Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend was on a several day road trip and traveled w/charcuterie board items in a cooler and bottles of wine. I thought it was unusual and I wondered if, about the wine, I should be concerned. I think the Op's quesiton is reasonable.

Does your friend need a travel companion? She/he sounds like she knows how to make a road trip fun.

+1
I mean, no kidding.

+1

Now I’m going to plan a road trip around wine & a charcuterie board.

Wine, charcuterie, road trip, company of a good friend-- Honestly, that sounds like heaven.

Anonymous wrote:My SIL also brings her own cocktails. I thought this was a millennial thing.

It's a host not having the correct drink(s) for their guest thing. The first time is forgivable, though if our guests are staying for multiple days we would make a run to the store to get their preferred drink. My SIL likes sweet wines. We do not, but we always pick a few things up for her. No alcohol issues, but when she uses her vacation days to visit us, we like to make it as comfortable and relaxing as possible. When we visit them they similarly buy drier wines for us.

High maintenance? For taking care of her own wishes without bothering anybody or making a big deal out of it?

That's a bold strategy, Cotton.

She is high maintenance. I feel a little sorry for your brother

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I guess I find the optics of a thermos a little tacky, a little desperate housewife soccer mom on the bleachers. Why not just purchase cocktail ingredients and bring them? Someone else might enjoy a different drink and it doesn’t look quite so clandestine. If you have special dietary needs, bring a dish to share. No one likes the keto weirdo guest who starts unpacking their own personal Tupperware at a dinner party.

Maybe because she’s just bringing two or three drinks worth? Coming armed with a bottle of gin every time would seem kind of silly. I think this is on the host, especially at this stage when you know your guests preferred choice.

+1. And since she knows, at this point, that this is a ~wine family~ and no one wants to share she probably hopes this is less conspicuous and that she can enjoy her drink of choice without people being being weird about bringing gin. Guess not!

I can just imagine the posts about that one.

"And she always brings an entire bottle of gin! Which nobody else drinks, because we all drink wine! That's a red flag, right? She's totally tacky and a lush?"

Anonymous wrote:

I guess I find the optics of a thermos a little tacky, a little desperate housewife soccer mom on the bleachers. Why not just purchase cocktail ingredients and bring them? Someone else might enjoy a different drink and it doesn’t look quite so clandestine. If you have special dietary needs, bring a dish to share. No one likes the keto weirdo guest who starts unpacking their own personal Tupperware at a dinner party.

Maybe because she’s just bringing two or three drinks worth? Coming armed with a bottle of gin every time would seem kind of silly. I think this is on the host, especially at this stage when you know your guests preferred choice.

It’s a miracle she comes to your events at all.

Not weird. BYOB is the norm.

I would probably bring a bottle of gin and a bottle of tonic for the party, make my drinks there, offering to share. But maybe she got the feeling you don't like that.

I would have thought this was weird until a few months ago when all of a sudden I can longer drink wine. The headaches after even one glass last for days. It’s brutal so I gave it up. Like OPs family, we enjoy a drink together. I have a liquor drink of choice now, so on occasions where they will be drinking wine or beer, i bring what I want. so I wouldn’t think of anything other than trying to make things easy for the host.

Anonymous wrote:

I guess I find the optics of a thermos a little tacky, a little desperate housewife soccer mom on the bleachers. Why not just purchase cocktail ingredients and bring them? Someone else might enjoy a different drink and it doesn’t look quite so clandestine. If you have special dietary needs, bring a dish to share. No one likes the keto weirdo guest who starts unpacking their own personal Tupperware at a dinner party.

I find the optics of not providing a SIL with the drink they prefer super tacky. I suspect the SIL is just trying to be low key and not call attention to the OP’s lack of hosting skills.

Anonymous wrote:

I guess I find the optics of a thermos a little tacky, a little desperate housewife soccer mom on the bleachers. Why not just purchase cocktail ingredients and bring them? Someone else might enjoy a different drink and it doesn’t look quite so clandestine. If you have special dietary needs, bring a dish to share. No one likes the keto weirdo guest who starts unpacking their own personal Tupperware at a dinner party.

One of her ILs is literally accusing her of being an alcoholic because of the *one drink* she is bringing for herself, never mind that all the other adults are drinking, too. I think if she brought a bottle of Bombay Sapphire, some Canada Dry and a few limes, OP would go into robotic spasms from being unable to decide to clutch her pearls or find her smelling salts first.

My SIL also brings her own cocktails. I thought this was a millennial thing.

Anonymous wrote:

I guess I find the optics of a thermos a little tacky, a little desperate housewife soccer mom on the bleachers. Why not just purchase cocktail ingredients and bring them? Someone else might enjoy a different drink and it doesn’t look quite so clandestine. If you have special dietary needs, bring a dish to share. No one likes the keto weirdo guest who starts unpacking their own personal Tupperware at a dinner party.

But they looooove the excluded family member who brings out the folding drinks cart, the gin, the tonic, the shaker, and 4 glasses? Maybe a long metal stirring spoon, just to keep up appearances?

Nah. SIL is just being low-key because this whole situation is embarrassing enough to the family in question without shining a big metallic spotlight on it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone who does this has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and needs to drink and/or get drunk to have a good time.

And the hosting family stocks up on wine because ... why, again?

Because the FAMILY is big wine drinkers, except the SIL she doesn’t like wine but they don’t consider her family so it’s ok