I didn't entertain future low earners as a life partner because I knew that a high-earning partner would be able to provide more food/housing/opportunities/security for my future children.

Think of the children, right.

Does this median income exclude zeros? There are a lot of people who don't make any money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having grown up in poverty it’s really hard for me to understand women complaining about their husbands making less than six figures. To me marriage was always about love, partnership, and parenting than a guarantee of a certain standard of living.

Now women who complain about their partners not participating in parenting or their share of household chores…that I get and it would infuriate me.

They didn't grow up in poverty though, so why would they want to lower their standards? Do you want to lower your standards from the wealth you grew up in?

Ordinarily I don’t care about people having different desires in life. And I don’t really judge Someone for wanting a high/earning spouse. But the living standards that these women have are superficial and are just making them bitter and unable to see what life is offering them. I’m not talking about having health insurance-type standards, I’m taking about kids being able to do sleep away camp type standards. So when somebody passes over potentially really strong life partners because they want extra bonuses in life that won’t actually make them happy, I don’t get it.

It's not about my happiness at all. I didn't entertain future low earners as a life partner because I knew that a high-earning partner would be able to provide more food/housing/opportunities/security for my future children. I married my husband when he was dirt poor, but he cared about financial security and had a high-earning career trajectory.

LOL! My husband is a teacher, as am I. He was definitely making 5 figures when we met/married.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having grown up in poverty it’s really hard for me to understand women complaining about their husbands making less than six figures. To me marriage was always about love, partnership, and parenting than a guarantee of a certain standard of living.

Now women who complain about their partners not participating in parenting or their share of household chores…that I get and it would infuriate me.

They didn't grow up in poverty though, so why would they want to lower their standards? Do you want to lower your standards from the wealth you grew up in?

Ordinarily I don’t care about people having different desires in life. And I don’t really judge Someone for wanting a high/earning spouse. But the living standards that these women have are superficial and are just making them bitter and unable to see what life is offering them. I’m not talking about having health insurance-type standards, I’m taking about kids being able to do sleep away camp type standards. So when somebody passes over potentially really strong life partners because they want extra bonuses in life that won’t actually make them happy, I don’t get it.

I married a nice poor guy thinking I didn't care about sleep away camp. Thought he understood that I was willing to compromise on some things but not on others like going to college for the kids. Turns out he expected me to work throughout the marriage even 3 months after having a baby while he never got a promotion, fought anything like sleep away camp when we had the money, and then left me to have multiple affairs and developed a sex addiction. His family also thought we could support his family with trips back to the homeland. So no sleep away camp for my kids but please contribute to grandma's house maintenance and her trips overseas. They were awful people who had no respect for other's money. Now he's not paying for college or anything for the kids beyond age 18. Do not marry too far away from your station is what I learned. There is no guarantee that these "nice guys" will stay nice when they get more money to play with.

This is ridiculous. When I met DH, he made $65K. We married happily. 10+ years later, we are still happily married and will likely have a HHI of roughly 700 this year.

Income, like love, can grow stronger with time.

Anonymous wrote:I guess it depends, you may prefer an intelligent, kind and interesting person more than a high earning dud.

They are not mutually exclusive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having grown up in poverty it’s really hard for me to understand women complaining about their husbands making less than six figures. To me marriage was always about love, partnership, and parenting than a guarantee of a certain standard of living.

Now women who complain about their partners not participating in parenting or their share of household chores…that I get and it would infuriate me.

They didn't grow up in poverty though, so why would they want to lower their standards? Do you want to lower your standards from the wealth you grew up in?

Ordinarily I don’t care about people having different desires in life. And I don’t really judge Someone for wanting a high/earning spouse. But the living standards that these women have are superficial and are just making them bitter and unable to see what life is offering them. I’m not talking about having health insurance-type standards, I’m taking about kids being able to do sleep away camp type standards. So when somebody passes over potentially really strong life partners because they want extra bonuses in life that won’t actually make them happy, I don’t get it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was laid off and making $0 when I met my wife. She was making about $400k per year at that time. I was 29 and she was 28. I was starting grad school. She was crazy hot - like super athletic and tan. This last week was our 19th anniversary and we’ve accomplished a lot together. We’re both from modest backgrounds and put ourselves through school. We have a wonderful kid, own 8 homes and have built a solid financial base.

Sometimes marrying the guy you love who doesn’t make a lot works out.

Starting grad school is rarely the sign of someone who can't make money. I feel like a lot is missing from this post. What did you make after grad school?

Well, I was going to grad school at a 2nd tier state school. I made 90ish right after but then started working my way up. About 300k + equity, now. She’s always out earned me (even now) by 2-3x.

So stop making it out to be that your wife didn't care about your money or your ability to make money. I assume this person is talking about someone who makes five figures their entire life. Your comment is somewhat pointless. It's not the same scenario.

Anonymous wrote:Having grown up in poverty it’s really hard for me to understand women complaining about their husbands making less than six figures. To me marriage was always about love, partnership, and parenting than a guarantee of a certain standard of living.

Now women who complain about their partners not participating in parenting or their share of household chores…that I get and it would infuriate me.

They didn't grow up in poverty though, so why would they want to lower their standards? Do you want to lower your standards from the wealth you grew up in?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All women want to marry a man making at least 6 figures but ideally 7+. Problem is that isn’t most men. But most women in their 20s will at least try- until reality sets in

This doesn’t describe “all” women. I’ve never even fantasized about a man who makes $$$. I want a man who is kind, honest, respectful, and an equal partner. I found that in a man who makes less than 6 figures. Money wouldn’t bring us any more happiness than we already have.

Yeah, how many women do you know, PP? Five?

DP and I never cared about this, either. If anything, I’d avoid many high earners, assuming they’d work too much, consume too conspicuously, or just generally be career-obsessed bores. Just not my type.

Anonymous wrote:All women want to marry a man making at least 6 figures but ideally 7+. Problem is that isn’t most men. But most women in their 20s will at least try- until reality sets in

I don't know a single woman who searched for a man making 7 figures. The ones who ended up with these men married them long before they were even close to that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All women want to marry a man making at least 6 figures but ideally 7+. Problem is that isn’t most men. But most women in their 20s will at least try- until reality sets in

This doesn’t describe “all” women. I’ve never even fantasized about a man who makes $$$. I want a man who is kind, honest, respectful, and an equal partner. I found that in a man who makes less than 6 figures. Money wouldn’t bring us any more happiness than we already have.

Yeah, how many women do you know, PP? Five?

Anonymous wrote:All women want to marry a man making at least 6 figures but ideally 7+. Problem is that isn’t most men. But most women in their 20s will at least try- until reality sets in

This doesn’t describe “all” women. I’ve never even fantasized about a man who makes $$$. I want a man who is kind, honest, respectful, and an equal partner. I found that in a man who makes less than 6 figures. Money wouldn’t bring us any more happiness than we already have.

Having grown up in poverty it’s really hard for me to understand women complaining about their husbands making less than six figures. To me marriage was always about love, partnership, and parenting than a guarantee of a certain standard of living.

Now women who complain about their partners not participating in parenting or their share of household chores…that I get and it would infuriate me.