Anonymous wrote:Wow. I went to bed with no responses and now this.

Op here obviously.

I agree that the cops arriving with them at my house was the best outcome in terms of teaching them a lesson. They also needed to hear from them the danger of what they were doing at 10 pm at night. There are definitely people in this community who would meet this incident by bringing a gun to the door if not worse. Most of the kids were white but one friend is black and yes my heart was in my throat thinking about it. He is the one most concerned about wanting to tell his mom himself. I can imagine.

Yes I knew they went to the park and I was ok with it. These kids are 13. It's safe. It is on me that I underestimated their poor decision-making skills.

I will definitely let the parents know after the kids have a chance to speak to them. If I had called them all and sent them home they would have been more upset at me than their kids at that point. The cops were not mad, they were mainly concerned for the kids' safety. Which is crazy but totally realistic.

I’m glad they are all safe. You are handling it well. I posted a year or so ago how my son had friends stay over and they decided to roam the neighborhood at 2am. I don’t know what they were doing but they came home safe without police. I was pretty upset when they told me the next day and later told my son no more sleepovers for a while. DCUM jumped on me saying it was fine for them to go out on their own for a walk in the night.

You just don’t know what a group of 13-14 year olds will think of. I’m glad your boys and mine are safe. Hopefully this was a learning experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No, I am pretty easy going about letting kids be out & about, but 10pm is not safe. If one of the parents was nearby in the car playing on their phone, fine.

I understand. It is half a block away and they had their phones so I was ok with it. That is on me, yes, for not making sure they stayed there. I have 2 older boys so maybe my judgement is skewed since this is the youngest.

I just talked to the one parent who already knew and she basically said, "yes he told me haha boys." I know not all the parents will feel that way. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around the varied responses here though.

I agree with the PP post, OP.

At the very least, you should have gotten the other kids’ parents’ permission first, to go to a park this late at night without supervision.

Anonymous wrote:
No, I am pretty easy going about letting kids be out & about, but 10pm is not safe. If one of the parents was nearby in the car playing on their phone, fine.

I understand. It is half a block away and they had their phones so I was ok with it. That is on me, yes, for not making sure they stayed there. I have 2 older boys so maybe my judgement is skewed since this is the youngest.

I just talked to the one parent who already knew and she basically said, "yes he told me haha boys." I know not all the parents will feel that way. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around the varied responses here though.

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I went to bed with no responses and now this.

Op here obviously.

I agree that the cops arriving with them at my house was the best outcome in terms of teaching them a lesson. They also needed to hear from them the danger of what they were doing at 10 pm at night. There are definitely people in this community who would meet this incident by bringing a gun to the door if not worse. Most of the kids were white but one friend is black and yes my heart was in my throat thinking about it. He is the one most concerned about wanting to tell his mom himself. I can imagine.

Yes I knew they went to the park and I was ok with it. These kids are 13. It's safe. It is on me that I underestimated their poor decision-making skills.

I will definitely let the parents know after the kids have a chance to speak to them. If I had called them all and sent them home they would have been more upset at me than their kids at that point. The cops were not mad, they were mainly concerned for the kids' safety. Which is crazy but totally realistic.

No, I am pretty easy going about letting kids be out & about, but 10pm is not safe. If one of the parents was nearby in the car playing on their phone, fine.

Anonymous wrote:The police have shown up at your house and you think you will text parents later in the day??? All kids parents should have been called immediately and sent home. I question your judgement of allowing kids to go to a park at 10 PM.

Parents called at once, kids sent home immediately.
No kids should be going out to a park as a group after 9pm at that age OP.

A wacko gun nut could have shot them.

Wow. I went to bed with no responses and now this.

Op here obviously.

I agree that the cops arriving with them at my house was the best outcome in terms of teaching them a lesson. They also needed to hear from them the danger of what they were doing at 10 pm at night. There are definitely people in this community who would meet this incident by bringing a gun to the door if not worse. Most of the kids were white but one friend is black and yes my heart was in my throat thinking about it. He is the one most concerned about wanting to tell his mom himself. I can imagine.

Yes I knew they went to the park and I was ok with it. These kids are 13. It's safe. It is on me that I underestimated their poor decision-making skills.

I will definitely let the parents know after the kids have a chance to speak to them. If I had called them all and sent them home they would have been more upset at me than their kids at that point. The cops were not mad, they were mainly concerned for the kids' safety. Which is crazy but totally realistic.

I would 100% tell the parents right away. If police are involved, even if it’s BS over policing, you need to let parents know. I wouldn’t be happy to find out from my kids the next day and you didn’t tell me.
Whether it’s stupid to let kids out at 10pm depends on the ages of the kids and what kind of neighborhood this is. It’s too late for me, but in the summer months with HS / late MS age, it’s not crazy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s crazy that the police brought them home. I don’t think this is nearly the big deal people are making it out to be, other than going to the park at 10 was a dumb idea.

This. It's overzealous policing. Police stopped and picked up kids for walking around? That's ridiculous. What law was broken? Even the ding dong ditch - someone called the cops? Because of . . . why exactly?

That said, even though it was an overreaction, because the police were involved you need to let the other parents know immediately.

And where do you live, OP, that people would open fire because of this?

As an aside, the kids obviously are white, because otherwise we'd be reading about this in the paper, and a few of them would be dead.

Totally agree with everything here. We did far worse things in middle and high school and we all turned out to be well functioning and law abiding adults.
Is ding, dong, ditch a crime in some jurisdictions?

Also, remind your kids that a lot of people have Ring doorbells so they are likely going to get caught.

Yes. Probably not in OP’s since the kids weren’t charged, but it is illegal in some areas.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The cops brought home a group of kids who were…..walking around? Does your area have a teen curfew? What law were they breaking?

This.

Is there anything actually illegal happening here?

I'm not going to argue that this was a "nice" or "neighborly" thing to do, but it seems pretty harmless.

They weren’t charged with doing anything illegal.

Emden of its not illegal its stupid. Like the police said people have guns and will use them. Right canderas are everywhere. It's not like the old days where you can set off cherry bombs at the park.

It’s not stupid. It’s nasty. They’re waking up kids, the elderly, people who are trying to get some decent sleep for an early morning at work. Where is the empathy?

Fine. It's nasty (in your mind, but we'll go with that). Still not illegal, and calling the police (or pulling a gun!!) is absurd.

It is illegal, which is the part that is absurd.

A ding dong ditch is illegal? OK. Can I get a cite for that, please?

We're gonna need a lockup around Halloween for all the elementary schoolers in my neighborhood.

Again, the cops never wrote up the kids for an illegal act. This is along the lines of a noise violation in terms of police involvement. It’s a disruption to the peace of the neighborhood and a nuisance to others.

Sounds like it's annoying . . . but not illegal. Just like I said.

Not illegal but also not harmless, which is also what was said in this thread.

The harm is what? Someone had to walk to the door????

At 10pm? To a group of teenaged young men? After having their baby woken up, or themselves woken up before starting an early shift? Or someone with a history of assault or DV who now is hearing her door get banged on in the middle of the night? This isn’t harmless. Your “children” are not harmless kindergartners. Wake up. They’re almost adults, and men, and they need to be careful with their behavior, and learn that with the power of being a wealthy white male comes some F-ing responsibility to not terrorize others in their community just because they can.

And before you tell me “how do you know they’re white?” I am pretty sure mothers of young Black men don’t need this lecture

Ringing a doorbell to see if someone answers or turns on a light is technique used by burglaries. I would hope my neighbors would call the cops if they saw a group of people running around houses day or night.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s crazy that the police brought them home. I don’t think this is nearly the big deal people are making it out to be, other than going to the park at 10 was a dumb idea.

This. It's overzealous policing. Police stopped and picked up kids for walking around? That's ridiculous. What law was broken? Even the ding dong ditch - someone called the cops? Because of . . . why exactly?

That said, even though it was an overreaction, because the police were involved you need to let the other parents know immediately.

And where do you live, OP, that people would open fire because of this?

As an aside, the kids obviously are white, because otherwise we'd be reading about this in the paper, and a few of them would be dead.

Totally agree with everything here. We did far worse things in middle and high school and we all turned out to be well functioning and law abiding adults.
Is ding, dong, ditch a crime in some jurisdictions?

Also, remind your kids that a lot of people have Ring doorbells so they are likely going to get caught.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The cops brought home a group of kids who were…..walking around? Does your area have a teen curfew? What law were they breaking?

This.

Is there anything actually illegal happening here?

I'm not going to argue that this was a "nice" or "neighborly" thing to do, but it seems pretty harmless.

They weren’t charged with doing anything illegal.

Emden of its not illegal its stupid. Like the police said people have guns and will use them. Right canderas are everywhere. It's not like the old days where you can set off cherry bombs at the park.

It’s not stupid. It’s nasty. They’re waking up kids, the elderly, people who are trying to get some decent sleep for an early morning at work. Where is the empathy?

I think this is the angle that you should take when talking with your kid about it. No, don't ground them for a month, but do give some sort of punishment. If they will tell you which houses, perhaps you should go over there with them to apologize and offer to do some yard work for the homeowner. If they can't (or don't want to) remember which houses, then take away phones and screens for a couple of days and have them do chores at your house. Remind them that they need to be very, very careful and think of scared people with guns in their homes. Tell them that you never ever again want the cops to come to your door to discuss your son.

With your lax discipline your kids will been doing it again next week and you’ll be planning a funeral for the one that got shot. Discipline them more harshly the first time especially when young so they think twice before they act next time. A few days without a phone might be worth it to try again, but grounded for a month I’d think twice if I were a kid. They’re not making prank calls they’re knocking on doors of people with guns, think about that next time before you assign 2 days discipline.

This how gun nuts have ruined our society. It's sad to tell kids that neighbors could shoot them.

They aren’t kids, they’re 13 year old teenagers that should know better. Where I’m from you never roll up on someone’s house you don’t know after dark or you might get shot. Been that way even before I was born, seems like common sense.

That’s not common sense. You’re so warped by gun culture that you think that’s normal?!

NP. I'm pretty liberal in a fairly liberal family which had a lot of guns, did a lot of hunting in a homogenous, conservative area where we were all pretty much free range kids. I don't have any guns in my home now but that's because I don't hunt anymore and don't feel the need for 'protection'. I'm appalled by the lack of research on gun safety and the rampant gun violence.

Having said all that, as a PP said, no good can come of a pack of teenaged boys roaming around after 10PM. Even if the boys aren't large, a homeowner has no idea why a pack of people would be running from their house after ringing the doorbell SO LATE AT NIGHT. If it were the day, it'd be annoying. After dark, it could be something completely different. It's out of bounds. While shooting those kids would be an overreaction, you never know what some people will do, especially when they feel threatened by a group of people resembling adults.

And, if I knew you were letting my kid roam around after 10PM, my kid wouldn't be spending the night at your house any more.

I assume you’re a troll but if not you’re just stupid for letting 13 year olds out at 10 pm to run amuck through the neighborhood.

OP, you are an irresponsible parent. I would NEVER let my child stay or go to your home after this incident.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was naïve for thinking six eighth graders would go innocently play at a park at 10pm, the kids were typical dumb teenagers, deciding that annoying neighbors would be fun (who does this in the era of doorbell cameras?), and police resources were used to break up mischief rather than go after actual criminals, but the biggest problem by far is that this is a country where there are enough people who would shoot a gun at someone fleeing their home after ringing the doorbell that the police predict you’ll get shot for doing that. That’s extremely disturbing.

The only thing disturbed is the OP and her teenage son she didn’t raise with any respect. Respect yourself, respect others, respect property, respect the elderly, respect authority, respect your position as the parent, the list goes on and on. This has nothing to do with gun’s and everything tO do with OPs poor parenting.

+1