Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a really positive, fun parent. But I hold the line! If I say not to do something, there’s a swift and clear reaction from me. Like yesterday my 3 year old threw a tantrum at the end of dinner with grandma and grandpa. I immediately picked him up and put him in his car seat and we went home. He was so upset to not get to stay, maybe have dessert. I didn’t have to spank him.

My kids are the opposite of yours op, they act awful at my parents house. They think they can get anything out of my parents. My parents are permissive and always have lots of treats. So I don’t think kids always act better at grandparents houses…

This seems like Instagram parenting to me. Your three year old has a tantrum, and so the whole family has to drop everything they are doing and leave. That seems like a lot of power for a three year old and kind of rude if you are visiting other people.

+ 1. The better thing to do would be to take the kid to another room until he calmed down (but still deny him dessert etc.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a really positive, fun parent. But I hold the line! If I say not to do something, there’s a swift and clear reaction from me. Like yesterday my 3 year old threw a tantrum at the end of dinner with grandma and grandpa. I immediately picked him up and put him in his car seat and we went home. He was so upset to not get to stay, maybe have dessert. I didn’t have to spank him.

My kids are the opposite of yours op, they act awful at my parents house. They think they can get anything out of my parents. My parents are permissive and always have lots of treats. So I don’t think kids always act better at grandparents houses…

This seems like Instagram parenting to me. Your three year old has a tantrum, and so the whole family has to drop everything they are doing and leave. That seems like a lot of power for a three year old and kind of rude if you are visiting other people.

Op here. Right?! Similar to my child throwing the toy. Should we have left the house even though we only see her a few times a year?!?

I try to do consequences that don't cross the line of punishing us (the adults) as well as the child. For example, for food throwing, we take away the food in question immediately, but will offer more food when she calms down. Sending her to bed hungry would punish the whole family bc she won't sleep. She largely doesn't throw food anymore, so it has worked. For tantrums in public, one parent will remove her (for basically a "time out") and then return her to the situation when she's calm. That's probably what I would've done with the friend gift situation -- remove child, talk to child sternly, have him apologize to friend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a really positive, fun parent. But I hold the line! If I say not to do something, there’s a swift and clear reaction from me. Like yesterday my 3 year old threw a tantrum at the end of dinner with grandma and grandpa. I immediately picked him up and put him in his car seat and we went home. He was so upset to not get to stay, maybe have dessert. I didn’t have to spank him.

My kids are the opposite of yours op, they act awful at my parents house. They think they can get anything out of my parents. My parents are permissive and always have lots of treats. So I don’t think kids always act better at grandparents houses…

This seems like Instagram parenting to me. Your three year old has a tantrum, and so the whole family has to drop everything they are doing and leave. That seems like a lot of power for a three year old and kind of rude if you are visiting other people.

Op here. Right?! Similar to my child throwing the toy. Should we have left the house even though we only see her a few times a year?!?

My best friend was visiting and we already decided what to do when he tested us.

He was Actually a good child and he’s a doctor now, but he would test her in front of friends.

We decided to ignore him. He literally stood on my coffee table for 10 minutes waiting for us to do something.

He said “are you going to say something “ she said “no you know you are wrong your punishment will come but you won’t stop me from talking to my friend now”

Then I pretended I needed to get something in the kitchen and she could deal with him without me there.