Anonymous
05/11/2022 11:55
Subject: How irritated would you be?
Military community usually steps up and helps with kid stuff. Look into it.
Anonymous
05/11/2022 11:55
Subject: How irritated would you be?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. No, I'm not allowed to work in public (information security policy).
Taking vacation. I'll find something to do to entertain myself, I guess.
OP, honestly…WTH?! You are going to give up a week’s vacation to be an Uber Driver for your inconsiderate, disrespectful husband?
If you were going to take a week’s vacation with your kids, wouldn’t you rather do something engaging and awesome WITH them rather than just schlep them to some mediocre day camp?
Unless you have unlimited vacation time, this is NUTS. Why are you giving in so easily yo something that is not your problem to solve?
Np. Not only the above - ie do not take vacation, your spouse have better be making bank of he can’t hire a summer nanny when booking half day camps for the kids when you both work fulltime.
Is he this stupid at work too?
We're not wealthy enough for a nanny. Military jobs don't always have the flexibility DCUM seems to expect.
Well for summer until your spouse fixes the camp thing, get one. Stop eating out, have HIM work from home more. EtcZ
I have military family with 4 kids, they manage their time very efficiently and week days off. And this is my brother who leads 1000 people.
Anonymous
05/11/2022 11:22
Subject: How irritated would you be?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would be livid. Does he have any consciousness of having dumped a burden on you without asking you first?
Not really.
I saw that you are also a trailing spouse. What a hugely crappy spot to be in. I did that for years and it's tough. Even tougher if your spouse isn't on your side.
Is he trying to sabotage the fact that you work?
Anonymous
05/11/2022 11:17
Subject: How irritated would you be?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Without running it by me, DH signed up our two DC's for a STEM day camp this summer. It runs 9-2, which conflicts with my work hours of 8-5. He is unable to drop off or pick up and doesn't see it as an issue since I work from home. Here's the problem, though: it's a 45 minute round trip each way, and yes, while there's only a 60-70% chance someone will notice I'm missing, I'm not sure how much grief I'll get if someone (read: manager) notices. I'm pretty irritated. Am I overreacting?
"Sounds like a great idea, hon. It doesn't work for me as far as work hours so I hope you can manage the pick up and drop off."
And then I would not say another word and make zero effort to figure this out.
Please please please do this OP! It might be hard if you’re not used to sticking up for yourself so if you want moral support ask here and we will cheer you on.
Anonymous
05/11/2022 11:16
Subject: How irritated would you be?
Anonymous wrote:Without running it by me, DH signed up our two DC's for a STEM day camp this summer. It runs 9-2, which conflicts with my work hours of 8-5. He is unable to drop off or pick up and doesn't see it as an issue since I work from home. Here's the problem, though: it's a 45 minute round trip each way, and yes, while there's only a 60-70% chance someone will notice I'm missing, I'm not sure how much grief I'll get if someone (read: manager) notices. I'm pretty irritated. Am I overreacting?
"Sounds like a great idea, hon. It doesn't work for me as far as work hours so I hope you can manage the pick up and drop off."
And then I would not say another word and make zero effort to figure this out.
Anonymous
05/11/2022 11:09
Subject: Re:How irritated would you be?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would tell him it won’t work and unenroll them — even if I lost my money on it.
They're too excited for that.
So?
Not op. But talk me through how it's okay to take your anger at your husband out in your kids and how you doing so will kit have any long-term repercussions for your relationship with them
You are not “taking something out on your kid” when you tell them that, unfortunately the camp just won’t work out this year. Good grief.
Good grief yourself! You're punishing the kids because you and souse can't behave as adults that you think it's just " oh camp won't work out" let's me know all I need to about your " parenting" none of it good.
It IS good to show kids that you are not a doormat when their father disrespects you, your time, and your career. It IS good to
Show children that life doesn’t revolve around them and that adults work together rather than now all leach other.
That is GOOD parenting.
+1
And if anybody is punishing the kids, it’s their dad. He was the one who carelessly got them into this situation.
And seriously this is just STEM camp. Yeah they will be let down but in the grand scheme of things this is so not a big deal. It’s not like they are missing out on a dance solo or something.
Anonymous
05/11/2022 08:30
Subject: Re:How irritated would you be?
This does sound tough.
Anonymous
05/11/2022 08:18
Subject: How irritated would you be?
Anonymous wrote:This is why I didn't mind RTO -- even with considerate spouses, the WFH spouse gets treated like a default house spouse if the other one works in the office.
OP here. I have fought this with my employer since August 2020 when my spouse went back to the office.
Anonymous
05/11/2022 08:06
Subject: How irritated would you be?
This is why I didn't mind RTO -- even with considerate spouses, the WFH spouse gets treated like a default house spouse if the other one works in the office.
Anonymous
05/11/2022 07:57
Subject: Re:How irritated would you be?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would tell him it won’t work and unenroll them — even if I lost my money on it.
They're too excited for that.
So?
Not op. But talk me through how it's okay to take your anger at your husband out in your kids and how you doing so will kit have any long-term repercussions for your relationship with them
You are not “taking something out on your kid” when you tell them that, unfortunately the camp just won’t work out this year. Good grief.
Good grief yourself! You're punishing the kids because you and souse can't behave as adults that you think it's just " oh camp won't work out" let's me know all I need to about your " parenting" none of it good.
I think the opposite. Doing something extreme like using a whole week of vacation to solve a transportation issue might give children the impression that no length is too far for their mom to go to save them from disappointment. Children will be as entitled or easy going & resilient as we set them up to be.
Anonymous
05/10/2022 22:38
Subject: How irritated would you be?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. No, I'm not allowed to work in public (information security policy).
Taking vacation. I'll find something to do to entertain myself, I guess.
OP, honestly…WTH?! You are going to give up a week’s vacation to be an Uber Driver for your inconsiderate, disrespectful husband?
If you were going to take a week’s vacation with your kids, wouldn’t you rather do something engaging and awesome WITH them rather than just schlep them to some mediocre day camp?
Unless you have unlimited vacation time, this is NUTS. Why are you giving in so easily yo something that is not your problem to solve?
Np. Not only the above - ie do not take vacation, your spouse have better be making bank of he can’t hire a summer nanny when booking half day camps for the kids when you both work fulltime.
Is he this stupid at work too?
We're not wealthy enough for a nanny. Military jobs don't always have the flexibility DCUM seems to expect.
Anonymous
05/10/2022 22:27
Subject: Re:How irritated would you be?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would tell him it won’t work and unenroll them — even if I lost my money on it.
They're too excited for that.
Too bad. Tell them sometimes things don’t work out. It will be good roll modeling whether you have sons or daughters to explain that you cannot just take off in the middle of work and logistics need to be determined before anyone signs up for anything.
Role modeling
That's not what the kids would take away from this
Who cares? It sucks, yes, but taking that amount of time from work every day and being stressed if her manager notices is much worse. Guess what? It's okay if kids experience disappointment. It's life. It happens.
Anonymous
05/10/2022 21:26
Subject: How irritated would you be?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. No, I'm not allowed to work in public (information security policy).
Taking vacation. I'll find something to do to entertain myself, I guess.
OP, honestly…WTH?! You are going to give up a week’s vacation to be an Uber Driver for your inconsiderate, disrespectful husband?
If you were going to take a week’s vacation with your kids, wouldn’t you rather do something engaging and awesome WITH them rather than just schlep them to some mediocre day camp?
Unless you have unlimited vacation time, this is NUTS. Why are you giving in so easily yo something that is not your problem to solve?
Np. Not only the above - ie do not take vacation, your spouse have better be making bank of he can’t hire a summer nanny when booking half day camps for the kids when you both work fulltime.
Is he this stupid at work too?
Anonymous
05/10/2022 20:16
Subject: How irritated would you be?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. No, I'm not allowed to work in public (information security policy).
Taking vacation. I'll find something to do to entertain myself, I guess.
Stop being a martyr and adult. Cancel the camp and find something else that works with your schedule. Kids have a short memory. Just tell them it didn’t work out.
Anonymous
05/10/2022 20:14
Subject: How irritated would you be?
Does the camp not offer before care or aftercare?