Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have responded with the “ I plan to breastfeed for a year” because that was not the question of my thread. I posted about my husband not being supportive. I didn’t post here specifically at first because I didn’t want the “ just formula feed” or comments about why I chose to breastfeed or that I shouldn’t listen to the medical professionals.

I’m not anti-formula. I have a good supply and don’t need it, but I’m willing to add in formula if I need it in the future.

It’s been hard. I didn’t expect to have these issues. I trust the medical professionals and will not stop giving a bottle because my baby not gaining weight was not normal. Some advice saying to stop bottle feeding and that my baby not gaining weight is fine is just plain dangerous advice. I went on another site and that was the exact responses I got that thought it was normal until I realized it wasn’t. It may have worked out for you in the end, but advising moms to do that is dangerous and not safe.

I plan to breastfeed for a year. I will probably try nursing for another month and switch to pumping if it doesn’t get better. Pumping is fine but I would rather nurse. He is getting better at nursing but sometimes it’s harder to keep him eating. He does take more in though then he did when he did in the first two weeks. I’m hopeful he will become stronger and be able to nurse without needing a bottle. We feed him all he wants to eat and never limit his intake. We do feed with a slow flow nipple but he still eats all that he wants.

My husband was very supportive at first. Now he isn’t. He agrees that nursing is important, but thinks I should follow up nursing with formula to make things easier. What he doesn’t understand is I’m usually still full on one side or sometimes both and need to pump to feel some relief after nursing. The lactation consultant said my supply will decrease if he only eats 1oz at a time and my body thinks that’s all I need to make every 2-3 hours. I make double that and don’t want to lose my supply since I want to breastfeed.

When I tell my husband how the day was or if we had a hard day he tells me “ I don’t want to hear it.” When I try to explain how he isn’t supportive he tells me he has offered solutions and if I don’t take them, he doesn’t care to talk about anything breastfeeding. I can’t even mention breastfeeding without him getting annoyed. If I tell him about a day that went well, he just is like “ that’s good” and that’s that. I just wish I had a partner who was more supportive and wanted to hear about my day and how things went.

He gets plenty of time with the baby and he does bottle feed when he’s home after I nurse. He spends most of the evening with the baby and then a lot of the time on the weekend.

Look, OP, I'm super annoyed with your responses here, so no wonder your husband doesn't want to hear it anymore. Stop talking about it and stop complaining. Your husband is right - he's offered you solutions and you haven't taken them, so either stop talking about it, or do something about it.

#teamhusband

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s tired. He doesn’t care. Scene.

She’s exhausting herself and will try no alternative way, which would get her some rest. He is stressed and feels overwhelmed because she refuses his help and advice and offers to directly help in the only way that he can, which is to feed the baby bottles of either pumped milk or formula. Scene.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being breastfed will save your kid from suffering GI problems and food allergies (especially dairy).

I didn't breastfeed either of my super healthy now college ages sons. Stop with the misinformation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s tired. He doesn’t care. Scene.

She’s exhausting herself and will try no alternative way, which would get her some rest. He is stressed and feels overwhelmed because she refuses his help and advice and offers to directly help in the only way that he can, which is to feed the baby bottles of either pumped milk or formula. Scene.

Anonymous wrote:Being breastfed will save your kid from suffering GI problems and food allergies (especially dairy).

Anonymous wrote:She’s tired. He doesn’t care. Scene.

Anonymous wrote:I'm amazed at all the posters here who are hyper-critical of OP and basically giving her DH a pass to be an @sshole. Breastfeeding is hard for a lot of women. Some swap to formula and others work through it. Both are good and valid approaches. OP is home all day with a 4 month old baby and it is hard, and her DH comes home and isn't open to hearing her vent about the frustrations?! OP, that is your DH's job right now. He can't breastfeed, he can't figure out the solution, but he can hold you and support you and tell you he loves you. This strikes me as a simple communication issue- some people feel a strong need to respond to problems with solutions, and some people with validation and emotional support. It feels here like OP you are looking for validation and emotional support and your DH is brushing you off because he can't bring a solution. That's not acceptable. You vent about how hard breastfeeding is, and he should say something like "I am so sorry you had a hard day. I know you are trying as hard as you can. Can I get you (fill in with a treat, or holding the baby while you shower, or a massage, or whatever)?"

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have responded with the “ I plan to breastfeed for a year” because that was not the question of my thread. I posted about my husband not being supportive. I didn’t post here specifically at first because I didn’t want the “ just formula feed” or comments about why I chose to breastfeed or that I shouldn’t listen to the medical professionals.

I’m not anti-formula. I have a good supply and don’t need it, but I’m willing to add in formula if I need it in the future.

It’s been hard. I didn’t expect to have these issues. I trust the medical professionals and will not stop giving a bottle because my baby not gaining weight was not normal. Some advice saying to stop bottle feeding and that my baby not gaining weight is fine is just plain dangerous advice. I went on another site and that was the exact responses I got that thought it was normal until I realized it wasn’t. It may have worked out for you in the end, but advising moms to do that is dangerous and not safe.

I plan to breastfeed for a year. I will probably try nursing for another month and switch to pumping if it doesn’t get better. Pumping is fine but I would rather nurse. He is getting better at nursing but sometimes it’s harder to keep him eating. He does take more in though then he did when he did in the first two weeks. I’m hopeful he will become stronger and be able to nurse without needing a bottle. We feed him all he wants to eat and never limit his intake. We do feed with a slow flow nipple but he still eats all that he wants.

My husband was very supportive at first. Now he isn’t. He agrees that nursing is important, but thinks I should follow up nursing with formula to make things easier. What he doesn’t understand is I’m usually still full on one side or sometimes both and need to pump to feel some relief after nursing. The lactation consultant said my supply will decrease if he only eats 1oz at a time and my body thinks that’s all I need to make every 2-3 hours. I make double that and don’t want to lose my supply since I want to breastfeed.

When I tell my husband how the day was or if we had a hard day he tells me “ I don’t want to hear it.” When I try to explain how he isn’t supportive he tells me he has offered solutions and if I don’t take them, he doesn’t care to talk about anything breastfeeding. I can’t even mention breastfeeding without him getting annoyed. If I tell him about a day that went well, he just is like “ that’s good” and that’s that. I just wish I had a partner who was more supportive and wanted to hear about my day and how things went.

He gets plenty of time with the baby and he does bottle feed when he’s home after I nurse. He spends most of the evening with the baby and then a lot of the time on the weekend.

Anonymous wrote:What is really going on here? Does DH have a problem with the time commitment? This isn't just about him not wanting to listen to complaining.