Anonymous
11/28/2021 21:57
Subject: Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We hosted some friends for dinner last night. We provided the meal, one friend offered to bring a dessert. At the end of the night, she gathered up the rest of the apple pie plus the ice cream from our freezer and took it home with her. I found it so strange and it’s definitely something I would never do myself—I always leave the host with the leftovers of whatever I brought, unless they offer I take it home.
We’ve had two different friends and their families that do this. One of DH’s oldest friends in DC does this. We don’t invite them over much because they will bring a ridiculously exact amount of dessert, like one brownie for each person, so like 7 brownies, but easily go through several bottles of wine and seconds and thirds. If I don’t eat that brownie it’s swiftly packed up and taken home. One of my oldest friends will do that too. What’s funny is when we bring food to their house and there’s lots of leftovers, they never ask if we want to take it home (we never do), so it all just seems so cheap and grabby.
Ok, well it’s weird when people have different rules for when they host vs attend.
Anonymous
11/28/2021 21:22
Subject: Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?
Anonymous wrote:We hosted some friends for dinner last night. We provided the meal, one friend offered to bring a dessert. At the end of the night, she gathered up the rest of the apple pie plus the ice cream from our freezer and took it home with her. I found it so strange and it’s definitely something I would never do myself—I always leave the host with the leftovers of whatever I brought, unless they offer I take it home.
We’ve had two different friends and their families that do this. One of DH’s oldest friends in DC does this. We don’t invite them over much because they will bring a ridiculously exact amount of dessert, like one brownie for each person, so like 7 brownies, but easily go through several bottles of wine and seconds and thirds. If I don’t eat that brownie it’s swiftly packed up and taken home. One of my oldest friends will do that too. What’s funny is when we bring food to their house and there’s lots of leftovers, they never ask if we want to take it home (we never do), so it all just seems so cheap and grabby.
Anonymous
11/28/2021 20:33
Subject: Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?
around here, nobody would think anything of the person who brought something picking it up and taking it home. guess we are just low class.
i am on the bench of why leave all the leftovers for someone who probably doesn't have room to store them and can't eat them before they go bad.
<shrug>
i am on the bench of why leave all the leftovers for someone who probably doesn't have room to store them and can't eat them before they go bad.
<shrug>
Anonymous
11/28/2021 20:28
Subject: Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?
Just did a shared dinner tonight. Salad stayed at hosts house, chicken dish came home. Salad dressing went to another house as the person loved it. I was offered leftover dessert from another but declined it.
Anonymous
11/28/2021 20:18
Subject: Re:Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?
I would not care. If I wanted someone to leave their pie bc it was delicious and I wanted a slice for tomorrow, I would say so. I wouldn’t mind if someone took home their own leftovers. Less for me to clean (and eat).
Anonymous
11/28/2021 20:09
Subject: Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?
Anonymous wrote:There was a post here last year about a woman upset that the host did not have containers for the guests to box up the leftovers. Thanksgiving behavior is very bizarre!
+1 My stepmother hosts thanksgiving and she sends my dad out the next morning with containers full of leftovers for everyone, which is FANTASTIC but I consider that above and beyond and wouldn’t dream of expecting any host to do that. I’d never had another Thanksgiving or other big holiday do that in my fifty years until my dad married her. Leftovers are one of the awesome things about hosting. Particularly leftover dessert for breakfast the next day.
Anonymous
11/28/2021 20:03
Subject: Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?
I’m neutral. I don’t think it is tacky or weird. Leave leftovers or don’t. I don’t care. Honestly I’m not eating potluck leftovers, are you? Taking the home means less I have to clean up or throw out, so thanks! Leave them, that’s fine too and I’ll take care of as I see fit. You have too much time on your hands of this bothers you enough to make a post about it
Anonymous
11/28/2021 17:58
Subject: Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I host a lot of potlucks for friends gathering, and I prefer that guests took leftovers home. I don't really care if they take theirs or mine or someone elses, as long as I don't end up with fridge full of stuff.
Yes, honestly who wants a bunch of old potluck leftovers sitting around?
+2. Honestly, it's literally all thrown away after everyone leaves. The only thing we might keep is like a really nice sliced ham for breakfast or a sandwich the next day.
Anonymous
11/28/2021 17:55
Subject: Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?
Our friends and extended family knows we don't "do" leftovers, so everything will be pitched after they leave. So people tend to take what they want and we are actually grateful for it. OP saying they grabbed the ice cream from the freezer made me laugh, but not that strange if they assumed you'd pitch it.
Anonymous
11/28/2021 17:52
Subject: Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?
Tacky. She probably didn’t know better.
Another one is if someone brings you food, you return the dish with something in it. Like a little treat.
Another one is if someone brings you food, you return the dish with something in it. Like a little treat.
Anonymous
11/28/2021 17:48
Subject: Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?
Tacky and weird
Anonymous
11/28/2021 17:06
Subject: Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Huh, I have probably done something similar dozens of times, and the same with my friends. I guess I’m in the wrong, but it seems weird to me to bring something and leave it there, unless it’s like a hostess gift. Now I know better! Take pity on your friends who don’t know any better, I don’t remember going to any dinner parties with my parents, just informal backyard BBQs and we definitely brought back whatever was left in the casserole dish.
Same. I didn't know it was rude, so I'm learning. Typically the events/meals we go to are more of a potluck, with the hostess providing a main dish and others bringing sides/beverages (BYOB), so maybe that's different than being invited over for a dinner? Everyone takes home the leftovers of their dish and their beverages.
At the end of our big family meals like Thanksgiving, everyone makes to go containers of various foods.
^This is the distinction--if it's a potluck, you can assume the leftovers are for everyone and you can take your item back with you if it wasn't eaten. The OP indicated that it was a planned meal and the guest offered to bring dessert. In that case, the dessert would have typically been a gift to the host.
I completely disagree. The dessert was a gift to all in attendance and it was certainly the pie maker's prerogative to take home the pie leftovers. If I was the host then I would have wrapped up the rest of the pie because I was expecting the maker to take it home.
Frankly OP's post make it seem like OP (the host) is being greedy.
No, it was a gift to the host. And you never take back a gift.
Anonymous
11/28/2021 17:02
Subject: Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?
There was a post here last year about a woman upset that the host did not have containers for the guests to box up the leftovers. Thanksgiving behavior is very bizarre!
Anonymous
11/28/2021 16:59
Subject: Re:Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?
Anonymous wrote:I'd leave it if it was in a disposable dish but wouldn't feel obligated to leave a non-disposable dish, especially if I really like the dish and don't see the hosts very often.
For those of you who use a non-disposable dish that you don't want to leave, what do you do with the food when you are leaving? Ask the host if they want to transfer it to another plate or Tupperware? What if you're the host and don't want the guest to leave the food bc you won't eat it or don't have space for it?
You use your powers of communication to figure this out? Come on. If you're the host and you don't want the person to leave the food, you ask if they can take it back. If you need the dish back, you ask if the host wants to take any themselves, and then take the dish back. How is this so hard for so many of you?
Anonymous
11/28/2021 16:45
Subject: Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?
I think this is a weird hill to die on. If you wanted to keep all the dessert and eat it, you should have asked her to leave some. Most people, at dinner parties or potlucks, don't care about keeping things someone else brought.