Anonymous
Post 08/30/2022 09:30     Subject: 3rd kid at 43.
Anonymous wrote:I had my 3rd at 41 - wanted 4 but was medically prohibited due to complications that were unrelated to age. I still feel like i am missing that 4th child - grew up with a big family, all my friends had big families. I think alot depends on when you had your first kids. I had mine late so this 40s pregnancy happened when we were still in the little kids stage and we live in a neighborhood where there are lot of other parents who put career first in their 20s and early 30s and then had kids. I also don't feel like I want an empty nest sooner. Love the people my kids are and am happy to spend as much time with them as I can. Everyone is different and I'm not sure why so many posters are judging someone feeling like their family isn't complete


We are just pointing out some of the many drawbacks to having kids at an advanced age, that many people seem willing to ignore or overlook. If you die at the age my mom did, your 3rd child will be 20.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2022 08:54     Subject: 3rd kid at 43.
I had my 3rd at 41 - wanted 4 but was medically prohibited due to complications that were unrelated to age. I still feel like i am missing that 4th child - grew up with a big family, all my friends had big families. I think alot depends on when you had your first kids. I had mine late so this 40s pregnancy happened when we were still in the little kids stage and we live in a neighborhood where there are lot of other parents who put career first in their 20s and early 30s and then had kids. I also don't feel like I want an empty nest sooner. Love the people my kids are and am happy to spend as much time with them as I can. Everyone is different and I'm not sure why so many posters are judging someone feeling like their family isn't complete
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2022 08:52     Subject: 3rd kid at 43.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I had my surprise twins at 43. I never wanted kids, but when I found out I was pregnant I thought "what the h*ll. " I don't find the age to be old in the DC region. I felt great and I continued to swim on my masters swim team until 3 days before I delivered.

My 70-something parents rejoiced, joined a gym and became 10 years younger.

Kids are now 12 and we are such calm parents and grandparents. Better at this age!


Now imagine if OP goes for a third and gets surprise twins.


Or special needs.


^This. Raising neurotypical kids is hard enough. If you have two heathy children already and are in your 40s, don't tempt fate.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2022 08:40     Subject: 3rd kid at 43.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I had my surprise twins at 43. I never wanted kids, but when I found out I was pregnant I thought "what the h*ll. " I don't find the age to be old in the DC region. I felt great and I continued to swim on my masters swim team until 3 days before I delivered.

My 70-something parents rejoiced, joined a gym and became 10 years younger.

Kids are now 12 and we are such calm parents and grandparents. Better at this age!


Now imagine if OP goes for a third and gets surprise twins.


Or special needs.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2022 06:57     Subject: Re:3rd kid at 43.
I had my 2nd at 42, so I guess I will be one of those moms that someone so graciously described as older than dirt. We had a successful IVF round and the actual pregnancy was fine for me as far as being pregnant goes. I had extra ultrasounds and a MFM/cardiology check in which was fine.

As you can see on this board, people age differently. Some of it is genetic, some of it is lifestyle. My MIL is about 6-8 years older than my parents but has significantly more energy. So OP, if you have another, doing everything in your power to maintain your health needs to be a priority.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2022 06:21     Subject: 3rd kid at 43.
Anonymous wrote:I had my surprise twins at 43. I never wanted kids, but when I found out I was pregnant I thought "what the h*ll. " I don't find the age to be old in the DC region. I felt great and I continued to swim on my masters swim team until 3 days before I delivered.

My 70-something parents rejoiced, joined a gym and became 10 years younger.

Kids are now 12 and we are such calm parents and grandparents. Better at this age!


Now imagine if OP goes for a third and gets surprise twins.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2022 04:54     Subject: 3rd kid at 43.
How old are the first two? I agree with the other comments about considering the older years. I will drop off my youngest for college in 2 years when I am 50. Can’t imagine being more than 60 at at that point with a third child. Is it really worth it?
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2022 02:49     Subject: Re:3rd kid at 43.
Anonymous wrote:Some of these moms are gonna be old as dirt when their kids are in middle school. [/quote
The thing is, no matter how old they are, the kids will think they’re as old as dirt.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2022 18:53     Subject: 3rd kid at 43.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All of the people saying to go for it are still in the little kid phase and haven’t dropped at kid at college in their 60’s yet.


My grandmother had my aunt(3rd kid) at 47. can’t speak to my grandma‘s experience dropping her off at college but my aunt did ok. She was like an only child though because the age gap was 18 years. My understanding of the situation was that my grandparents were better parents in their late 40s than in their 20s so it’s not all bad. Some people do mellow out and become wiser with age.


Mellowed, or checked out? Can you imagine starting over when your other child is 18???!?


I do think mellowed is the right word. Next time I talk to my aunt and if I remember I’ll ask her. It was a oops pregnancy and they are Catholic.
Personally no - I want a second child but not 18 years later!! May end up with a 4 year age gap if I decide to go for it.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2022 18:43     Subject: 3rd kid at 43.
My pregnancy at 39 was way more painful and difficult than my pregnancy at 34. Even though I think we could handle another kid, if I got pregnant now (at 40) id terminate just bc I don’t want to go through another pregnancy. Aging is real
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2022 18:34     Subject: 3rd kid at 43.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All of the people saying to go for it are still in the little kid phase and haven’t dropped at kid at college in their 60’s yet.


My grandmother had my aunt(3rd kid) at 47. can’t speak to my grandma‘s experience dropping her off at college but my aunt did ok. She was like an only child though because the age gap was 18 years. My understanding of the situation was that my grandparents were better parents in their late 40s than in their 20s so it’s not all bad. Some people do mellow out and become wiser with age.


Mellowed, or checked out? Can you imagine starting over when your other child is 18???!?
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2022 18:28     Subject: 3rd kid at 43.
Anonymous wrote:All of the people saying to go for it are still in the little kid phase and haven’t dropped at kid at college in their 60’s yet.


My grandmother had my aunt(3rd kid) at 47. can’t speak to my grandma‘s experience dropping her off at college but my aunt did ok. She was like an only child though because the age gap was 18 years. My understanding of the situation was that my grandparents were better parents in their late 40s than in their 20s so it’s not all bad. Some people do mellow out and become wiser with age.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2022 16:24     Subject: 3rd kid at 43.
All of the people saying to go for it are still in the little kid phase and haven’t dropped at kid at college in their 60’s yet.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2022 16:24     Subject: Re:3rd kid at 43.
Some of these moms are gonna be old as dirt when their kids are in middle school.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2022 16:07     Subject: 3rd kid at 43.
just had my second three months shy of 43. 5.5 year gap. We tried for years and are so happy and delighted to have DD2. She is a dream - much easier than my first.
Uncomplicated pregnancy and completely doable labor and delivery. bounced back ok as well. If I didn't have fertility issues we would consider a third but feel like our family is complete.