Anonymous
10/28/2021 13:16
Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Does he actually have money to rent a place, pay other bills, and not struggle?
The DMV area is so expensive for a one-income person. I know before I got married, I moved back in with my parents from ages 26-29 because I was sick of dealing with roommates and simply couldn't afford a place on my own.
I'm 33 and have a ton of single friends who still live with their parents. They are saving up to do a down payment on a house and are paying down student loans in the meantime. None of us think anything of it? It's just pretty normal in our circle and age group.
The DMV area is so expensive for a one-income person. I know before I got married, I moved back in with my parents from ages 26-29 because I was sick of dealing with roommates and simply couldn't afford a place on my own.
I'm 33 and have a ton of single friends who still live with their parents. They are saving up to do a down payment on a house and are paying down student loans in the meantime. None of us think anything of it? It's just pretty normal in our circle and age group.
Anonymous
10/28/2021 12:59
Subject: Re:What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have a 24 year old who earns $50k a year and is up for a promotion that will put her at earning $70k plus bonuses and she can remain living at home for as long as she wants to as long as she is saving money. We want her to be able to launch with enough savings for a down payment if she chooses to buy a home or enough to cover her living expenses for 1-2 years if she chooses to rent.
Why? That seems like an awful high bar to reach in order to move out. There are so many benefits to living with roommates/friends, I’m surprised so many people are dismissing it.
It makes sense to have roommates so that you are sharing the rent as well as are not alone, especially if you are away from home in another city for education or a job. BUT, makes zero sense to spend any money if your parents are cool with letting you be at home for zero or a small rent. The amount of money you can save is phenomenal and when you start your married life, you can afford an amazing home with a large down payment.
I am wondering, is this why people here are in a bad financial situation and can never dig themselves out of poverty? I thought this was an obvious solution?
I don’t think there is data on this, but my guess is people who leave home after college are more successful. They are more adventurous, entrepreneurial and have pressure to make smart financial decisions because they have rent and bills to pay, so they move along to better jobs & opportunities.
College grads that stay home tend to live in the suburbs where there aren’t as many jobs. Many some are good at socking away money, but many more are depressed, unstimulated and lonely.
Anonymous
10/28/2021 12:51
Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Lots of group homes in DuPont with 3-5 young adult friends each renting a room. There are ways to live in a variety of budgets. You’re not entitled to a new single Br apt right out of college, no matter what mass media tells you.
Anonymous
10/28/2021 12:21
Subject: Re:What age should a adult child move out?
All five of mine left for college and never moved back home. Two of them live in Alexandria. They are doing great despite the high cost of living. The other three are spread all over. I’m grateful they come home often to visit. But, I’m also grateful I raised kids who are strong, independent, and capable of living on their own.
Anonymous
10/28/2021 12:17
Subject: Re:What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:Are u making it too nice for him to leave? Who does his laundry, cooking, cleaning? If he going to live there, divide all chores by three and make him pay a nominal rent. Save that rent money and when he leaves give him a check for what he paid.
I am the pp. He does his own laundry. He cleans his space downstairs and helps out on cleaning day with the rest of the house. He saves and invests $3k a month over and above his 15% 401k. He cooks dinner for everyone once a week and is responsible for his own breakfasts and lunches (except for milk because it is easier to just have one gallon in the fridge). Any other questions?
Anonymous
10/28/2021 12:04
Subject: Re:What age should a adult child move out?
Are u making it too nice for him to leave? Who does his laundry, cooking, cleaning? If he going to live there, divide all chores by three and make him pay a nominal rent. Save that rent money and when he leaves give him a check for what he paid.
Anonymous
10/28/2021 11:51
Subject: Re:What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My son is also 24. He graduated from college in Dec 2019 and we suggested he live at home for a year and see where his social life was compared to his job. Plus, he could save some money. We said he could if he put $3k a month into a savings plan- over and above the 15% he is putting into his 401k. Covid hit and he is still living at home. He works here too as and not had much of a social life since Covid. We have set next June as a target date for moving out. He is still working from home, but I expect that to change in Jan. A bonus of Covid for him is that he has saved more than the $3k month. He just got a promotion and last Jan started a Masters through his employer - online first as a result of Covid. So, he should be set.
I am glad he did not have an apartment from the get go because he would be alone in it and working from home alone.
Do your neighbors know how old he is? The main reason I want him to move out is because I just don't know what our neighbors are thinking.... I am pretty sure they are asking himself why is Andy still living at home when he graduated college etc...
Yes they know how old he is. We talk to our neighbors. So they know he is working and living st home. No one seems to have a problem with it.
I will add that he is not the only one in the neighborhood. It seems that anyone that graduated since DC and has a job nearby has chosen to live at home to save and wait out Covid.
Anonymous
10/28/2021 11:36
Subject: Re:What age should a adult child move out?
a lot of single professionals in NYC will never marry. your point?
Anonymous
10/28/2021 11:05
Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I had to live with mine until I got married at 30. My sister is a PA and still lives with them at 32 so she can pay back her loans. DC is SO expensive, there was no way I could have made it without living with my parents, and I’m super grateful they let me.
Do you think your neighbors thought anything bad of you or your parents?
DH here, I live in a neighborhood of UMC immigrants in DMV. No one would think poorly of adult kids living with their parents. My neighbor's adult son lived with his parents, got married, continued staying with the parents...and then moved out after buying a gorgeous home with a huge down payment. The son's family (wife and kids now) are able to live in the kind of house in DMV that most people cannot afford on a normal salary. This is how you create wealth and leapfrog to a better SES.
This, but Americans have been conditioned to love needless struggle.
And my Greek American friend was demanded to live at home through college and grad school. It was quite the long ordeal when she took a job an hour away at age 26. Her older brother is still local and never married.
Anonymous
10/28/2021 11:04
Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:They think the adult child living at home has problems. Period.
And no intelligent adult worries for a fraction of a second “what people think.”
Good coping mechanism.
Anonymous
10/28/2021 10:21
Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:I love the parents that make them leave, then pay for their apartment.
inDePENdDeNce!!!
here is your 300k so that you can spend 4 years vacationing with your peers at this thing we call 'college'. but beware: some light reading might be required and you will have to DO YOUR OWN LAUNDRY!!! this will toughen you up!
Anonymous
10/27/2021 22:10
Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
I love the parents that make them leave, then pay for their apartment.
Anonymous
10/27/2021 21:59
Subject: Re:What age should a adult child move out?
I worked for an insurance company when I was in my 20s and we had a client who once had me stop by his house. He was in his 40s and lived with his mom. What floored me was him calling her Mommy.
DS moved out a 23, but in his case there were some special needs involved and he was receiving disability benefits although working some. I was concerned because he'd had a lot of struggles, but this actually pushed him into taking more and more responsibility and eventually getting off disability. But he was the one who decided.
DS moved out a 23, but in his case there were some special needs involved and he was receiving disability benefits although working some. I was concerned because he'd had a lot of struggles, but this actually pushed him into taking more and more responsibility and eventually getting off disability. But he was the one who decided.
Anonymous
10/27/2021 21:35
Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I had to live with mine until I got married at 30. My sister is a PA and still lives with them at 32 so she can pay back her loans. DC is SO expensive, there was no way I could have made it without living with my parents, and I’m super grateful they let me.
Do you think your neighbors thought anything bad of you or your parents?
This is such a bizarre concern!
Anonymous
10/27/2021 21:33
Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:They think the adult child living at home has problems. Period.
And no intelligent adult worries for a fraction of a second “what people think.”