Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have $20M and drive a 20 year old Toyota Corolla. It has a long dent down one side when I was victim of a hit and run many years ago.

I believe in hiding one's wealth, so that I can make friends who aren't social climbers. Some of my relatives are *extremely* attached to appearances and material signs of wealth. I spent my childhood feeling disgusted by them, so I certainly don't want to socialize with anyone like this now.

I don't think your "secret millionaire" status would be exposed by getting a huge dent on your 20 year old Toyota fixed, tbh. I don't personally care if you fix it, but if you did, no one in your social circle is going to run home to tell their spouse "hey did you see Bob finally got that giant dent fixed on old beater of his? he must secretly have a net worth of twenty million dollars, it's the only explanation."

Perhaps you can hoist your few neurons onto a more figurative, not literal, interpretation of what I wrote. I don't just drive an old beat-up car. I live an outwardly frugal lifestyle and live in a small house and don't judge others on externals. I do not care at all about how my car looks. The dent doesn't bother me at all. None of this is a sacrifice for me. I am independently wealthy and do not have any pressure to present a certain way for professional or social success. I live the life I want and teach my kids to do the same.

It sounds like you are experiencing wealth shame.

I like my clothes to look nice and I like my car to look nice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have $20M and drive a 20 year old Toyota Corolla. It has a long dent down one side when I was victim of a hit and run many years ago.

I believe in hiding one's wealth, so that I can make friends who aren't social climbers. Some of my relatives are *extremely* attached to appearances and material signs of wealth. I spent my childhood feeling disgusted by them, so I certainly don't want to socialize with anyone like this now.

I don't think your "secret millionaire" status would be exposed by getting a huge dent on your 20 year old Toyota fixed, tbh. I don't personally care if you fix it, but if you did, no one in your social circle is going to run home to tell their spouse "hey did you see Bob finally got that giant dent fixed on old beater of his? he must secretly have a net worth of twenty million dollars, it's the only explanation."

Perhaps you can hoist your few neurons onto a more figurative, not literal, interpretation of what I wrote. I don't just drive an old beat-up car. I live an outwardly frugal lifestyle and live in a small house and don't judge others on externals. I do not care at all about how my car looks. The dent doesn't bother me at all. None of this is a sacrifice for me. I am independently wealthy and do not have any pressure to present a certain way for professional or social success. I live the life I want and teach my kids to do the same.

Anonymous wrote:The way your car looks is a reflection of you life and we used to use it to determine whether to rent to someone

I don't drive a fancy car at all (used Subaru hatch back with a couple car seats in the back seat) but we put effort into making sure our car looks nice. I don't do it to impress other people, I do it for the same reason I put some effort into making sure my clothes are clean or that I brush and floss my teeth and get regular haircuts. Or why I vacuum and dust regularly and put a bit of effort into making my home look warm and aesthetically pleasing. It makes me feel good about myself and contributes to my sense of self worth to take care with my appearance and immediate surroundings.

I have dealt with bouts of depression and have chronically low self esteem, and found that incorporating this kind of care into my life is a way to ward off the lowest lows. I get my car detailed periodically and whenever I get it done, it feels so good to get inside it and drive it around -- I feel orderly and organized and like I have my sht together. It's a good feeling.

Anonymous wrote:I have $20M and drive a 20 year old Toyota Corolla. It has a long dent down one side when I was victim of a hit and run many years ago.

I believe in hiding one's wealth, so that I can make friends who aren't social climbers. Some of my relatives are *extremely* attached to appearances and material signs of wealth. I spent my childhood feeling disgusted by them, so I certainly don't want to socialize with anyone like this now.

I don't think your "secret millionaire" status would be exposed by getting a huge dent on your 20 year old Toyota fixed, tbh. I don't personally care if you fix it, but if you did, no one in your social circle is going to run home to tell their spouse "hey did you see Bob finally got that giant dent fixed on old beater of his? he must secretly have a net worth of twenty million dollars, it's the only explanation."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure she was raised affluent? IMO, the people who are the most concerned about things like this are the ones who weren't raised wealthy and have something to "prove."

The wealthiest people we know have mobile car washing crews come to their house to hand wash and detail their cars. Successful people care a lot about their image and perception.

I would need someone every 3 days to keep up with the messes my kids and their friends make.

The way your car looks is a reflection of you life and we used to use it to determine whether to rent to someone

I was raised working class and have driven dinged up cars my entire life (I've never owned a new car, not sure I've ever had a car that didn't have some damage to it somewhere). However I recently got a huge scratch in our (used, non-luxury) car and I got it fixed because (1) I am finally in a financial situation where I can do that, (2) it was a really bad scratch that pulled off paint and started to rust within a few days -- I was worried it would lead to worse damage as time went by, and (3) the way it got scratched was really frustrating and I decided I didn't want a daily reminder of the incident for the next decade that we have the car.

It only cost a few hundred dollars to fix, I don't see what the big deal is. Maybe if it was a fancy car and we took it to the dealer, it would have been more? I spent less to get the car fixed than most people spend on their phones, I can't imagine why this somehow makes me a snob.

I have $20M and drive a 20 year old Toyota Corolla. It has a long dent down one side when I was victim of a hit and run many years ago.

I believe in hiding one's wealth, so that I can make friends who aren't social climbers. Some of my relatives are *extremely* attached to appearances and material signs of wealth. I spent my childhood feeling disgusted by them, so I certainly don't want to socialize with anyone like this now.

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure she was raised affluent? IMO, the people who are the most concerned about things like this are the ones who weren't raised wealthy and have something to "prove."

The wealthiest people we know have mobile car washing crews come to their house to hand wash and detail their cars. Successful people care a lot about their image and perception.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you go to work in a shirt that had a rip in it?

A scratch on the car or a dent doesn't impact the safety or drive-ability of a car. Who are people concerned will "see" them in such a car and think less (?) of them? It's a very odd paranoia. Or at least one I don't fully understand. I assume it's some old-timey class stereotype.

No, it isn't some "old-timey class stereotype." If anything, the stereotype is that old money cares less about having a cosmetically perfect car than strivers.

I live in a place with plenty of old money. They almost all drive freshly detailed European luxury SUVs, sports cars, Teslas, 4-door Mini Coopers, and Suburbans.

You 100% live in the South then. New England old money (where I’m from - is the complete opposite). There is nothing they like better than an old Mercedes coughing out black diesel fumes as they slowly and loudly drive down the street. I grew up in CT and spend summers in Martha’s Vineyard. The people you describe would be considered guache.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WE have two soccer playing kids. my husband and I both have well paying jobs, own a DC home, beach house and investment property and we drive shitboxes. I just can not be bothered to worry about a pristine car when I know the world will ruin it. So what's the point?

Our kids play two different travel sports. All the parents are driving luxury 3-row SUVs.

Travel is for the rich players, not the best players.

Anonymous wrote:New money. I’m a rich soccer mom and my SUV is a mess. A few scratches, haven’t washed it in months and the inside looks like a war zone. I really don’t care.

Same. I care but can't keep up with my kids' messes. On the way to and from soccer, they eat meals and snacks, and it's unavoidable with our timeline. And there are multiple soccer players in my car.

Anonymous wrote:Hang out with some old money horse and hounds types. Their cars are filthy, filled with three muddy jack Russell terriers and at least one half-filled bottle of vodka rolling around in the back seat.

Corny wasp nobility trope beaten into the ground by message board dweebs.

New money. I’m a rich soccer mom and my SUV is a mess. A few scratches, haven’t washed it in months and the inside looks like a war zone. I really don’t care.