Have your spouse leave for 2 weeks without preparing or telling you anything that needed to be done before leaving.
See who fared better with the other one gone.

My husband was completely and totally lost when I went on a work trip for a week and I had prepared things and notes for him beforehand and he still struggled because he didn't plan ahead to make lunches the night before or do laundry to make sure the uniforms were washed. He didn't get a birthday present that our daughter was supposed to take to a party.

Now when he was gone I took out the trash and I mowed the lawn. Other than that there was nothing else I rely on him for that I don't already do or take care of or manage already. And to be honest, those two tasks took under an hour.

Actually, my husband is amazing and so no complaints but if there are diagreements on this topic, he will be very aggressive in his reaponse. So although not much of complaining in general on both sides, how they respond to what they consider to be a challenge is quite different. I think you see the aggressiveness in the many responses here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women do much more. Men are lazy at home.

Men aren’t lazy. Maybe your man is, but not men as a whole. Make better choices in men and you won’t have that problem. Not our fault you married a lazy guy.

If you are a woman, please step away. If you got the one in a million, be thankful and stop acting like we had all these opportunities for that one in a million. our society still grooms men and women, such that women bear more of the burden in the home, even when both partners work.

Honestly, F off.

Anonymous wrote:Complain more. A lot more. A lot lot more.

With good reason.

Upper middle class experience here, but generally see the mothers far more "managing" everything except certain discrete tasks the male does. I'm in an unusual situation as the male who does the tasks more typical of the mother (cook, clean, manage household, provision, remember dates, realize the logistics and try to make the plans fit the reality of what has to happen (i.e. we can't just go do something without other stuff happening), etc.). My wife does some things like the majority of our kid's clothes shopping but we end up tag teaming a lot of other stuff related to the kids. I make the lunches. I do 98% of pickup/drop-off. I also have a FT job (with flexibility) but I'm often over-stressed. And I realize in the majority of relationships it's the mom in my role. But I also know other dads like this. (also, fwiw, I'm decently compensated (150k+) but my wife makes 5-6 times what I make so there's some inherent acceptance of this due to the salary/job demands, and also I'm better at the household stuff

Anonymous wrote:I'm a DH and I feel I do my share around the house include most of the childcare, mostly because I have a more flexible work schedule and DW is not good with our special needs kid so I do the bulk of caring there.

DW does have higher cleaning standards bordering on OCD. For example, she will wipe the kitchen counters several time WHILE I AM STILL COOKING. I'd wait until I was finished and wipe the counter once. Of course she's doing "more work" but is it really necessary to wipe the counters mid-meal prep?

No, but I'm on a site where women are complaining that the men read while the kids are at the pool and can't even watch the child for five minutes while the wife uses the bathroom even when asked. It's hard to generalize but if I could just from overall experience, I don't see many women completely incapable of taking care of a house and kids to a minimal level of competency. Some are terrible, but generally they are able to with some degree of success. There are whole groups of men that just lose it around the house and with the kids. Dads not capable of watching their kids for 2 minutes at a pool. Others not capable of washing a dish ever. Opening up five containers of applesause rather than eating one at a time. The level of dysfunction is greater with the males and probably the level of OCD is larger with the females related to household tasks.

Anonymous wrote:I would complain less if he did more.

+1 million