I grew up vegetarian in a time when practically everything was cooked with meat (green beans cooked in chicken broth, etc). I always ate a full meal at before going to dinner at someone’s house. I’d then push food around a plate to look like I ate something, eat some bread, then bring nice bottles of wine to share.

If this gf is really vegetarian, then she should learn how to deal with people who don’t want to accommodate her.

Anonymous wrote:How far would I go in this situation? As far as my fridge. No further.

This is the answer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How far would I go in this situation? As far as my fridge. No further.

+1 This girlfriend has made a lifestyle choice. Choices have consequences. The consequence of her lifestyle choice is that her food options may be limited at my house when I'm cooking for my family. If she wants to bring her own food, then that's fine but she needs to be ready to prepare it without being in my way and without impeding me as I prepare meals for my family, who have not made such a dramatic lifestyle choice.

Amen to that!

Anonymous wrote:Vegan people are well-versed in bringing their own dishes to parties, this should be no different. If they want to brave the pre-Christmas crowds at the grocery store, so be it. OP should not have to do that as the host.

Exactly. This reminds what my sister's mother-in-law did. My sister's mother-in-law decided to be a vegan and told my sister about it 2 days before my sister had catering for her daughter's communion. My sister was pissed. I told my sister, don't worry, your crazy mother-in-law can bring salad or yoghurt or whatever; or just eat desert. My sister who is very busy with her kids and works full time shouldn't have to think about the last minute how to accommodate this kind of request, especially that catering menu was ordered long before. I hate when people have demands like that.

I have dietary/food restrictions and definitely don't expect others to accommodate me. I bring my own food that I can eat.

Anonymous wrote:How far would I go in this situation? As far as my fridge. No further.

+1 This girlfriend has made a lifestyle choice. Choices have consequences. The consequence of her lifestyle choice is that her food options may be limited at my house when I'm cooking for my family. If she wants to bring her own food, then that's fine but she needs to be ready to prepare it without being in my way and without impeding me as I prepare meals for my family, who have not made such a dramatic lifestyle choice.

Side of spuds with margarine, green veggie for all, plus a frozen veggie pattie. Bon Appetit!

I’d adjust anything easy to tweak (no butter in vegetables, set aside some plain mashed potatoes before adding butter/cream to the rest), tell them the menu, and let them know they can bring other stuff.

If they pouted over that, I’d make the menu as originally planned and set a box of cereal and a carton of almond milk at the end of the buffet.

I would try to accommodate.

My holiday meal is a salad; a beef wellington plus roast veg; and a non-vegan dessert.

I'd serve the salad with goat cheese on the side.
I'd do the roast veg with oil not butter (that's not hard).
I'd add a quick curried chickpea dish to the rotation (canned chickpeas tossed to warm in oil plus turmeric/garlic/curry powder).

I'll also set out a cheeseboard with crackers and charcuterie in the early afternoon; so I'd ask them to bring hummus.
I'd ask them to bring a dessert.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I feel like your disdain for your brother's GF is probably coloring your reaction a bit. The best thing to do in cases like this is to say as little as possible. "Glad Larla can join us, I just finished grocery shopping, but definitely bring whatever you want!" done.

Exactly. +1

+2

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell them not to come.

But my Dh also does this nonstop to his family. Like he tells his parents 2 days before thanksgiving that the 5 of us are coming. I had asked previously and he said he’s talked to his parents already. Except when I text his mom asking what to bring she had no idea. Men are such bad planners.

Nope! This is not how men in my family or friend group behave.

Just be glad it is not Passover...Passover and Vegan is tough.

How far would I go in this situation? As far as my fridge. No further.

I’d tell them not to come.

But my Dh also does this nonstop to his family. Like he tells his parents 2 days before thanksgiving that the 5 of us are coming. I had asked previously and he said he’s talked to his parents already. Except when I text his mom asking what to bring she had no idea. Men are such bad planners.

Anonymous wrote:OP - I feel like your disdain for your brother's GF is probably coloring your reaction a bit. The best thing to do in cases like this is to say as little as possible. "Glad Larla can join us, I just finished grocery shopping, but definitely bring whatever you want!" done.

Exactly. +1