Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The obsession with people “covering their plates” is insane. A wedding is a party that’s all about the couple. If they don’t want to pay for the party then DON’T HAVE ONE. Or have something smaller or cheaper. Don’t have an expensive party and then expect your friends to pay for it AND give you a gift because you’re tacky enough to have a gift registry too.

Sure but you can’t deny that it’s the custom to bring or send a gift to every wedding party you are invited to.

OP went to the reception and didn’t bring a gift!

OP sent a gift ahead of time.

Anonymous wrote:You may think “covering your plates” is tacky but it’s the norm in the tri state area. It is what it is. The fact that OP did not bring a check to the wedding is tacky.

I think it’s tacky for MOB to email her but it may be innocent. She may genuinely think the check got lost somehow. Because, like I said, it’s unusual that people don’t know they have to at least cover their plates! Lol

It is the tacky, money-grabbing norm. New Yorkers are all about money. It's gross.

It may be unusual that people don't know they should pay the invoice in New York, but that doesn't make it common knowledge. Also? Not funny. Just tacky and nasty.

I think you all are misreading bad intentions into this. I actually had several people at my wedding not give a gift or even a card (let alone a check). I didn't expect wedding gifts, but it's weird to not even write a card wishing the couple well! One couple called me months after my wedding asking if I'd received her card (I hadn't cashed her check)- no I hadn't. Somehow it went missing and she rewrote the check. She asked why I hadn't followed up with her when I saw that she hadn't given me a gift or even a card for my wedding.

I also had my aunts and grandma send gifts 6 months before the wedding, same time as my shower. I just assumed they were shower gifts and wrote a thank you for them. Later on I realized that they were my wedding gifts instead and felt really embarrassed that I wrote a thank you that referenced my shower.

For the OP- even if you sent a registry gift, didn't you also write a card for the couple?

Anonymous wrote:The obsession with people “covering their plates” is insane. A wedding is a party that’s all about the couple. If they don’t want to pay for the party then DON’T HAVE ONE. Or have something smaller or cheaper. Don’t have an expensive party and then expect your friends to pay for it AND give you a gift because you’re tacky enough to have a gift registry too.

Sure but you can’t deny that it’s the custom to bring or send a gift to every wedding party you are invited to.

OP went to the reception and didn’t bring a gift!

You may think “covering your plates” is tacky but it’s the norm in the tri state area. It is what it is. The fact that OP did not bring a check to the wedding is tacky.

I think it’s tacky for MOB to email her but it may be innocent. She may genuinely think the check got lost somehow. Because, like I said, it’s unusual that people don’t know they have to at least cover their plates! Lol

The obsession with people “covering their plates” is insane. A wedding is a party that’s all about the couple. If they don’t want to pay for the party then DON’T HAVE ONE. Or have something smaller or cheaper. Don’t have an expensive party and then expect your friends to pay for it AND give you a gift because you’re tacky enough to have a gift registry too.

Grifters be griftin even at their kids wedding

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New Yorkers are so rude! Why would you send a shower gift if you weren't even invited to the shower?

You're a fool.
Learn how to read before judging an entire state falsely. 🙄

Oh no, New Yorkers ARE RUDE and self centered and think everything is about their teeny tiny little metro area (newsflash: it's not). That has nothing to do with this thread, LOL.

Anonymous wrote:New Yorkers are so rude! Why would you send a shower gift if you weren't even invited to the shower?

You're a fool.
Learn how to read before judging an entire state falsely. 🙄

If you don't know the bride, how did her mom have your phone number to text?

Also wow how incredibly rude.

Love regional differences - some people saying giving cash at a wedding is rude, some people say wedding registry gifts are for showers only and you HAVE to give cash at the wedding. I'm from a culture where bridal showers aren't a thing, and cash is king for wedding gifts.

Anonymous wrote:New Yorkers are so rude! Why would you send a shower gift if you weren't even invited to the shower?

She was invited to the shower.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes the norm is that registry gifts are for the shower and you give them cash at the wedding to at least cover your plates plus some extra for the marriage.

Send them a check for $500 and call it a day.

I'm not sending anyone that isn't my high-profile criminal attorney a check for $500.

Or my accountant who helped me dodge an audit. MOB can go jump in a lake.

New Yorkers are so rude! Why would you send a shower gift if you weren't even invited to the shower?

Anonymous wrote:Yes the norm is that registry gifts are for the shower and you give them cash at the wedding to at least cover your plates plus some extra for the marriage.

Send them a check for $500 and call it a day.

I'm not sending anyone that isn't my high-profile criminal attorney a check for $500.