Anonymous wrote:Most damaging? After I told her about the sexual abuse that had been happening from my stepfather for years, she told me a story about a sibling of hers that had lied about being abused and told me how she was raped as a teenager so probably I was lying and if I wasn’t, it wasn’t as bad as what happened to her.

I am so sorry.

Hugs to each and everyone of you!

Anonymous wrote:Your father wanted to abort you.

When I attempted suicide by taking sleeping pills at age 15 while I was still in the hospital bed she said next time jump off a bridge and get the job done right.

I’m sorry, PP. That’s horrible. I hope you have been able to find the love you deserve in your adult life.

My mother had a fit when she found out that DH and I were planning to go away to get married on a beach in another country. So we rearranged the wedding for where she lived. After it was booked and we sent out 100 invitations she tried to get us to change the date to fit with a family member's medical appointment. On the day of the wedding, we had catered very carefully to suit her dietary needs but she left before dinner to visit the sick relative and missed 50% of the day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad said "If I were a young man and I saw you I'd definitely want to speak to you, but as soon as you said anything, I'd never want to speak to you again"

That's harsh for a dad to say to you. It might give you some comfort to know that quite a few guys said similar things to me. One guy said, "I thought you were pretty until I talked to you". I took it to mean that I don't suffer fools and I don't cater to guys. If I don't like you or if I disagree with you, you're going to hear about it. You are probably a strong confident person. Many men really don't like that, especially in young women.

Thank you.

You're almost as pretty as your sisters.

You are special because you are mentally retarded. (Keep in mind my IQ is in the 99% and am not delayed in any way)

I was 5 or 6 and my mom said, "You were such a homely child" ... she knew that I didn't know what the word meant and at the time I thought it meant cute. Once I learned how to use a dictionary, I looked it up and was very sad.

I wish you were never born. I was a kid.

Also (as an adult with many life threatening health issues like cancer) you must have bad karma. Meaning this life.

I have since cut her out of my life. I truly don't think she gives two sh!ts. As a parent, I can't imagine talking to my kids that way.

I feel bad saying this about a person, but the world will be better off without her.

Anonymous wrote:So the weird underwear thing - was your mom mad that it was a #2 stain or was it a discharge stain?

She was probably triggered to sexually shame you for vaginal discharge i.e. lubrication.

My mom used to shame me if I ever masturbated.

How would she know???

Anonymous wrote:Just one of the things that comes to mind: mom frequently said I never worked for things but I knew how to get what I wanted because I was manipulative.

The first time she said that (that I can remember) was when I was ten. I often wonder if she is right. I’ve been really lucky in a lot of ways and I feel like an impostor.

Sounds like you were smart and lucky. Frankly, she was probably envious of your success.

Just one of the things that comes to mind: mom frequently said I never worked for things but I knew how to get what I wanted because I was manipulative.


The first time she said that (that I can remember) was when I was ten. I often wonder if she is right. I’ve been really lucky in a lot of ways and I feel like an impostor.

So the weird underwear thing - was your mom mad that it was a #2 stain or was it a discharge stain?

She was probably triggered to sexually shame you for vaginal discharge i.e. lubrication.

My mom used to shame me if I ever masturbated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gave me a copy of “Sarah, Plain and Tall.”

My name is Sarah and I am very tall.

I dont think this is cruel

You’re dense.

PP isn’t dense, you’re just the kind of person who goes out of their way to take offense at everything.

Dp. The important thing to understand is that the original pp felt hurt when her mom gave her the book. We don't know how old she was or what her past treatment was, but she felt hurt. She remembers this as an adult. It is not going to hurt any less by you and others telling her she had no reason to be hurt. Feelings are weird that way.

Thanks, this PP and other PPs who defended my feelings. I haven't been back since I put my comment up until now. I was 8 but still old enough to know that "plain" was insulting, especially since my mom made constant disparaging comments about my appearance.

On the other hand, it's a bit funny, too. Like who can be THAT thoughtless?! The book itself is very nice but still. I didn't even read it until I was an adult because I couldn't bear to pick it up.

My mother and I have a great relationship now, but she is a narcissist and I have learned to compartmentalize her crazy and not be offended, but I was a very sensitive, shy child and it took me 40 years to grow a thick skin.

Some of these other posts are incredibly abusive and hurtful. I am so sorry you went through them, DCUM posters. Mine isn't anything like that scale, but more a Chinese water torture slow drip of awfulness. She's much better now I have leverage (access to grandkids) and absolutely use it if she says anything to them that is out of line.

My mom said she wished she never had me (because I sent her such a crappy Mother’s Day gift and card in 2021 when I was struggling)

Also, she moved out of a house we owned that we were renting to her at cost only giving two weeks notice and leaving a bunch of work for us to do- resident DH, myself with a 5 y/o, 2 y/o and 9 month old. And we were pretty broke so had to do it ourselves to get the house ready to sell.

Anonymous wrote:“Have a nice life.” said when she decided she was done with me because my mother in law saw the baby first. She refused to speak to me or visit for two months. I have not been able to open my heart to her since then. It’s been ten years. We have a relationship, but I have been very detached since then. She was always cruel. That comment broke me. My dad walked out when I was four. She knows she was all I had, and always held it over me.

This one brings tears to my eyes (I can relate). So sorry.