Anonymous
05/22/2022 08:24
Subject: Help! Song choice for first dance…dying man
OP back with one more update. My stepdad died on May 14th, less than a month after this event. We are heartbroken, but will be forever grateful for his presence in our life.
It’s been said a million times before, but don’t wait until it’s too late to tell the people in your life how much they mean to you! He was so touched, so incredibly happy, to see all the people who showed up for him and cared for him.
It’s been said a million times before, but don’t wait until it’s too late to tell the people in your life how much they mean to you! He was so touched, so incredibly happy, to see all the people who showed up for him and cared for him.
Anonymous
04/19/2022 13:39
Subject: Help! Song choice for first dance…dying man
Op, thank you for sharing your update and including such gracious comments about those who helped make this special day possible. You and your family are in my thoughts. I know that this event will be remembered by all involved and hopefully will make the challenging times to come a little easier to have such a wonderful moment to savor.
Anonymous
04/19/2022 12:21
Subject: Help! Song choice for first dance…dying man
I'm crying. That's lovely OP. Holding you all in my heart.
Anonymous
04/18/2022 23:07
Subject: Help! Song choice for first dance…dying man
I was thinking of you and your family today! Thanks for the update and so glad it was a wonderful day.
Anonymous
04/18/2022 23:02
Subject: Help! Song choice for first dance…dying man
Anonymous wrote:OP here, returning to say THANK YOU and to provide an update. The “ball” was today at noon, and it was absolutely amazing. Somehow in the space of one week we pulled together an event for about 50 friends & family that included a saber team (thank you Junior ROTC!) and a color guard (thank you American Legion volunteers) and despite it being a random Monday at a not-so-fancy spot, it felt to my stepdad like a Very Big Deal. The JOY on his face was just incredible.
First dance ended up being “You Send Me” by Sam Cooke, both because it’s a lovely upbeat song and because it’s pretty short. A friend of my stepdad made a big deal of announcing my stepdad escorting my mom to the dance floor, we played whatever music it is that’s supposed to accompany his rank, and the awesome JROTC saber team held up a saber arch for them. Just about every song mentioned here made the playlist, though it ended up being mostly background music for conversation as the dancing went on only for about 1.5 songs. My stepdad was a fantastic dancer, first on the dance floor and last to leave, but today it was just the one song (and was likely his last). He was surrounded by his children, there & ready to support him (physically as well as emotionally), but he made it through the whole song. It was beautiful and amazing and better than I could have hoped for.
To each of you who offered a song suggestion: THANK YOU. The experience with his diagnosis and rapid disease progression had been incredibly overwhelming. Trying to think of a song was just exhausting, but you all offered up so many wonderful suggestions. You helped make this event happen. THANK YOU.
And in a world where we sometimes see the worst of people, here are some examples of the best of people as seen over the last week:
- “K” at the Legion who drove in on his day off just to see what dates he had open in the next week
- “B” the bartender who tracked him down on his cell phone when she heard what we were trying to plan
- the awesome staff at the department store that offered to have my mom come in before the store opened so they could help her find a dress, and the department store tailor who dropped everything to make alterations the same day so my mom could have her dress in hand and not worry if it would be ready
- the AMAZING local tailor who took a size “fit young man” dress uniform and tailored it so it could fit a size “twenty five years since retirement” older man (minor miracle - no idea how they did it) - on an impossibly short turnaround time, opening early for pickup, and not even charging us for the extensive alterations
- the JROTC coordinator and parents of the kids who did all sorts of backbends to get the saber team kids there today
- and just every person who went out of their way or took time to ask how they could help
Today was an AMAZING and beautiful day that brought so much joy. Truly, each of you helped make that happen!
OP, thank you so much for coming back and updating us. Been thinking about your family all day and was hoping for this great outcome for your stepdad. I’m the PP who suggested Beyond the Sea and You Send Me was our wedding song. It’s a wonderful choice and I hope you’ll hear it and remember the beautiful gift you all gave your stepdad. Hugs.
Anonymous
04/18/2022 23:01
Subject: Re:Help! Song choice for first dance…dying man
Your update made me cry, OP. Your family sounds amazing and your stepdad is lucky to have you.
Anonymous
04/18/2022 22:53
Subject: Help! Song choice for first dance…dying man
Wow, OP, so happy to read your update! How wonderful to read the best of humanity on display.
Anonymous
04/18/2022 22:39
Subject: Help! Song choice for first dance…dying man
OP here, returning to say THANK YOU and to provide an update. The “ball” was today at noon, and it was absolutely amazing. Somehow in the space of one week we pulled together an event for about 50 friends & family that included a saber team (thank you Junior ROTC!) and a color guard (thank you American Legion volunteers) and despite it being a random Monday at a not-so-fancy spot, it felt to my stepdad like a Very Big Deal. The JOY on his face was just incredible.
First dance ended up being “You Send Me” by Sam Cooke, both because it’s a lovely upbeat song and because it’s pretty short. A friend of my stepdad made a big deal of announcing my stepdad escorting my mom to the dance floor, we played whatever music it is that’s supposed to accompany his rank, and the awesome JROTC saber team held up a saber arch for them. Just about every song mentioned here made the playlist, though it ended up being mostly background music for conversation as the dancing went on only for about 1.5 songs. My stepdad was a fantastic dancer, first on the dance floor and last to leave, but today it was just the one song (and was likely his last). He was surrounded by his children, there & ready to support him (physically as well as emotionally), but he made it through the whole song. It was beautiful and amazing and better than I could have hoped for.
To each of you who offered a song suggestion: THANK YOU. The experience with his diagnosis and rapid disease progression had been incredibly overwhelming. Trying to think of a song was just exhausting, but you all offered up so many wonderful suggestions. You helped make this event happen. THANK YOU.
And in a world where we sometimes see the worst of people, here are some examples of the best of people as seen over the last week:
- “K” at the Legion who drove in on his day off just to see what dates he had open in the next week
- “B” the bartender who tracked him down on his cell phone when she heard what we were trying to plan
- the awesome staff at the department store that offered to have my mom come in before the store opened so they could help her find a dress, and the department store tailor who dropped everything to make alterations the same day so my mom could have her dress in hand and not worry if it would be ready
- the AMAZING local tailor who took a size “fit young man” dress uniform and tailored it so it could fit a size “twenty five years since retirement” older man (minor miracle - no idea how they did it) - on an impossibly short turnaround time, opening early for pickup, and not even charging us for the extensive alterations
- the JROTC coordinator and parents of the kids who did all sorts of backbends to get the saber team kids there today
- and just every person who went out of their way or took time to ask how they could help
Today was an AMAZING and beautiful day that brought so much joy. Truly, each of you helped make that happen!
First dance ended up being “You Send Me” by Sam Cooke, both because it’s a lovely upbeat song and because it’s pretty short. A friend of my stepdad made a big deal of announcing my stepdad escorting my mom to the dance floor, we played whatever music it is that’s supposed to accompany his rank, and the awesome JROTC saber team held up a saber arch for them. Just about every song mentioned here made the playlist, though it ended up being mostly background music for conversation as the dancing went on only for about 1.5 songs. My stepdad was a fantastic dancer, first on the dance floor and last to leave, but today it was just the one song (and was likely his last). He was surrounded by his children, there & ready to support him (physically as well as emotionally), but he made it through the whole song. It was beautiful and amazing and better than I could have hoped for.
To each of you who offered a song suggestion: THANK YOU. The experience with his diagnosis and rapid disease progression had been incredibly overwhelming. Trying to think of a song was just exhausting, but you all offered up so many wonderful suggestions. You helped make this event happen. THANK YOU.
And in a world where we sometimes see the worst of people, here are some examples of the best of people as seen over the last week:
- “K” at the Legion who drove in on his day off just to see what dates he had open in the next week
- “B” the bartender who tracked him down on his cell phone when she heard what we were trying to plan
- the awesome staff at the department store that offered to have my mom come in before the store opened so they could help her find a dress, and the department store tailor who dropped everything to make alterations the same day so my mom could have her dress in hand and not worry if it would be ready
- the AMAZING local tailor who took a size “fit young man” dress uniform and tailored it so it could fit a size “twenty five years since retirement” older man (minor miracle - no idea how they did it) - on an impossibly short turnaround time, opening early for pickup, and not even charging us for the extensive alterations
- the JROTC coordinator and parents of the kids who did all sorts of backbends to get the saber team kids there today
- and just every person who went out of their way or took time to ask how they could help
Today was an AMAZING and beautiful day that brought so much joy. Truly, each of you helped make that happen!
Anonymous
04/17/2022 20:48
Subject: Help! Song choice for first dance…dying man
Bee Gees: How Deep is your Love
Anonymous
04/17/2022 20:24
Subject: Re:Help! Song choice for first dance…dying man
Anonymous wrote:OP, coming in very late to this so not a lot to offer on songs (though "Beyond the Sea" is a great choice). Just sending my hopes for a wonderful "ball" that gives everyone a positive memory to hold onto and gives the guest of honor some hours when he can feel the enjoyment. It's a lovely, loving gesture to do on his behalf. A very dear friend died from CJD when he was only 52, and it can be an extremely difficult period for the family as well as the patient, we know from his and his family's experience. You'll all be in this stranger's thoughts.
+1
Anonymous
04/17/2022 20:12
Subject: Re:Help! Song choice for first dance…dying man
OP, coming in very late to this so not a lot to offer on songs (though "Beyond the Sea" is a great choice). Just sending my hopes for a wonderful "ball" that gives everyone a positive memory to hold onto and gives the guest of honor some hours when he can feel the enjoyment. It's a lovely, loving gesture to do on his behalf. A very dear friend died from CJD when he was only 52, and it can be an extremely difficult period for the family as well as the patient, we know from his and his family's experience. You'll all be in this stranger's thoughts.
Anonymous
04/17/2022 19:20
Subject: Re:Help! Song choice for first dance…dying man
Just sending you, your mom, your stepdad and all his family and friends lots of love.
Anonymous
04/17/2022 19:01
Subject: Re:Help! Song choice for first dance…dying man
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If he liked Stand by Me, try Unchained Melody. It’s one of my dad’s favorite songs and he’s the same age and loves Stand by Me. He also loves loves loves Midnight Train to Georgia but that’s not really the first dance vibe you’re going for.
Oh! He also loves Beyond the Sea by Bobby Darin - that could fit the bill!
My dad loved Beyond the Sea too. In his last few months of life when we would listen to that song my dad would point to me at the line "we will meet beyond the sea" and it would choke me up every time.
Anonymous
04/17/2022 18:57
Subject: Re:Help! Song choice for first dance…dying man
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If he liked Stand by Me, try Unchained Melody. It’s one of my dad’s favorite songs and he’s the same age and loves Stand by Me. He also loves loves loves Midnight Train to Georgia but that’s not really the first dance vibe you’re going for.
Oh! He also loves Beyond the Sea by Bobby Darin - that could fit the bill!
That sounds perfect, OP!
Beyond the Sea is perfect!
Anonymous
04/17/2022 18:29
Subject: Re:Help! Song choice for first dance…dying man
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If he liked Stand by Me, try Unchained Melody. It’s one of my dad’s favorite songs and he’s the same age and loves Stand by Me. He also loves loves loves Midnight Train to Georgia but that’s not really the first dance vibe you’re going for.
Oh! He also loves Beyond the Sea by Bobby Darin - that could fit the bill!
That sounds perfect, OP!