Yawn rich folk problems

Anonymous wrote:Here is what I don't get. Why do father's hand over all their wealth to second and third or fourth families?

Kind of the same reason they often don't choose the spousal benefit for their pensions despite the likelihood of their wife outliving them, get enough life insurance--just a tendency to be selfish and think more about what they want now rather than what they left behind. Not everyone of course, but it tends to happen. Far fewer mothers will treat any biological children this way.

Here is what I don't get. Why do father's hand over all their wealth to second and third or fourth families?

Anonymous wrote:A friend was. The father had a very mistaken second marriage to a gold digger. The second wife abandoned him and everyone begged him to disinherit the second wife. Instead he doubled down, trying to prove that the marriage wasn't a mistake, or so we think. He left everything to her leaving out all of his children and grandchildren.

This is so sad. You always think that people will learn from their mistakes when reality is so obvious, but so often they double down on them. People often love those that abuse them in ways that they don't love those that support them because facing it is too hard.

A friend was. The father had a very mistaken second marriage to a gold digger. The second wife abandoned him and everyone begged him to disinherit the second wife. Instead he doubled down, trying to prove that the marriage wasn't a mistake, or so we think. He left everything to her leaving out all of his children and grandchildren.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i was disinherited by my mother - as were my siblings. We never counted on her for anything so lost zero sleep over her will. We had a modest reconnection with her shortly before she died. She ended up leaving us all a little money - like $50k each. The rest went to well-respected charities. None of us worried about it. If you really lose a connection with someone - you don't really care what they do with their money. I think its harder when there is a stronger connection or a feeling that you have been cheated by a step parent.

You were no disinherited. And $50k is not “a little” money.

I took that to mean PP and siblings had been disinherited and then put back in the will after a reconnection with the mother. And yes, $50K is not a tiny amount of money, but we don't know the size of the estate. The mother was of course entitled to do whatever she wanted with her money.

That's how I interpreted it too.

Yes. I guess what I was trying to say is: When we were disinherited - we didn't care. We didn't expect anything from her. The disinheriting was assumed b/c she was such a spiteful person. Another way to put it - if she had tried to use money as leverage with us - it would have never worked because she was so toxic.

I think it's much harder from an emotional standpoint when you have a stepmother or stepfather who intercepts money or property - such as a family home. It's even more destructive if they take money that was in your family - from say grandparents - and give it to your step sibs who were never part of the biological family.

Yes, it happened to me. Stepmother got everything. Lots of sleazy stuff happened. I don't understand it because we had a good relationship (I thought). I guess money changes people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i was disinherited by my mother - as were my siblings. We never counted on her for anything so lost zero sleep over her will. We had a modest reconnection with her shortly before she died. She ended up leaving us all a little money - like $50k each. The rest went to well-respected charities. None of us worried about it. If you really lose a connection with someone - you don't really care what they do with their money. I think its harder when there is a stronger connection or a feeling that you have been cheated by a step parent.

You were no disinherited. And $50k is not “a little” money.

I took that to mean PP and siblings had been disinherited and then put back in the will after a reconnection with the mother. And yes, $50K is not a tiny amount of money, but we don't know the size of the estate. The mother was of course entitled to do whatever she wanted with her money.

That's how I interpreted it too.

My dad disinherited me. There’s not likely to be any money in his estate so it was all just a weird control tactic. We didn’t get along but I hadn’t done anything to really deserve it. Once I heard about it I was completely done with him - blocked his emails, don’t visit, don’t respond to numerous pleas for money. I’m sure he would like to get visits and see his grandkids but he’s basically dead to me. It’s all just sad and nonsensical.

No, these are rich people problems. My mom died and I got $25K from her insurance policy and a house with an upside down mortgage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i was disinherited by my mother - as were my siblings. We never counted on her for anything so lost zero sleep over her will. We had a modest reconnection with her shortly before she died. She ended up leaving us all a little money - like $50k each. The rest went to well-respected charities. None of us worried about it. If you really lose a connection with someone - you don't really care what they do with their money. I think its harder when there is a stronger connection or a feeling that you have been cheated by a step parent.

You were no disinherited. And $50k is not “a little” money.

I took that to mean PP and siblings had been disinherited and then put back in the will after a reconnection with the mother. And yes, $50K is not a tiny amount of money, but we don't know the size of the estate. The mother was of course entitled to do whatever she wanted with her money.

Anonymous wrote:i was disinherited by my mother - as were my siblings. We never counted on her for anything so lost zero sleep over her will. We had a modest reconnection with her shortly before she died. She ended up leaving us all a little money - like $50k each. The rest went to well-respected charities. None of us worried about it. If you really lose a connection with someone - you don't really care what they do with their money. I think its harder when there is a stronger connection or a feeling that you have been cheated by a step parent.

You were no disinherited. And $50k is not “a little” money.

Anonymous wrote:i was disinherited by my mother - as were my siblings. We never counted on her for anything so lost zero sleep over her will. We had a modest reconnection with her shortly before she died. She ended up leaving us all a little money - like $50k each. The rest went to well-respected charities. None of us worried about it. If you really lose a connection with someone - you don't really care what they do with their money. I think its harder when there is a stronger connection or a feeling that you have been cheated by a step parent.

I agree with you that having the money go to charity is different from having the money go to a step parent who then leaves it to their biological children.