Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ OP, I know it may be hard, but take a look at that prior post and try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes for just a few minutes here. You are focused on you right now - getting the kind of attention that you want from the kind of guy that suits you at this moment. The problem is that what you want (or think you want) will have catastrophic impact on others around you, and even on you if you think about it. Save for a few moments of gratification, no good can come from you running around with married men. (Yes, I noticed you said “men” in the plural, not even just one guy.) You are better than this; your kids are better than this; your friend circle is better than this. You have the chance right now to stop the nonsense, get your house in order, be a good parent to your kids, be a good friend to others, and live a life where you can hold your head up and be proud of how you conduct your life. I personally think the best thing you can be is a good role model for your kids and a trustworthy friend to others. What you are contemplating is the opposite of that and will not serve you. Good luck and hope you make the right decisions.

Maybe she isn’t better. Maybe she is that type of cheater that has always been supremely selfish, blameless and lacking empathy and morals. Self-righteous and passive aggressive. These type of cheating women and men certainly aren’t in short supply.

Anonymous wrote:Suppose you are separated for 7 months. Eveyone in you and you exes circle knows. For years leading up to the sepration, you had 'chemistry' with two of the other husbands in your circle. Since separation flirting has increased noticeably.

I don't want another husband, but I would like an occasional affectionate partner. If it was kept purely physical and no emotions at all, (I guarantee I can do this) how feasibale is it for the next few months?

I just want some physical intimacy with men I 'know'. I have no interest in hook ups off the internet.

I'm 42, in the DC area, custody of 10-13 YO kids is split and the separation is amicable. I can't be the only one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ OP, I know it may be hard, but take a look at that prior post and try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes for just a few minutes here. You are focused on you right now - getting the kind of attention that you want from the kind of guy that suits you at this moment. The problem is that what you want (or think you want) will have catastrophic impact on others around you, and even on you if you think about it. Save for a few moments of gratification, no good can come from you running around with married men. (Yes, I noticed you said “men” in the plural, not even just one guy.) You are better than this; your kids are better than this; your friend circle is better than this. You have the chance right now to stop the nonsense, get your house in order, be a good parent to your kids, be a good friend to others, and live a life where you can hold your head up and be proud of how you conduct your life. I personally think the best thing you can be is a good role model for your kids and a trustworthy friend to others. What you are contemplating is the opposite of that and will not serve you. Good luck and hope you make the right decisions.

Maybe she isn’t better. Maybe she is that type of cheater that has always been supremely selfish, blameless and lacking empathy and morals. Self-righteous and passive aggressive. These type of cheating women and men certainly aren’t in short supply.

I think there is hope for OP. If what she’s saying is true, she hasn’t acted (yet) on the “chemistry.” She probably is going through a tough time with her separation, and now the holidays, and seeing what others have that she does not have at present. The holidays can be tough, plus the Covid scare on top of everything. It’s no wonder OP might be eager for affection from someone familiar, and who seems to be expressing some interest in her.

But OP make no mistake - cheating men have a “type,” and that type is the desperate woman whose circumstances make it unlikely she will spill the beans on him. You being in the friend circle makes it unlikely you’d spill the beans, so you are more of a safe bet for the cheater. This is NOT a good thing. This is not a compliment. Do not, in your moment of weakness, set yourself up to be somebody’s side piece. Again, you are better than that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ OP, I know it may be hard, but take a look at that prior post and try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes for just a few minutes here. You are focused on you right now - getting the kind of attention that you want from the kind of guy that suits you at this moment. The problem is that what you want (or think you want) will have catastrophic impact on others around you, and even on you if you think about it. Save for a few moments of gratification, no good can come from you running around with married men. (Yes, I noticed you said “men” in the plural, not even just one guy.) You are better than this; your kids are better than this; your friend circle is better than this. You have the chance right now to stop the nonsense, get your house in order, be a good parent to your kids, be a good friend to others, and live a life where you can hold your head up and be proud of how you conduct your life. I personally think the best thing you can be is a good role model for your kids and a trustworthy friend to others. What you are contemplating is the opposite of that and will not serve you. Good luck and hope you make the right decisions.

Maybe she isn’t better. Maybe she is that type of cheater that has always been supremely selfish, blameless and lacking empathy and morals. Self-righteous and passive aggressive. These type of cheating women and men certainly aren’t in short supply.

Anonymous wrote:And I will add that the spouse (male) in our group who forgave his wife felt like he got a lot of backlash and judgment for forgiving and staying and that she, his wife, was getting a far worse degree of judgment that the guy (his close friend sadly) she cheated with. Probably true.

Anonymous wrote:^^ OP, I know it may be hard, but take a look at that prior post and try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes for just a few minutes here. You are focused on you right now - getting the kind of attention that you want from the kind of guy that suits you at this moment. The problem is that what you want (or think you want) will have catastrophic impact on others around you, and even on you if you think about it. Save for a few moments of gratification, no good can come from you running around with married men. (Yes, I noticed you said “men” in the plural, not even just one guy.) You are better than this; your kids are better than this; your friend circle is better than this. You have the chance right now to stop the nonsense, get your house in order, be a good parent to your kids, be a good friend to others, and live a life where you can hold your head up and be proud of how you conduct your life. I personally think the best thing you can be is a good role model for your kids and a trustworthy friend to others. What you are contemplating is the opposite of that and will not serve you. Good luck and hope you make the right decisions.

Anonymous wrote:The scarlet letter treatment lives on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suppose you are separated for 7 months. Eveyone in you and you exes circle knows. For years leading up to the sepration, you had 'chemistry' with two of the other husbands in your circle. Since separation flirting has increased noticeably.

I don't want another husband, but I would like an occasional affectionate partner. If it was kept purely physical and no emotions at all, (I guarantee I can do this) how feasibale is it for the next few months?

I just want some physical intimacy with men I 'know'. I have no interest in hook ups off the internet.

I'm 42, in the DC area, custody of 10-13 YO kids is split and the separation is amicable. I can't be the only one.

On a scale of 1-10, how much do you value your friendship with the wives of the two men you are considering?

And the friendship of those wives’ friends, as most women would drop someone who screwed their friend’s husband.

Forget friendship. If I knew you were sleeping with a neighbor’s husband I would stay away from BOTH families. I do not invite drama in my life and even if our kids were friends, I would low key try to discourage the relationship through attrition, basically being “busy” for play dates and avoiding when possible.

And that is why it’s so isolating for betrayed spouses. They lose friends and become a pariah through nothing that they did. It’s supremely unfair that they carry that shame.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lawyers are great for this. get a lawyer (married or not) that is NOT in your circle. Those flirty husbands that you think you know...these creeps are a HUGE red flag. Do NOT go there.

This

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suppose you are separated for 7 months. Eveyone in you and you exes circle knows. For years leading up to the sepration, you had 'chemistry' with two of the other husbands in your circle. Since separation flirting has increased noticeably.

I don't want another husband, but I would like an occasional affectionate partner. If it was kept purely physical and no emotions at all, (I guarantee I can do this) how feasibale is it for the next few months?

I just want some physical intimacy with men I 'know'. I have no interest in hook ups off the internet.

I'm 42, in the DC area, custody of 10-13 YO kids is split and the separation is amicable. I can't be the only one.

On a scale of 1-10, how much do you value your friendship with the wives of the two men you are considering?

And the friendship of those wives’ friends, as most women would drop someone who screwed their friend’s husband.

Forget friendship. If I knew you were sleeping with a neighbor’s husband I would stay away from BOTH families. I do not invite drama in my life and even if our kids were friends, I would low key try to discourage the relationship through attrition, basically being “busy” for play dates and avoiding when possible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suppose you are separated for 7 months. Eveyone in you and you exes circle knows. For years leading up to the sepration, you had 'chemistry' with two of the other husbands in your circle. Since separation flirting has increased noticeably.

I don't want another husband, but I would like an occasional affectionate partner. If it was kept purely physical and no emotions at all, (I guarantee I can do this) how feasibale is it for the next few months?

I just want some physical intimacy with men I 'know'. I have no interest in hook ups off the internet.

I'm 42, in the DC area, custody of 10-13 YO kids is split and the separation is amicable. I can't be the only one.

On a scale of 1-10, how much do you value your friendship with the wives of the two men you are considering?

And the friendship of those wives’ friends, as most women would drop someone who screwed their friend’s husband.