Anonymous wrote:When the police came to my door to tell me that my baby brother (32) had killed himself the day before he was set to go off to start a program to begin a career change. We had plotted together and I had been his cheerleader, but it wasn’t enough.

Anonymous wrote:I spent several months in a children's hospital when my child was born with a lot of complications. I was lucky, my kid had a good outcome, but many of the friends I made there were not so lucky. You really see people in real pain there every day.

One thing that happened shortly after she was born - I had my wallet stolen when i left my jacket outside the NICU. I wasn't too bothered - had more important things to worry about at the time - but it always struck me that there are people who are willing to steal money from parents whose children are in the NICU.

Anonymous wrote:I feel relatively fortunate not to have experienced some of these horrendous losses. I also feel that every day something terrible could happen.


But these are the things that haunt me....

recently: when I hear my child talk about hating himself/killing himself/see how hard he is on himself and I worry so much for his future and the mental health issues he may have inherited.

age 14: the two months in which my dad left my mom for his AP, my mother spiraled and entered in patient while my dad was in south america with his gf. I was 14 and didn't have a way of even getting to the facility (much less getting groceries) until my older brother was able to pass his driving test so we could get there to see her and eventually bring her home. We had no other family close by so we were trying to figure it out.

age 25: when i discovered that my boyfriend was sleeping with my roommate. they are both terrible people and its no great loss, almost laughable now, but damn it hurt at the time.

age 33 when I had a miscarriage and my then boyfriend of 2 years and needed to go to the ER and he called me a taxi instead of coming with me/driving me.

age 37: going to the park with friends whose baby daughter had a terminal/progressive disease and seeing how hard it was for them to look at my same age daughter. My heart ached so so so much for them.

Anonymous wrote:Death of a child. But for me not finding out about the death, not the funeral, not the burial, but the first day back to work. Probably 7 months later. Just putting in my pantyhose and realizing my life, and the rest of the world, has to resume. I just know there would be a before and an after and the two worlds would never mesh. That feeling, was very peculiarly earth shattering. Just driving in my car, taking that same commute I always took, knowing that I was going to half to fake it for the rest of my life and pretend I’m in this before world still.

Anonymous wrote:My husband being killed in an accident when youngest was a year old.

I've done my best to salvage my kids' childhoods and find peace but I miss that man like crazy.