Anonymous wrote:I’m afraid to say anything about anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Black.

Please don’t say that. You sound ignorant.

I’m Black PP.

This is something I noticed about white/Black people over the years. I notice white people frequently mention other white people’s tans, but they hesitate to mention those of Black people.

I just wonder if it’s a conscious thing. I actually wouldn’t mind someone (Black or white) mentioning my tan. I tan very easily, and I like it. It just seems like some white people actively avoid mentioning Black folks’ tans. I’m wondering if I’m off base in thinking this.



[OP]

I'm white and I used to mention people's tans 30 years ago when it was cool. But we've really been conditioned to think of tanning as unhealthy. As someone who's super-fair and has a family history of skin cancer, I am not impressed with people's tans and certainly don't comment on them. Now, maybe that's different for people with darker complexions. But I thought you can get skin cancer too. Just not as often.

Anyway, that's why this 50-something white woman never comments on anyone's sun damage.

Of course we can get skin cancer.

To the white people: I don’t know any Black people who go “tanning,” which I think of as intentionally sitting in the sun to get dark…or, God forbid, going to a tanning salon.

That’s not what this is. This is simply getting tanned while on vacation. I never sit out in the sun for the fun of it, and I always wear sun protection. As I said, I tan easily. It happens to me during any vacation that involves being outside. I know that happens to other Black people, too.

So, our returning home with a tan doesn’t involve your antiquated habits of intentionally trying to darken our skin….for the vast majority of (if not all) Black people.

[OP]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like commenting on black people's skin tone is one of those things I am willing to give up to avoid the possibility of being an asshole. Costs/benefits.

You need more black friends. You might discover that they're more reasonable than you think.

👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽

Not wanting someone to comment on our skin color does not make us unreasonable.

Well, you're not being unreasonable for thinking that, but you're being unreasonable for purposes of this thread.

No one is saying it's cool to just say randomly to a black person: "gee, I just looove the color of your skin." We're talking about a situation where a friend who is black goes to the beach and comes back with a tan. If you don't want to get a tan when you're at the beach -- whether you're black or white -- it's very easy to avoid. So if you go to the beach and come back with a different skin tone, it's likely because you wanted it. And if I think you're looking good, I'll say something. I don't care if you're black, white, or green.

No, actually tanning is not “very easy to avoid”. I tan deeply and noticeably when I slather myself with SPF 70 sunscreen. I have not tried slathering myself with whatever Mark Zuckerberg uses for reasons that are probably obvious, including not being “easy” or remotely comfortable or attractive.

So, even if you’re green, your assumptions, likely based only on your own personal experiences, are incorrect.

I'm basically see through but one of my kids is darker skinned thanks to my husband’s genes. I put the exact same sunscreen on all of the kids- the ghostly ones like me stay ghostly plus some freckles while the darker one gets golden brown. So yeah some people are going to tan through sunscreen, PP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like commenting on black people's skin tone is one of those things I am willing to give up to avoid the possibility of being an asshole. Costs/benefits.

You need more black friends. You might discover that they're more reasonable than you think.

👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽

Not wanting someone to comment on our skin color does not make us unreasonable.

Well, you're not being unreasonable for thinking that, but you're being unreasonable for purposes of this thread.

No one is saying it's cool to just say randomly to a black person: "gee, I just looove the color of your skin." We're talking about a situation where a friend who is black goes to the beach and comes back with a tan. If you don't want to get a tan when you're at the beach -- whether you're black or white -- it's very easy to avoid. So if you go to the beach and come back with a different skin tone, it's likely because you wanted it. And if I think you're looking good, I'll say something. I don't care if you're black, white, or green.

No, actually tanning is not “very easy to avoid”. I tan deeply and noticeably when I slather myself with SPF 70 sunscreen. I have not tried slathering myself with whatever Mark Zuckerberg uses for reasons that are probably obvious, including not being “easy” or remotely comfortable or attractive.

So, even if you’re green, your assumptions, likely based only on your own personal experiences, are incorrect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like commenting on black people's skin tone is one of those things I am willing to give up to avoid the possibility of being an asshole. Costs/benefits.

You need more black friends. You might discover that they're more reasonable than you think.

👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽

Not wanting someone to comment on our skin color does not make us unreasonable.

Well, you're not being unreasonable for thinking that, but you're being unreasonable for purposes of this thread.

No one is saying it's cool to just say randomly to a black person: "gee, I just looove the color of your skin." We're talking about a situation where a friend who is black goes to the beach and comes back with a tan. If you don't want to get a tan when you're at the beach -- whether you're black or white -- it's very easy to avoid. So if you go to the beach and come back with a different skin tone, it's likely because you wanted it. And if I think you're looking good, I'll say something. I don't care if you're black, white, or green.

No, actually tanning is not “very easy to avoid”. I tan deeply and noticeably when I slather myself with SPF 70 sunscreen. I have not tried slathering myself with whatever Mark Zuckerberg uses for reasons that are probably obvious, including not being “easy” or remotely comfortable or attractive.

So, even if you’re green, your assumptions, likely based only on your own personal experiences, are incorrect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Black.

Please don’t say that. You sound ignorant.

I’m Black PP.

This is something I noticed about white/Black people over the years. I notice white people frequently mention other white people’s tans, but they hesitate to mention those of Black people.

I just wonder if it’s a conscious thing. I actually wouldn’t mind someone (Black or white) mentioning my tan. I tan very easily, and I like it. It just seems like some white people actively avoid mentioning Black folks’ tans. I’m wondering if I’m off base in thinking this.

[OP]

I'm white and I used to mention people's tans 30 years ago when it was cool. But we've really been conditioned to think of tanning as unhealthy. As someone who's super-fair and has a family history of skin cancer, I am not impressed with people's tans and certainly don't comment on them. Now, maybe that's different for people with darker complexions. But I thought you can get skin cancer too. Just not as often.

Anyway, that's why this 50-something white woman never comments on anyone's sun damage.

Of course we can get skin cancer.

To the white people: I don’t know any Black people who go “tanning,” which I think of as intentionally sitting in the sun to get dark…or, God forbid, going to a tanning salon.

That’s not what this is. This is simply getting tanned while on vacation. I never sit out in the sun for the fun of it, and I always wear sun protection. As I said, I tan easily. It happens to me during any vacation that involves being outside. I know that happens to other Black people, too.

So, our returning home with a tan doesn’t involve your antiquated habits of intentionally trying to darken our skin….for the vast majority of (if not all) Black people.

[OP]

My best friend from middle and high school was light skin black and went to tan at the tanning beds and by the pool. Her mom too.

Doubt they would do that now given better info about skin cancer, but intentional tanning does occur because not all Black people are the same.

On the flip side, my former darker skin boyfriend hated being out in the sun and getting more tan.

I would stay quiet unless you knew the person well enough to have open conversations about skin color in POC communities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Black.

Please don’t say that. You sound ignorant.

I’m Black PP.

This is something I noticed about white/Black people over the years. I notice white people frequently mention other white people’s tans, but they hesitate to mention those of Black people.

I just wonder if it’s a conscious thing. I actually wouldn’t mind someone (Black or white) mentioning my tan. I tan very easily, and I like it. It just seems like some white people actively avoid mentioning Black folks’ tans. I’m wondering if I’m off base in thinking this.



[OP]

I'm white and I used to mention people's tans 30 years ago when it was cool. But we've really been conditioned to think of tanning as unhealthy. As someone who's super-fair and has a family history of skin cancer, I am not impressed with people's tans and certainly don't comment on them. Now, maybe that's different for people with darker complexions. But I thought you can get skin cancer too. Just not as often.

Anyway, that's why this 50-something white woman never comments on anyone's sun damage.

Of course we can get skin cancer.

To the white people: I don’t know any Black people who go “tanning,” which I think of as intentionally sitting in the sun to get dark…or, God forbid, going to a tanning salon.

That’s not what this is. This is simply getting tanned while on vacation. I never sit out in the sun for the fun of it, and I always wear sun protection. As I said, I tan easily. It happens to me during any vacation that involves being outside. I know that happens to other Black people, too.

So, our returning home with a tan doesn’t involve your antiquated habits of intentionally trying to darken our skin….for the vast majority of (if not all) Black people.

[OP]

My best friend from middle and high school was light skin black and went to tan at the tanning beds and by the pool. Her mom too.

Doubt they would do that now given better info about skin cancer, but intentional tanning does occur because not all Black people are the same.

On the flip side, my former darker skin boyfriend hated being out in the sun and getting more tan.

I would stay quiet unless you knew the person well enough to have open conversations about skin color in POC communities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Black.

Please don’t say that. You sound ignorant.

I’m Black PP.

This is something I noticed about white/Black people over the years. I notice white people frequently mention other white people’s tans, but they hesitate to mention those of Black people.

I just wonder if it’s a conscious thing. I actually wouldn’t mind someone (Black or white) mentioning my tan. I tan very easily, and I like it. It just seems like some white people actively avoid mentioning Black folks’ tans. I’m wondering if I’m off base in thinking this.



[OP]

I'm white and I used to mention people's tans 30 years ago when it was cool. But we've really been conditioned to think of tanning as unhealthy. As someone who's super-fair and has a family history of skin cancer, I am not impressed with people's tans and certainly don't comment on them. Now, maybe that's different for people with darker complexions. But I thought you can get skin cancer too. Just not as often.

Anyway, that's why this 50-something white woman never comments on anyone's sun damage.

Of course we can get skin cancer.

To the white people: I don’t know any Black people who go “tanning,” which I think of as intentionally sitting in the sun to get dark…or, God forbid, going to a tanning salon.

That’s not what this is. This is simply getting tanned while on vacation. I never sit out in the sun for the fun of it, and I always wear sun protection. As I said, I tan easily. It happens to me during any vacation that involves being outside. I know that happens to other Black people, too.

So, our returning home with a tan doesn’t involve your antiquated habits of intentionally trying to darken our skin….for the vast majority of (if not all) Black people.

[OP]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like commenting on black people's skin tone is one of those things I am willing to give up to avoid the possibility of being an asshole. Costs/benefits.

You need more black friends. You might discover that they're more reasonable than you think.

👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽

Not wanting someone to comment on our skin color does not make us unreasonable.

Well, you're not being unreasonable for thinking that, but you're being unreasonable for purposes of this thread.

No one is saying it's cool to just say randomly to a black person: "gee, I just looove the color of your skin." We're talking about a situation where a friend who is black goes to the beach and comes back with a tan. If you don't want to get a tan when you're at the beach -- whether you're black or white -- it's very easy to avoid. So if you go to the beach and come back with a different skin tone, it's likely because you wanted it. And if I think you're looking good, I'll say something. I don't care if you're black, white, or green.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Black.

Please don’t say that. You sound ignorant.

I’m Black PP.

This is something I noticed about white/Black people over the years. I notice white people frequently mention other white people’s tans, but they hesitate to mention those of Black people.

I just wonder if it’s a conscious thing. I actually wouldn’t mind someone (Black or white) mentioning my tan. I tan very easily, and I like it. It just seems like some white people actively avoid mentioning Black folks’ tans. I’m wondering if I’m off base in thinking this.



[OP]

I'm white and I used to mention people's tans 30 years ago when it was cool. But we've really been conditioned to think of tanning as unhealthy. As someone who's super-fair and has a family history of skin cancer, I am not impressed with people's tans and certainly don't comment on them. Now, maybe that's different for people with darker complexions. But I thought you can get skin cancer too. Just not as often.

Anyway, that's why this 50-something white woman never comments on anyone's sun damage.

Of course we can get skin cancer.

To the white people: I don’t know any Black people who go “tanning,” which I think of as intentionally sitting in the sun to get dark…or, God forbid, going to a tanning salon.

That’s not what this is. This is simply getting tanned while on vacation. I never sit out in the sun for the fun of it, and I always wear sun protection. As I said, I tan easily. It happens to me during any vacation that involves being outside. I know that happens to other Black people, too.

So, our returning home with a tan doesn’t involve your antiquated habits of intentionally trying to darken our skin….for the vast majority of (if not all) Black people.

[OP]

Do you mean "your" skin?

No, I didn’t, actually.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Black.

Please don’t say that. You sound ignorant.

I’m Black PP.

This is something I noticed about white/Black people over the years. I notice white people frequently mention other white people’s tans, but they hesitate to mention those of Black people.

I just wonder if it’s a conscious thing. I actually wouldn’t mind someone (Black or white) mentioning my tan. I tan very easily, and I like it. It just seems like some white people actively avoid mentioning Black folks’ tans. I’m wondering if I’m off base in thinking this.



[OP]

I'm white and I used to mention people's tans 30 years ago when it was cool. But we've really been conditioned to think of tanning as unhealthy. As someone who's super-fair and has a family history of skin cancer, I am not impressed with people's tans and certainly don't comment on them. Now, maybe that's different for people with darker complexions. But I thought you can get skin cancer too. Just not as often.

Anyway, that's why this 50-something white woman never comments on anyone's sun damage.

Of course we can get skin cancer.

To the white people: I don’t know any Black people who go “tanning,” which I think of as intentionally sitting in the sun to get dark…or, God forbid, going to a tanning salon.

That’s not what this is. This is simply getting tanned while on vacation. I never sit out in the sun for the fun of it, and I always wear sun protection. As I said, I tan easily. It happens to me during any vacation that involves being outside. I know that happens to other Black people, too.

So, our returning home with a tan doesn’t involve your antiquated habits of intentionally trying to darken our skin….for the vast majority of (if not all) Black people.

[OP]

Do you mean "your" skin?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Black.

Please don’t say that. You sound ignorant.

I’m Black PP.

This is something I noticed about white/Black people over the years. I notice white people frequently mention other white people’s tans, but they hesitate to mention those of Black people.

I just wonder if it’s a conscious thing. I actually wouldn’t mind someone (Black or white) mentioning my tan. I tan very easily, and I like it. It just seems like some white people actively avoid mentioning Black folks’ tans. I’m wondering if I’m off base in thinking this.



[OP]

I'm white and I used to mention people's tans 30 years ago when it was cool. But we've really been conditioned to think of tanning as unhealthy. As someone who's super-fair and has a family history of skin cancer, I am not impressed with people's tans and certainly don't comment on them. Now, maybe that's different for people with darker complexions. But I thought you can get skin cancer too. Just not as often.

Anyway, that's why this 50-something white woman never comments on anyone's sun damage.

Of course we can get skin cancer.

To the white people: I don’t know any Black people who go “tanning,” which I think of as intentionally sitting in the sun to get dark…or, God forbid, going to a tanning salon.

That’s not what this is. This is simply getting tanned while on vacation. I never sit out in the sun for the fun of it, and I always wear sun protection. As I said, I tan easily. It happens to me during any vacation that involves being outside. I know that happens to other Black people, too.

So, our returning home with a tan doesn’t involve your antiquated habits of intentionally trying to darken our skin….for the vast majority of (if not all) Black people.

[OP]