I only judge people with huge families if they complain about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the only time people will talk about your larger family is if you start to offload your kids onto other people via non-reciprocated play dates, non-reciprocated carpools, kids staying too long at sleepovers, etc. If you can manage everything and pay for what you need, it’s nobody else’s business but your own.

You must miss some of the vitriolic threads about large families on this forum. I don’t because I have a large family. They are hateful.

It isn't just large families.

I saw a family of four with the mom in Trader Joe's. All were cute little redheads and it reminded me of the Weasleys.

I wondered about this too, OP. I have four in a close in MD suburb, and know two other families with four kids, and lots and lots with 3. People will comment- or did, when mine were younger. You will feel a pressure to keep your kids well behaved or people will judge. My group of four could come with me to the grocery store and not get into trouble/cry etc… but I worked really hard at that. Life does get so so much more expensive as they have gotten older. Be prepared. It comes quickly! But I wouldn’t trade it- I love having a big family (husband was one of four, I was one of five, we are marginally religious but that didn’t play any kind of role). Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:The closer to a city you live, the more you understand the financial realities of getting a kid to age 30+.

IME, most folks that have more than 2 think only of being able to afford kids to age 18 and expect social welfare like public colleges and affordable home buying, none of which is realistic anymore.

White redneck welfare expectations is what you have.

Interesting that you don’t point out that public k-12 is social welfare as well

Just don't become seriously ill, die or become disabled before they become adults, or lose your jobs and you'll be fine. Big families are a handful with two capable adults; and more so with one left holding the bag.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone we know have 2. Everyone. Except one couple who had twins in their 2nd pregnancy.

People who had twins in their 1st pregnancy in our circle stopped after having them.

Huh- there are at least three families in my NW elementary school who had a singleton after having twins

I know a couple of these as well and it always surprises me.

Why would it surprise you? Having one baby after dealing with twins feels very easy for many families. This is very common in the multiples world.

Hard pass!

Anonymous wrote:The closer to a city you live, the more you understand the financial realities of getting a kid to age 30+.

IME, most folks that have more than 2 think only of being able to afford kids to age 18 and expect social welfare like public colleges and affordable home buying, none of which is realistic anymore.

White redneck welfare expectations is what you have.

What? I was working full time at 22, married with a kid and house well before 30. If you are planning to support your child financially until 30, you are doing them a disservice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone we know have 2. Everyone. Except one couple who had twins in their 2nd pregnancy.

People who had twins in their 1st pregnancy in our circle stopped after having them.

Huh- there are at least three families in my NW elementary school who had a singleton after having twins

I know a couple of these as well and it always surprises me.

Why would it surprise you? Having one baby after dealing with twins feels very easy for many families. This is very common in the multiples world.

Anonymous wrote:The closer to a city you live, the more you understand the financial realities of getting a kid to age 30+.

IME, most folks that have more than 2 think only of being able to afford kids to age 18 and expect social welfare like public colleges and affordable home buying, none of which is realistic anymore.

White redneck welfare expectations is what you have.

What do you mean “getting a kid to age 30+”. Do you expect to support your kids until they reach the age 30?

Public universities = social welfare? I’m not following. Public universities are getting more expensive along with private universities. Are you saying people with more than 2 kids expect their kids to go to college for cheap and given the rise in tuition, that is no longer realistic?

Anonymous wrote:It’s a big thing on Instagram now for young couples to have a ton of kids and dress them all cute and post about it on instagram. The moms IRL I know with 4+ kids seem always focused on the youngest child and basically ignore the older ones or lump them all together.

Ha! Yes. OP, please never call your first three children "the Bigs."

Anonymous wrote:I have five children. Most people are nice to us and only have positive things to say about our family. At the end of the day, my children are my pride and joy, my life’s work and my greatest accomplishment, so I honestly don’t care how people view having a large family. I work very hard to ensure all their needs are met and their lives are happy.

This was my dream. And then I had two and it truly felt like all I could handle. And they are good kids! Really good kids, but just emotionally high maintenance. Or I just didn't have what it takes. I look at families like yours - the ones that seem loving and functional - and just wish I could have pulled it off. I'm not sure what specifically I was lacking. Extra patience maybe, or greater ability to multi-task, or just not sleep as much. I'm not sure. Congrats.

Anonymous wrote:Almost everyone I know has 3.

3 is the new 2 imo.

One more is not that crazy.

Ditto this

I have five children. Most people are nice to us and only have positive things to say about our family. At the end of the day, my children are my pride and joy, my life’s work and my greatest accomplishment, so I honestly don’t care how people view having a large family. I work very hard to ensure all their needs are met and their lives are happy.

Anonymous wrote:I think the only time people will talk about your larger family is if you start to offload your kids onto other people via non-reciprocated play dates, non-reciprocated carpools, kids staying too long at sleepovers, etc. If you can manage everything and pay for what you need, it’s nobody else’s business but your own.

You must miss some of the vitriolic threads about large families on this forum. I don’t because I have a large family. They are hateful.