Anonymous wrote:i was chatting with a friend who mentioned that their high achieving rising junior was hoping to attend a service academy (West Point or USNA). They don't have a family military background and are certainly not hurting for money. My sense is that the kid could go to any school they wanted. It's not an understatement to say that choosing a service academy path totally floored me. What is the draw here or what am I missing? Is this considered a prestigious route in some circles?

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Anonymous wrote:I have a sibling who attended a service academy and did the exchange program to spend a semester at other academies. Overall, the academies are an intense experience that can mess up the most sane person. When I meet a ring knocker, I think two things: you're smart but odds are you have trauma that probably clouds your thinking.

Or at least makes you bad at relationships. Not all, of course.

Interesting you think that. I dated a cadet in college and they were way more respectful of "no" than civilian college boys. Way more focused and just really had that respect driven into them. Why do you feel they are bad at relationships?

Not in that way.

What makes them great at their jobs (compartmentalization, taking charge, looking for potential problems, making calculated, strictly rational decisions etc) often makes them hard to live with and less aware of other peoples needs, feelings, and emotions. Pilots in particular have an especially high divorce rate. Generally, they are really good, smart people who just kind of suck at relationships. That said, the military is widely diverse with thousands of different jobs so it’s not true of everyone.

I’ll buy that they can be emotionally detached. I think it’s harsh to say most suck at relationships. We are stationed at Walter Reed and know very few divorced couples and would say that overall they are happily married.

And half the couples I met during the young officer stage 25 years ago are divorced. I suppose it depends on their field, how old you are and how well you really know the deepest thoughts of your married friends. Several times DH has said “I can’t believe Larla and Leo split” and I was thinking “really???? Because it wasn’t a surprise to me. Moving every 3 years and doing most of the parenting alone play a big role too.

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Anonymous wrote:They provide and excellent education. It's that simple. Of course, that comes with significant strings attached, and you need to be aware of and okay with them.

It's not "strings attached." They want to sign up.

I mean, some do. Many want the free education and are willing to do 4 years afterwards to get it. Same with ROTC.

Anonymous wrote:All of the service academies offer at least 3 great things, in no particular order: (1) Excellent education at no cost (in general, I think students actually get paid), (2) a guaranteed job upon graduation , and (3) a chance to serve your country. Its an amazing opportunity for those who are interested and able to take advantage.

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Anonymous wrote:i was chatting with a friend who mentioned that their high achieving rising junior was hoping to attend a service academy (West Point or USNA). They don't have a family military background and are certainly not hurting for money. My sense is that the kid could go to any school they wanted. It's not an understatement to say that choosing a service academy path totally floored me. What is the draw here or what am I missing? Is this considered a prestigious route in some circles?

It's considered a "prestigious route" in ALL circles. Except, maybe, the ignorant ones.

OP here - I'm willing to claim ignorance. I guess I wouldn't be surprised if the family were conservative, but given that they are left-leaning it was surprising. It sounds like I'm the one who needs schooling in this though. My kids are much younger and I'm from the midwest if that serves as any sort of explanation.

There are liberals in the military, thank goodness. I spent time talking with many of them at a hospital and no one I talked to was conservative.

Please don’t feel bad, OP. The snoots here think everyone should know what they know. My own grandfather and dad attended service academies, and I had no idea they were considered prestigious until after my father died. My dad never bragged.

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Anonymous wrote:i was chatting with a friend who mentioned that their high achieving rising junior was hoping to attend a service academy (West Point or USNA). They don't have a family military background and are certainly not hurting for money. My sense is that the kid could go to any school they wanted. It's not an understatement to say that choosing a service academy path totally floored me. What is the draw here or what am I missing? Is this considered a prestigious route in some circles?

It is highly prestigious in all circles.

No they are not.

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Anonymous wrote:i was chatting with a friend who mentioned that their high achieving rising junior was hoping to attend a service academy (West Point or USNA). They don't have a family military background and are certainly not hurting for money. My sense is that the kid could go to any school they wanted. It's not an understatement to say that choosing a service academy path totally floored me. What is the draw here or what am I missing? Is this considered a prestigious route in some circles?

It's considered a "prestigious route" in ALL circles. Except, maybe, the ignorant ones.

OP here - I'm willing to claim ignorance. I guess I wouldn't be surprised if the family were conservative, but given that they are left-leaning it was surprising. It sounds like I'm the one who needs schooling in this though. My kids are much younger and I'm from the midwest if that serves as any sort of explanation.

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Anonymous wrote:i was chatting with a friend who mentioned that their high achieving rising junior was hoping to attend a service academy (West Point or USNA). They don't have a family military background and are certainly not hurting for money. My sense is that the kid could go to any school they wanted. It's not an understatement to say that choosing a service academy path totally floored me. What is the draw here or what am I missing? Is this considered a prestigious route in some circles?

It is highly prestigious in all circles.

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Anonymous wrote:I have a sibling who attended a service academy and did the exchange program to spend a semester at other academies. Overall, the academies are an intense experience that can mess up the most sane person. When I meet a ring knocker, I think two things: you're smart but odds are you have trauma that probably clouds your thinking.

Or at least makes you bad at relationships. Not all, of course.

Interesting you think that. I dated a cadet in college and they were way more respectful of "no" than civilian college boys. Way more focused and just really had that respect driven into them. Why do you feel they are bad at relationships?

Not in that way.

What makes them great at their jobs (compartmentalization, taking charge, looking for potential problems, making calculated, strictly rational decisions etc) often makes them hard to live with and less aware of other peoples needs, feelings, and emotions. Pilots in particular have an especially high divorce rate. Generally, they are really good, smart people who just kind of suck at relationships. That said, the military is widely diverse with thousands of different jobs so it’s not true of everyone.

I’ll buy that they can be emotionally detached. I think it’s harsh to say most suck at relationships. We are stationed at Walter Reed and know very few divorced couples and would say that overall they are happily married.

Anonymous wrote:As a professor at an R1 school, I have only vaguely heard of this. I thought it was like community college.

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Anonymous wrote:I have a sibling who attended a service academy and did the exchange program to spend a semester at other academies. Overall, the academies are an intense experience that can mess up the most sane person. When I meet a ring knocker, I think two things: you're smart but odds are you have trauma that probably clouds your thinking.

Or at least makes you bad at relationships. Not all, of course.

Interesting you think that. I dated a cadet in college and they were way more respectful of "no" than civilian college boys. Way more focused and just really had that respect driven into them. Why do you feel they are bad at relationships?

Not in that way.

What makes them great at their jobs (compartmentalization, taking charge, looking for potential problems, making calculated, strictly rational decisions etc) often makes them hard to live with and less aware of other peoples needs, feelings, and emotions. Pilots in particular have an especially high divorce rate. Generally, they are really good, smart people who just kind of suck at relationships. That said, the military is widely diverse with thousands of different jobs so it’s not true of everyone.

Anonymous wrote:i was chatting with a friend who mentioned that their high achieving rising junior was hoping to attend a service academy (West Point or USNA). They don't have a family military background and are certainly not hurting for money. My sense is that the kid could go to any school they wanted. It's not an understatement to say that choosing a service academy path totally floored me. What is the draw here or what am I missing? Is this considered a prestigious route in some circles?

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Anonymous wrote:I truly cannot believe how ignorant some people are. My parents were both high school drop outs and half of my siblings didn't go to college. But we obviously knew the service academies were prestigious. People on this thread should be embarrassed.

I don't understand the outrage about people who didn't know of service academies in high school. There are a lot of subjects people don't know about in high school/early college that they get educated about. I'm the poster who didn't know what it was when I met my husband. He will retire in two years after 20 years of military service, with me by his side. And you think i should be embarrassed? The people who should be embarrassed are the ones who trash the military, ie cult poster below, or the ones who don't bother to serve. Give me a break.

I think it’s as OP’s combination of “ I didn’t know” with the “thought that was for kids with no options”. It’s pretty cringe. Simultaneously ignorant and arrogant. But yes, it’s surprising for anyone who was college bound to be unaware of this.

Her/his response at 21:04 is far from arrogant. It fact I would say it's the opposite where he/she says "I guess I"m the one who needs schooling". They were quite open minded in listening to the responses unlike half the posters on this forum.
i think it just makes people feel superior to chime in yet again with "I can't believe you wouldn't know that".

It’s really common for people to read only the first post or page of a multi-page post. It’s never safe to assume everyone has read every post.