm. So, without examples from OP, we really don’t know what kind of statements from children OP is actually referring to. True sarcasm from small children is rude. Honestly, sarcasm is almost always rude. That doesn’t make it not funny, of course.

Merriam Webster and Oxford agree with you.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sarcasm

https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/definition/english/sarcasm

Fair enough (NP here). But whether it is "rude" still depends entirely on who or what it is directed at. Sarcasm about oneself = self-deprecation. Sarcasm about a shared clearly bad experience = bonding. Sarcasm about the general world = (probably) just negativity. Sarcasm about the other person (or someone else) = Likely rude (and mean to boot).

So I just don't agree that sarcasm is necessarily rude; I think the problem is that kids are rarely good at it, so it tends to be in the last two categories (of the "Duh!" category) and thus the kid either come off as negative or mean. But I think that sarcasm in the first categories can be a real mood-lightener, where you get to either laugh at yourself or relieve tension about a bad or annoying situation...

According to both of these definitions, it is directed at a person in a negative way. So yes its rude, or its not actually sarcasm, its irony or something else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sarcasm isn’t necessarily biting. For example “nice weather we’re having” in the rain.

No, by very definition, sarcasm is biting. Your example isn’t sarcasm, it’s a form of irony. Not clever irony at all, but that is not sarcasm. Sarcasm has to be biting to be sarcasm. So, without examples from OP, we really don’t know what kind of statements from children OP is actually referring to. True sarcasm from small children is rude. Honestly, sarcasm is almost always rude. That doesn’t make it not funny, of course.

Merriam Webster and Oxford agree with you.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sarcasm

https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/definition/english/sarcasm

Fair enough (NP here). But whether it is "rude" still depends entirely on who or what it is directed at. Sarcasm about oneself = self-deprecation. Sarcasm about a shared clearly bad experience = bonding. Sarcasm about the general world = (probably) just negativity. Sarcasm about the other person (or someone else) = Likely rude (and mean to boot).

So I just don't agree that sarcasm is necessarily rude; I think the problem is that kids are rarely good at it, so it tends to be in the last two categories (of the "Duh!" category) and thus the kid either come off as negative or mean. But I think that sarcasm in the first categories can be a real mood-lightener, where you get to either laugh at yourself or relieve tension about a bad or annoying situation...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sarcasm isn’t necessarily biting. For example “nice weather we’re having” in the rain.

No, by very definition, sarcasm is biting. Your example isn’t sarcasm, it’s a form of irony. Not clever irony at all, but that is not sarcasm. Sarcasm has to be biting to be sarcasm. So, without examples from OP, we really don’t know what kind of statements from children OP is actually referring to. True sarcasm from small children is rude. Honestly, sarcasm is almost always rude. That doesn’t make it not funny, of course.

Merriam Webster and Oxford agree with you.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sarcasm

https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/definition/english/sarcasm

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor

Incorrect. Puns are the lowest form of humor.

Some puns can be pretty funny. Jokes about bodily functions are stupid and crass.

Anonymous wrote:Sarcasm isn’t necessarily biting. For example “nice weather we’re having” in the rain.

No, by very definition, sarcasm is biting. Your example isn’t sarcasm, it’s a form of irony. Not clever irony at all, but that is not sarcasm. Sarcasm has to be biting to be sarcasm. So, without examples from OP, we really don’t know what kind of statements from children OP is actually referring to. True sarcasm from small children is rude. Honestly, sarcasm is almost always rude. That doesn’t make it not funny, of course.