Anonymous wrote:Wow! Much hatred! Np here, why is it so bad to live with your in laws...sounds like a tight knit family..

It’s not bad to live with your in-laws, it’s bad to do so without agreeing to first.

Wow! Much hatred! Np here, why is it so bad to live with your in laws...sounds like a tight knit family..

Anonymous wrote:Have some respect for yourself. Who cares that your DH is the breadwinner? By law 50% of his income is yours and would be yours if you divorce. You're the only one giving him this power over you. You shouldn't have agreed to buy this awful house. Basically your inlaws just used you like a piggy bank.

Also, you could have inherited this house with a stepped up value if you hadn't purchased it.

This is fake. No one talks like this.

Can you afford to pay the IL mortgage and get another house?

Dh is the breadwinner and we bought my parent’s house. We ended up just paying off the mortgage. It is my own parents and I would go crazy if I had to live with them.

Caring for elderly parents isn’t unheard of but it doesn’t sound like this was what the plan was. I mean you can’t expect him to kick his sick elderly parents out of the house.

I would never in a million years live with my ILs. Dh would know better.

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Anonymous wrote:Have some respect for yourself. Who cares that your DH is the breadwinner? By law 50% of his income is yours and would be yours if you divorce. You're the only one giving him this power over you. You shouldn't have agreed to buy this awful house. Basically your inlaws just used you like a piggy bank.

Also, you could have inherited this house with a stepped up value if you hadn't purchased it.

She will definitely not receive 50% of his income if they divorce. That’s laughable.

She’ll absolutely be getting 50% of the house they just bought, and not 50% of the artificially low purchase price, 50% of market value. Hope the in-laws are in better financial shape than they seem to be if they really want to live there.

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Anonymous wrote:OP you are a free loader. Your husband is apparently fine with this, but he’s also apparently fine supporting his parents too. You can’t really complain since you are doing the exact same thing they are.

Troll is back.

Not a troll. She has no job and no children with this man, or any children in the home. She is his second wife. How can she complain that her parents want to live rent free in his house?

Literally nothing on your list is a requirement to be met to not be lied to by your spouse.

When did he lie?

He told her the agreement was they were purchasing the house and the in laws were vacating the house.

What if that was the agreement and then the in-laws health/situation changed? You make it like it was some sinister plot to deceive OP. There is absolutely no proof of that.

If the situation changed then it needed to be discussed with OP, the DH doesn’t get to decide he’s moving back in with mommy and daddy and expect a grown woman to just go along with it. It doesn’t have to be “a sinister plot” the facts are clear that he lied, and again, not being lied to has nothing to do with whether you work outside the home.

Women don't like this answer, but when they have no assets or income source of their own, they lose most of their leverage in financial and life decisions. Their house is sold, he can say they are moving in with the parents. She can threaten to leave, or actually do it, but other than that she really can't do anything else. Doubt she wants to support herself after 10 years. She can pitch a fit to him, and he may give in or he may not. We have no way to know.

She has exactly the same leverage a woman with a job has in this situation: don’t move in. They’ve been married ten years, she’s entitled to half of everything. I’d check into a five star hotel on the joint credit card and move into the new home when it’s previous owners vacated, and I have a job. No reason she can’t do the same, he’s on the hook to pay for her until a divorce settlement is in place.

She said they’ve been together ten years not that they’ve been married ten years.

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Anonymous wrote:OP you are a free loader. Your husband is apparently fine with this, but he’s also apparently fine supporting his parents too. You can’t really complain since you are doing the exact same thing they are.

Troll is back.

Not a troll. She has no job and no children with this man, or any children in the home. She is his second wife. How can she complain that her parents want to live rent free in his house?

Literally nothing on your list is a requirement to be met to not be lied to by your spouse.

When did he lie?

He told her the agreement was they were purchasing the house and the in laws were vacating the house.

What if that was the agreement and then the in-laws health/situation changed? You make it like it was some sinister plot to deceive OP. There is absolutely no proof of that.

If the situation changed then it needed to be discussed with OP, the DH doesn’t get to decide he’s moving back in with mommy and daddy and expect a grown woman to just go along with it. It doesn’t have to be “a sinister plot” the facts are clear that he lied, and again, not being lied to has nothing to do with whether you work outside the home.

Women don't like this answer, but when they have no assets or income source of their own, they lose most of their leverage in financial and life decisions. Their house is sold, he can say they are moving in with the parents. She can threaten to leave, or actually do it, but other than that she really can't do anything else. Doubt she wants to support herself after 10 years. She can pitch a fit to him, and he may give in or he may not. We have no way to know.

She has exactly the same leverage a woman with a job has in this situation: don’t move in. They’ve been married ten years, she’s entitled to half of everything. I’d check into a five star hotel on the joint credit card and move into the new home when it’s previous owners vacated, and I have a job. No reason she can’t do the same, he’s on the hook to pay for her until a divorce settlement is in place.

I agree with you up until the the divorce, but her post divorce prospects are not great. She doesn’t have any children she will get child support for and she will only get alimony for a limited number of years. She’s more stuck than you would be. Harder for her to call his bluff.

Girl, I would start looking for a job and talk to a lawyer to get your legal options sorted.

Otherwise, you will end up moving in and being the full time caregiver to your dhs parents. Which is fine if that's what you want to do.

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Anonymous wrote:OP you are a free loader. Your husband is apparently fine with this, but he’s also apparently fine supporting his parents too. You can’t really complain since you are doing the exact same thing they are.

Troll is back.

Not a troll. She has no job and no children with this man, or any children in the home. She is his second wife. How can she complain that her parents want to live rent free in his house?

Literally nothing on your list is a requirement to be met to not be lied to by your spouse.

When did he lie?

He told her the agreement was they were purchasing the house and the in laws were vacating the house.

What if that was the agreement and then the in-laws health/situation changed? You make it like it was some sinister plot to deceive OP. There is absolutely no proof of that.

If the situation changed then it needed to be discussed with OP, the DH doesn’t get to decide he’s moving back in with mommy and daddy and expect a grown woman to just go along with it. It doesn’t have to be “a sinister plot” the facts are clear that he lied, and again, not being lied to has nothing to do with whether you work outside the home.

Women don't like this answer, but when they have no assets or income source of their own, they lose most of their leverage in financial and life decisions. Their house is sold, he can say they are moving in with the parents. She can threaten to leave, or actually do it, but other than that she really can't do anything else. Doubt she wants to support herself after 10 years. She can pitch a fit to him, and he may give in or he may not. We have no way to know.

She has exactly the same leverage a woman with a job has in this situation: don’t move in. They’ve been married ten years, she’s entitled to half of everything. I’d check into a five star hotel on the joint credit card and move into the new home when it’s previous owners vacated, and I have a job. No reason she can’t do the same, he’s on the hook to pay for her until a divorce settlement is in place.

Anonymous wrote:DH is enmeshed with his parents. You will always come last, always. The three of them knew the deal. I’m sorry, OP. Time to meet with a lawyer and review your options.

This. Plus it sounds like OP and her husband haven't fully merged lives. OP, I'm sorry. It's clear that they all knew the deal and your husband just didn't tell you. You can either accept it or leave, but it looks like a really hard road if you stay.

Anonymous wrote:what is the HHI here? just wondering.

My guess would be $200-$300k max.

what is the HHI here? just wondering.

Anonymous wrote:Have some respect for yourself. Who cares that your DH is the breadwinner? By law 50% of his income is yours and would be yours if you divorce. You're the only one giving him this power over you. You shouldn't have agreed to buy this awful house. Basically your inlaws just used you like a piggy bank.

Also, you could have inherited this house with a stepped up value if you hadn't purchased it.

She will definitely not receive 50% of his income if they divorce. That’s laughable.

My BIL and SIL bought FIL's house. FIL conveyed, "but just for a little while." Ten years later, SIL had to make her husband accept a job in a different city and sell the house out from under dad to end the situation. He promptly moved in with another relative... after he received some money from the sale proceeds. Because apparently he had only sold BIL a portion of the house.

Some people are users. Check your deed and mortgage paperwork.

Have some respect for yourself. Who cares that your DH is the breadwinner? By law 50% of his income is yours and would be yours if you divorce. You're the only one giving him this power over you. You shouldn't have agreed to buy this awful house. Basically your inlaws just used you like a piggy bank.

Also, you could have inherited this house with a stepped up value if you hadn't purchased it.