Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think the main thing you need to do is take a minute and imagine how these things are making her feel, putting the “all” statements out of your head, and offer her some real sympathy. Same as if her dog died or her boss yelled at her. Just feeling understood and validated by somebody you live and care about can make you so much happier.

Let her work her own shit out. I am pretty sure she won’t be feeling heightened emotions about this forever. I had a phase like this too when I learned just how awful many men are. Let her manage her own feelings.

And don’t feel bad saying that you need a break from talking about it. If she knows you are in the same page and she feels heard and validated, any anger she might feel about you not being able to be a constant validation machine is her problem.

I don't think my validation has done much, if anything, to make her feel better about the world. Given the scope of the problem, it's a little like spitting in the ocean. I'm sure if I invalidated her feelings, it would be terrible. So, it's one of those "I could hurt but I can't help much" situations. I'd say her antipathy toward "men" has been a pretty consistent topic of conversation for the last six or seven years. So, I don't think it's a phase.

She has been constantly complaining talking about how much men suck for six or seven years?

"Constantly" is an overstatement on my part. Something along those lines probably comes up at least two or three times a week and probably has been for something like six or seven years. It got much more frequent with the advent of #MeToo and during the Trump administration.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think the main thing you need to do is take a minute and imagine how these things are making her feel, putting the “all” statements out of your head, and offer her some real sympathy. Same as if her dog died or her boss yelled at her. Just feeling understood and validated by somebody you live and care about can make you so much happier.

Let her work her own shit out. I am pretty sure she won’t be feeling heightened emotions about this forever. I had a phase like this too when I learned just how awful many men are. Let her manage her own feelings.

And don’t feel bad saying that you need a break from talking about it. If she knows you are in the same page and she feels heard and validated, any anger she might feel about you not being able to be a constant validation machine is her problem.

I don't think my validation has done much, if anything, to make her feel better about the world. Given the scope of the problem, it's a little like spitting in the ocean. I'm sure if I invalidated her feelings, it would be terrible. So, it's one of those "I could hurt but I can't help much" situations. I'd say her antipathy toward "men" has been a pretty consistent topic of conversation for the last six or seven years. So, I don't think it's a phase.

You know she thinks the same of you. It’s not like there are “good” men. Read through the posts here. “Men” are all the same and when she talks about these other men she is talking about you. She hates you because you are a man. She hates the boy at the pool, the boys at school, the man driving Uber, etc just as mush as she hates you. You really need to wake up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, they do suck.

My male friends say that men suck all the time.

My male friends do too. They also say that women are crazy. There's a reason I mainly stick to talking sports with a lot of these guys.

PP. Mine don’t say women are crazy. We do talk about sports a lot though. Went to a ball game with my friend on the weekend. There were a bunch of drunk hecklers behind us, throwing food and spilling beer everywhere. He kept apologizing to me for men being “such gross monkeys”.
Lots of guys are over toxic male behavior.

That's good to hear. I think men and boys getting the message that they also suffer from toxic masculinity, the patriarchy, etc. helps with this. Under our current patriarchal structures, a relatively small segment of men benefit from these toxic, aggressive behaviors. Most men and almost all women lose.

That’s what I try to do! Like my son is short and gets teased for it. It’s awful. But I explain to him that this is one result of toxic masculinity. We have an idea about how the ideal man should be (tall, for instance) and men and boys who don’t conform to that are denied that little bit of male privilege. Plus being small is a trait associated with women, and we teach men that female traits are bad, so any trait in a man that gets close to something feminine is ridiculed.

Women are worse at teasing short men than other guys are. Ever try to be in the dating scene at a 5’7 guy? You’ll get all sorts of insults. I feel bad for my brother in law. I’m 6’3 but my wife’s brother is 5’7 tops. He works out to compensate but it doesn’t matter. If your height begins with a 5 and you’re a guy have fun trying to score a girlfriend.

Several years ago I went through a phase like this. My poor husband was so patient at the time. What was really going on was that after the birth of my sons, I was forced to confront childhood sexual assaults I had essentially compartmentalized before that time. But having my little boys be the same age I was when I was assaulted and realizing just how vulnerable I was made me enormously angry, not just at my assaulter but at the world that coddled and protected him while leaving me vulnerable.

There are so, so many women with sex abuse in their histories, and we are taught not to talk about it. I didn’t tell anyone for years, not even my husband. But it festers and harms. And we don’t always handle it well.

I had to get therapy. And honestly, some days it is still a fight within myself not to be angry at what happened to me. But I don’t lash out at all men and in fact I am very careful not to because I have sons who are good boys and men, and I am married to a good man.

So maybe ask her what is going on? There might be more than you know.

Anonymous wrote:All these comments are funny. Find common ground, here her out etc…

No one gives a crap about your opinion if you’re a guy, they don’t. Look at the comments here’. It’s borderline comedy.

She’s sounds like a miserable person. My wife is an amazing person and doesn’t think men suck, I keen she has sons and a husband. So she likes men.

But you’re not going to change her mind. If she thinks men suck then stop doing the man work around the house and let her do it. Give her a reason to complain

Give her a reason to complain? Sheesh. I don’t think all men suck but you sure do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think the main thing you need to do is take a minute and imagine how these things are making her feel, putting the “all” statements out of your head, and offer her some real sympathy. Same as if her dog died or her boss yelled at her. Just feeling understood and validated by somebody you live and care about can make you so much happier.

Let her work her own shit out. I am pretty sure she won’t be feeling heightened emotions about this forever. I had a phase like this too when I learned just how awful many men are. Let her manage her own feelings.

And don’t feel bad saying that you need a break from talking about it. If she knows you are in the same page and she feels heard and validated, any anger she might feel about you not being able to be a constant validation machine is her problem.

I don't think my validation has done much, if anything, to make her feel better about the world. Given the scope of the problem, it's a little like spitting in the ocean. I'm sure if I invalidated her feelings, it would be terrible. So, it's one of those "I could hurt but I can't help much" situations. I'd say her antipathy toward "men" has been a pretty consistent topic of conversation for the last six or seven years. So, I don't think it's a phase.

She has been constantly complaining talking about how much men suck for six or seven years?

All these comments are funny. Find common ground, here her out etc…

No one gives a crap about your opinion if you’re a guy, they don’t. Look at the comments here’. It’s borderline comedy.

She’s sounds like a miserable person. My wife is an amazing person and doesn’t think men suck, I keen she has sons and a husband. So she likes men.

But you’re not going to change her mind. If she thinks men suck then stop doing the man work around the house and let her do it. Give her a reason to complain

Anonymous wrote:OP I think the main thing you need to do is take a minute and imagine how these things are making her feel, putting the “all” statements out of your head, and offer her some real sympathy. Same as if her dog died or her boss yelled at her. Just feeling understood and validated by somebody you live and care about can make you so much happier.

Let her work her own shit out. I am pretty sure she won’t be feeling heightened emotions about this forever. I had a phase like this too when I learned just how awful many men are. Let her manage her own feelings.

And don’t feel bad saying that you need a break from talking about it. If she knows you are in the same page and she feels heard and validated, any anger she might feel about you not being able to be a constant validation machine is her problem.

I don't think my validation has done much, if anything, to make her feel better about the world. Given the scope of the problem, it's a little like spitting in the ocean. I'm sure if I invalidated her feelings, it would be terrible. So, it's one of those "I could hurt but I can't help much" situations. I'd say her antipathy toward "men" has been a pretty consistent topic of conversation for the last six or seven years. So, I don't think it's a phase.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, they do suck.

My male friends say that men suck all the time.

My male friends do too. They also say that women are crazy. There's a reason I mainly stick to talking sports with a lot of these guys.

PP. Mine don’t say women are crazy. We do talk about sports a lot though. Went to a ball game with my friend on the weekend. There were a bunch of drunk hecklers behind us, throwing food and spilling beer everywhere. He kept apologizing to me for men being “such gross monkeys”.
Lots of guys are over toxic male behavior.

That's good to hear. I think men and boys getting the message that they also suffer from toxic masculinity, the patriarchy, etc. helps with this. Under our current patriarchal structures, a relatively small segment of men benefit from these toxic, aggressive behaviors. Most men and almost all women lose.

That’s what I try to do! Like my son is short and gets teased for it. It’s awful. But I explain to him that this is one result of toxic masculinity. We have an idea about how the ideal man should be (tall, for instance) and men and boys who don’t conform to that are denied that little bit of male privilege. Plus being small is a trait associated with women, and we teach men that female traits are bad, so any trait in a man that gets close to something feminine is ridiculed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:she is a lesbian obviously

Do you think gay men are attracted to men because they hate women?

Didn’t think so.

Yes it is usually heterosexuals who have this hate of the opposite sex. It is much easier to blame “others” for your failures. I know a few women like this. One is a SAHM married to a rich guy. She is just very unhappy. Worked maybe a two years at the most and is a serial degree collector. Another is middle management about 45 year old but thinks she should be CEO. Even though we have a female CEO it’s the “men” who are keeping her down. The hate just consume them.

OP I think the main thing you need to do is take a minute and imagine how these things are making her feel, putting the “all” statements out of your head, and offer her some real sympathy. Same as if her dog died or her boss yelled at her. Just feeling understood and validated by somebody you live and care about can make you so much happier.

Let her work her own shit out. I am pretty sure she won’t be feeling heightened emotions about this forever. I had a phase like this too when I learned just how awful many men are. Let her manage her own feelings.

And don’t feel bad saying that you need a break from talking about it. If she knows you are in the same page and she feels heard and validated, any anger she might feel about you not being able to be a constant validation machine is her problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, they do suck.

My male friends say that men suck all the time.

My male friends do too. They also say that women are crazy. There's a reason I mainly stick to talking sports with a lot of these guys.

PP. Mine don’t say women are crazy. We do talk about sports a lot though. Went to a ball game with my friend on the weekend. There were a bunch of drunk hecklers behind us, throwing food and spilling beer everywhere. He kept apologizing to me for men being “such gross monkeys”.
Lots of guys are over toxic male behavior.

That's good to hear. I think men and boys getting the message that they also suffer from toxic masculinity, the patriarchy, etc. helps with this. Under our current patriarchal structures, a relatively small segment of men benefit from these toxic, aggressive behaviors. Most men and almost all women lose.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, they do suck.

My male friends say that men suck all the time.

My male friends do too. They also say that women are crazy. There's a reason I mainly stick to talking sports with a lot of these guys.

PP. Mine don’t say women are crazy. We do talk about sports a lot though. Went to a ball game with my friend on the weekend. There were a bunch of drunk hecklers behind us, throwing food and spilling beer everywhere. He kept apologizing to me for men being “such gross monkeys”.
Lots of guys are over toxic male behavior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, they do suck.

My male friends say that men suck all the time.

My male friends do too. They also say that women are crazy. There's a reason I mainly stick to talking sports with a lot of these guys.

Anonymous wrote:Well, they do suck.

My male friends say that men suck all the time.